Another day, another dollar...sort of

I have been kind of low key here.  Just trying to recupe my positive mental attitude after the few weeks previous.

On Friday, I had a female student show up in a skirt that was too short.  We had been around the block about the skirt before, but she decided that a compromise would be to wear spandex volleyball shorts under the too-short skirt.  Since the Middle School principal was at my door before class started, I asked her opinion...and things went south from there.  Suffice it to say that the youngster has a habit of copping an attitude, which she didn't do this time (but it was the principal's interpretation of her attitude)--so, for the very first time of my teaching career, I called a parent to defend the kid!!

I went to Muncie on Saturday to help out up there.  Took a discarded computer from a ham friend of mine...and it is working!  Meg is online again!  Of course, I loved being with my grandchildren.  They are the light of my life.  God bless the little ones!

Those of you who follow this blather, be well!   Life goes on!

 

Big things in little packages

I returned to school on Tuesday.  My eighth graders, God bless them, were happy to see me.  One dear young lady presented me with a huge package of my favorite potato chips that I eat every morning...  Never mind that they are full of fat and calories, and never mind that I shouldn't eat them!  It meant so much that at least one of my students was paying attention and cared! 

The week was pretty low-key.  Since it was "Basketball Homecoming," there was a dress theme every day.  Monday was Pajama Day; Tuesday was Pirate Day, etc..  The upshot is that every day this week was "casual".  I didn't have to find good clothes to wear!  Thursday was a shortened schedule for a pep session; Friday was a half-day with kids for in-service in the afternoon.  In short, it wasn't a stressful week, and I welcomed that!

Today, Meg and the grandchildren came down for a trip to Sam's Club and other errands/shopping.  The children were good as gold.  We had a nice time.  I think even Meg enjoyed her day here...  Frodo has already recovered from the intrusion into her space!

I was Net Control Operator for the 40-meter SATERN net this morning, and we had 23 check-in's, from central Kentucky, Kansas, Missouri, Ontario, Illinois, Indiana, and western New York.  Band conditions were pretty good, considering that we are on the downslide of the 11-year sunspot cycle.  Hope I live long enough to be around for the upswing!

 

Good-bye, Dear Brother

It has been awhile since I last posted here, but so many things have happened.  We settled on Friday, January 13th, for my brother's funeral services, so there were things to take care of--words to write, motel rooms to be reserved, arrangements to be made for the care of Frodo (my dog), etc.

Meg and Nathan and the children came to Plainfield on Wednesday evening (Nathan's birthday) and spent the night for departure for Illinois the next day.  We decided that we should all ride together in order to save the gas expense for a second car.  Poor Meg rode in the back between the two baby seats, so she really had the worst of it for the 4-hour trip.  The children really are pretty good car riders, though, so there wasn't much fussing.  On the way to Streator, we stopped in Pontiac to drive around old haunts.  I was somewhat surprised to see that the town hasn't changed much since we left in 1988!

After checking into the Town and Country Motel, where we had a 2-room suite with adjoining door, we went to supper at the restaurant, and later took the children swimming in the pool.  That was some consolation for making them ride all that way, and they seemed to enjoy it.  Thereafter, it was time to get everyone quieted down and settled for bedtime.  That proved to be a bit of a tussle!  The Religious Education Director at Meg and Nate's church had sent a book to read to the children to help explain death:  The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, by Judith Viorst.  What was to be a quiet story just didn't work out that way.  The children were fussing with each other, so the moment was somewhat lost (except in my subconscious mind).  Getting Robin--who was my roommate--to sleep was a challenge!  After a number of threats, she finally caved in at 1:30 AM, our time--the same as the night before at my house.  Ugh!

Friday morning, I got up to somewhat heavy rain which soon turned to heavy snow.  There were huge, wet flakes and wind, and it just didn't let up.  Before checking out of the motel, I took some private time to rewrite my notes for the funeral service, and ended up using the cue from the book of the night before to write The Ten Good Things About Douglas.  Then we ventured out to find umbrellas for the cemetery, and a stocking cap for Nathan.  We stopped at the funeral home so I could tell the Director that we were there,but since we had 1 1/2 hours to wait, we decided to take the children to a Burger King Playplace, just to keep them busy. 

When we returned to the funeral home, most everyone was there--no thanks to the road conditions.  Finally, Doug's daughter and her family came in, so we were able to begin the service.  Shari read something that Doug had written years ago.  I read what I had written.  The American Legion performed their rites--flag folding, 21-gun salute, and Taps (accompanied by the sobs of everyone in the room), and Lisa (Doug's daughter) received his flag, as we all wanted.  Then it was time to go to Moon Point Cemetery.  In the snow mixed with rain, I said the words, and Shari spread Doug's ashes.  And then it was over.  (Megan, Nathan, and I later returned to the cemetery before leaving town to have a drinkie with Dad and Doug--something that Doug's friend Carol said he always did when he visited the cemetery.  We wanted to carry on the tradition.)

