All Things Considered...

Today wasn't a bad day! It was perfectly gorgeous outside...sunny, cool...perfect. There were no sibling fights. I didn't even have to raise my voice once! Robin had the bulk of her homework done before she even got home...which was a good thing since this was a soccer game night for Ryan (which I had forgotten until the children got home this afternoon).

I took a run to school to pay my health insurance premium. Almost $650! My VEBA account should be paying that, so I need to contact them for the future. I mean, it's MY money...yes? Considering that the heart attack cost over $60,000 (which is more money than I made per year as a working teacher), I have to be very certain that the insurance keeps on going!

What I didn't do today was work on the house. There is still stuff to do--always--but I was tired. I did fix a pot roast in the crock pot, went to Ry's soccer game, and puttered around some. I considered getting a nap, but my trip to school sort of cut the heart out of the time I had. (I don't want to miss Dr. Phil, you know!)

In short, it was a low-key day. I liked it!

Productive Weekend

Yesterday, I worked on the house, maintaining the cleaning job we did last week. Not a big deal, exactly, since no one was here to mess it up.

Today, I promised myself that I would work on my bedroom. For those of you who are uninitiated, my room is what used to be the garage. Everything that once was in the garage got put on the patio...and, because there is a big walk-in closet in my room, everything that has no other place in the house ends up there. Thus, the two trashiest places in the house/yard are my bedroom and the patio. I started to commence to begin work at getting rid of "schtuff" and finding places for things I don't want to throw away. Sometimes I have to talk to myself about it. "Why am I saving this?" "Where did this come from?" "What was I thinking??" I actually found the floor in places. Meg asked, "What is that tan stuff down there?" Silly girl! The room will not be done in a week. (Heck, it hasn't been done in the year since the remodeling was completed!) But at least I got a start on it. I will keep on keepin' on. Maybe before the snow flies, I can have a nice bedroom and patio. Will keep you posted on that!

This afternoon, I met my friend Ryan and his wife, Bonnie, for supper at Olive Garden. We need to do more of that sort of thing! Ryan knows my house intimately...he has done so many repairs around the place! Bonnie is most patient, I think. She gave me a hug. I should have been the one to initiate that! They are both retired, as I am. We had a good time, although it was cut somewhat short by the fact that my grandchildren were due home and Meg was nowhere to be found. When I got to the house, Nathan and the children were waiting. Ugh!

It has been cool today. I like it but know that it is only an indicator of things to come. I hope God grants me time to get through the fall season!

Why...Again!

I hit a wrong button and published only the title of my blog attempt. Let's try that again...

I'm not a demanding person, but I'd sure like to know WHY the only two days of rain we've had in the last couple of weeks have come right at Ryan's soccer game time.

Other burning questions:

WHY is it that cleaning out something (like a closet or a drawer) creates a bigger mess somewhere else in the house?

WHY have we had Ryan "meltdowns" two Friday evenings in a row?

WHY can I go to bed tired but be unable to sleep?

WHY do I stupidly say I will drive the children to Muncie for a weekend visitation with Daddy when I KNOW (with my luck) that traffic will make it a much longer trip than usual, if I'm driving?

WHY did Robin start asking for a restroom on the way to Muncie when we were in the midst of a traffic tie-up (at 8 mph) and no exit in sight?

WHY can I not find Robin's "new" winter coat, purchased late last winter, but her dirty OLD coat is properly hung up in the closet??

Inquiring minds want to know!

My sister tells me that her garden harvest is in full swing. Wish I were there to help. I miss having a garden, although I've been without one since The Divorce. I am hoping that her tomato crop is good, since I usually try to rob her of whatever extra canned tomatoes she cares to give up. I'm sorry, but there is a most noticeable difference in the taste of foods cooked with home-grown tomatoes vs. the stuff you buy in the store. I was totally spoiled as a kid. We always had fresh garden produce. There ain't nuthin' like it!

My trip to Muncie tonight was most frustrating. Meg had something she wanted to do, so I said I would drive the children up to visit their dad and his fiancee'. Silly me! Traffic came to a slow crawl on the approach to I-69 northbound...and it stayed that way until I was past the first or second exit past the infamous 116th Street exit. Then a lot of traffic exited and we got up to speed...but what is usually a 1.25 hour trip became a 2.5 hour trip. Oh...then there was the stop we had to make for Robin, who had to "go" and was sounding urgent in traffic. Ugh!