After the service, we adjourned to the American Legion for a luncheon in order to share some fellowship before returning to our homes--all of which were at a distance.  Some of us shared Doug-stories, and we got to visit with Lisa, her husband Corey, and her 9-year-old daughter Lydia.  That was really nice, in spite of everyone's sorrow over the occasion.

There is a special pain in laying to rest a baby brother.  Burying our grandparents was difficult.  Burying our parents was worse.  But giving up the youngest of the family, taken from us too soon, was very, very tough.  I don't think I have come to grips with it all.  One moment, I am fine; the next, I am sobbing for the curly-haired little boy that I will never see again in this life.  In spite of our estrangement, I always believed that there would be a reconciliation before we passed on.  I carry with me, now, the hope that "the former things have passed away," and that we are all forgiven our transgressions, by each other, to each other. 

Tomorrow, I return to school.  It's time...

A Phoenix?

The news from Streator is that my brother's remains have been cremated, as was his wish.  Since then, I have talked twice to his daughter, lost to us since she was "given up" for adoption at birth many years ago.  Out of the ashes of one life may come the beautiful introduction of another!  I have always hoped I could meet Lisa.  She sounds like an absolutely wonderful woman!

Arranging for our brother's final rest has been complicated by distance and confusion over who should take charge.  Everyone has been kind and helpful, and we are doing the best we can.  It has just gone on so long that we (his sisters) are in need of closure.  I'm sure friends are wondering why we haven't been able to draw this to a conclusion before now.  It all takes time!

Life goes on.  If any good at all can come of this, perhaps it is that we might get to meet our niece.  Closed doors...opened windows.  God works in mysterious ways! 

Return to normalcy?

I have to go back to school tomorrow.  Am I ready?  Nooooo!

Over the last three days, there have been many phone calls and much business transacted in order to "bury" our brother.  After the initial shaking and paralysis upon hearing the news, I have done little else but get by.  This isn't due to sadness so much as due to the immense amount of legwork needed to take care of things by long distance.  Things are coming together, but it is not easy!

More when there is more to say...

Sad, sad day...

This morning, I got an email from a police officer in River Forest, Illinois, asking if I was the Peg McNary who was the sister of Floyd Douglas Covill--that Mr. Covill was ill and could not speak for himself.  I immediately called, only to learn that my brother passed away yesterday.  He was in a store where he simply collapsed, dead.  He was 52.  So today, our sister Shari and I are scrambling to make arrangements, etc., by long distance, on a legal holiday...

Doug never married.  He had a long-term female apartment-mate who knows very little about his personal affairs...and he estranged himself from Shari and me back in 1999 with the sale of our family farm.  (He didn't want to sell, but the other four of us [two sisters and two cousins] in the farm partnership did.)  He felt betrayed and declared that, as far as he was concerned, his sisters were dead to him.  (He still talked to the cousins, however!)  Shari and I made attempts over the years to let him know that we were still here for him.  All were rebuffed.  And now he is gone, and the sisters whom he denied must now sadly make his funeral arrangements, knowing that there are no more opportunities to be a whole family again in this lifetime.

I would be a hypocrite if I said I will miss Doug, since I have been forced to live without him for these last 8 or 9 years--but I miss what might have been, if that makes any sense.  Doug was just...Doug.  He had his own logic and his own opinions.  Arguing with him about anything was pointless because changing his mind about an issue was simply not possible.  I have always said that my brother walked the fine line between genius and insanity!

Doug was the baby of the family--the only boy after three girls (only two of which survive).  He was the cutest little curly-haired fellow, born on Halloween in 1953.  Named Floyd Douglas, he was to be called by his middle name.  (When he was born, Dad declared that he was NOT to be called "Dougie"--and he never was.  Dad usually just called him "The Boy"!)  He went through all 12 grades of school in Oak Park, IL, and enlisted in the Navy at age 19.  He served for 9 years before leaving the service for employment as an electrician in the Chicago area where he has been ever since.  He was an absolute animal lover, taking in wounded or orphaned animals for Trailside Museum in Oak Park to care for before release back into the wild.  He was brilliant, inventive, creative...and stubborn beyond belief!  He was active in genealogical research for our family as well as maintained award-winning websites for cemeteries in our "hometown" area of central Illinois.  (Most notably Moon Point Cemetery in Livingston County, IL.) 

My tears tonight are for me--what could have been and what is lost.  Doug never met my grandchildren; never saw my little bungalow in Indiana.  Shari and I will endeavor to honor his wishes, as much as they are known, and give him a funeral with all of the dignity and honor that befit a veteran and brother. 

Rest in peace, Doug.  Your family never stopped loving you.