In spite of all, life is just not as stressful as it used to be when I went to school, fought with students all day to try to give them an English education, then came home to other young'uns and a messy house. If I live long enough, we might just get things down to a fine science!

I'll be doing cardiac rehab, if insurance can afford it. I still don't have my "heart" into all the changes that the doc wants. I have always been a procrastinator. Maybe life has caught up with me, in that regard??

Ciao, and God bless. Going to bed here.

Why??

The Urge to Kill

Child abuse is a horrible thing. I've spent my entire career working with and defending kids. But I gotta tell ya, I came this close ---> <--- to throttling my grandchildren this afternoon!

It was a perfectly okay day. I worked to maintain the cleaning headway we had made over the last week. I did some dishes and caught up on some laundry. Planned a nice dinner. I even got a luxury bath, complete with my favorite bath oil, before the children got off the school bus. And they got off in good moods. Great day!

The kids had their after-school snacks and were watching TV. All was well...or so I thought. Then, out of nowhere, my grandson heaved the TiVo remote control all the way through the kitchen, from the living room, at his sister. It hit the kitchen floor and went into a zillion pieces.

I confess: I came unglued. I yelled and screamed and threatened to take his favorite toy and smash it to a million pieces, then ordered him to his room. You'd be proud of me: I wanted to beat him bloody...but didn't. Robin, who had hidden in the utility room to escape my wrath, was next on the hit list. The scenario was that Ryan was singing a song in the living room. Robin didn't want him to. She hit him a time or two and tossed the TiVo remote at him, which prompted him to heave it at her. She wasn't innocent. She was ordered to HER room, too. The neighbor boy came to the door wanting the children to come out. Too bad! Ryan was told that he could only come out when his mother got home (and she was late due to some traffic tie-up). Robin fell asleep.

I want everyone to know that the stupid remote control is not worth my blood pressure OR my grandson's sense of being loved. I'm sure he had no notion that the thing would be destroyed by his actions; HOWEVER, the living room television cannot be operated without it. We can turn it on and off at the power button. Period. My main concern is his reckless disregard for property. Meg has ordered a new one, which Ryan will have to "work off". It's not going to be easy for one 5-year-old to work off a $50 investment...but he will, or will lose his "Jack" privileges. In the meantime, I took his Star Wars light saber, which is gone for good. (He paid for it with money he had saved, blah, blah...)

The day ended okay. I am still a bit miffed at Ryan. I have to keep telling myself that I am the adult. Interesting how children figure out what buttons to push!

Day Off

After Meg and guest took off this morning, and I got first one then the other child on the school bus, I went to bed and slept until just before they came home at 4:00. I needed the nap and had already decided this morning that that's what I would do. Good for me!

Maybe I'll feel more like getting back to work on things tomorrow...

Clean House?

I continued to work on the house today in preparation for a guest. 'Twas a marathon, but worth it. (I get amused by my sister's guest preparations. She dusts, vacuums, and changes bed linen. She doesn't have a clue what REAL cleaning is like because her space doesn't get messed up enough!)

The bathroom isn't done. Close...but no cigar. The shower rod project is still ongoing...and the painting (because of that, and other obstacles) isn't totally done. I did get the b-room put back together today, however, and it's going to look nice...when it's done...hopefully, before I croak!

Ryan had been anticipating Megan's friend Denis for some time. When they hit the driveway, after his return from a three-month trip to California, Ryan opened the storm door and screamed, "Denis is here!" Then he proceeded to talk Denis's leg off...about Godzilla and other monsters. Poor Denis! After a long flight and no supper, he was regaled by a 5-year-old who couldn't stop talking! Ry's been put to bed, but I'm 100% sure he isn't asleep yet. My best guess is that he is hoping to talk to them when they get back from their late supper.

Ryan had a soccer game tonight, and Robin had Girl Scouts...and there was just me to deal with both. Thankfully, Grandpa Phil could take Ryan to soccer so I could take Robin to GS...and the Scout leader brought Robin home so I could be here when Ryan got back. It takes a village!

It's been a busy day. I'm ready to hit the sack!

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

There's a children't book called If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. It's all about a chain of events. Give him a cookie and he'll want milk. Give him milk and he'll do something else...blah, blah. In the end, the story comes full circle with the mouse wanting another cookie. It seems that life is like that around here, these days. One little job begets another job, usually bigger.

We decided to have the bathroom floor replaced. I bought some quality vinyl and scheduled the fellow that does that for me. But first, we needed to get the wallpaper scraped off the walls...something that has been in various stages of completion for over a year, so we could paint behind the fixtures before the floor went in. I finally hired a fellow to help get that finished. Then, I figured that we needed to take the sink and sink cabinet out in order to get the flooring under all of that, to do it right. Friend Ryan helped with that...but the shut-off valves under the sink were stubborn, so those were going to have to be replaced. Then the toilet had to come up. Hmmm...another shut-off valve needed. I also wanted a "clean" paint job done on the baseboards, so those came up, too. (Do you see where I'm going with this?) The last bastion of effort came with putting up a permanent shower rod (instead of the tension rod that has been up there forever). That created another problem which is still being worked on. You get the picture. It ain't over 'til it's over!

The children came home from Muncie quite peaceful tonight. They played nicely together in Robin's room until long past bedtime. I maintain that part of that is the fact that Robin's room was clean and organized--something that took me several hours on Saturday. She could find things so wanted to play with them! They were tucked in late but seemed to be ready to sleep. Uh...maybe I spoke too soon. Just found both of them in Robin's room (10:50 PM).

Time for Grandma to hit the sack. Tomorrow is the "make it or break it" day for getting the house presentable for a guest. I'm not sure it's worth all the work we've put in!

Busy Day

Trying to get the house put back together after changes. Always interesting.

I'm just happy to be alive to see changes in this old place. Thanks be to God!

OMG!

Couldn't get Meg and the kids on the road to Muncie soon enough! Ryan has been a royal pill all stinkin' day, from deliberately doing what he's been asked NOT to do, to being demanding and whiny. He was up before I was, which makes for a looong day!

I had workmen coming over today, with a prior warning that I had to take Ryan to Riley Hospital for a follow-up appointment post-concussion. (They can work without me. In fact, they can probably work BETTER without me!) For two days, Ryan has been hounding me to take him to Meijer because some fancy Bakugon monsters were on clearance. I gave in. Figured it was better than trying to keep him otherwise occupied before we had to leave for Riley at 10:30. He conned me out of $15 worth of stuff. (Note to self: I owe the same to Robin.)

He worried a bit about the doctor appointment. Was it going to hurt? I assured him it wouldn't, but he was still clingy at a time when I really didn't want him clinging. Why? Because he was kicking the back of my car seat, kicking things on the floor of the car, and generally being annoying all the way there. At the hospital, he couldn't stand still while we waited for the receptionist to get stuff in order on her computer. He all but stood on his head. I kept telling myself that this is normal for a 5-year-old boy...but I felt stressed by it, nonetheless. Happily, we didn't have to wait long, nor were we in the doctor's office long. The neurologist declared him fit to return to normal activities. Yay!

Then we went to the McDonald's located inside Riley for lunch. (Ryan was impressed that the McD's was IN the hospital.) He did pretty well there. Got a three-part Lego car for the Happy Meal treat (which he promptly dropped no fewer than three times in the hospital and the parking garage--which sent all three parts in different directions). Ugh! Ry wanted ice cream, but we were running out of time to get him to school, so I told him we'd do Ritter's after school. Delivered him and his medical release to school. Came home to the mess here.

While the floor dude continued to work on the bathroom floor installation (which is more complicated than it sounds because we had removed both toilet and sink in order to do the job right, and two fellows were working on it), I decided to go through the stack of junk and/or unopened mail on the fireplace mantel. I came ---> <--- this close to throwing away an envelope that said BAC Mortgage Servicing on it. I mean, my mortgage is with Bank of America (the fourth bank since 1992 when I bought the house). Who in the devil is BAC?? Anyway, I opened the envelope and found a check for over $400 for "escrow overage" from my mortgage holder! That check just paid for my new bathroom floor! To think I almost threw it away without opening it...!

The rest of the afternoon went downhill. The kids got off the bus at 4:00. I had a frozen pizza just out of the oven for an early supper, since Ryan had a soccer game at 6:00, and we were to have him at the field by 5:40 for pictures. Got him all done up in his uniform. Put drinks in a little cooler. Got folding chairs in the trunk. Got umbrellas for the kids because it looked like rain. Got Robin rounded up with whatever she needed for entertainment. (They decided Ritter's would be better after the game.) Meg hit the road from work in order to meet us at the field. We got there, as instructed...but it was raining. We waited in the car (impatiently, btw) until almost time for the pictures...still raining...but no one showed up. All I got out of the deal was wet kids. When Meg got there, I met her at my car so she could help carry the chairs. She instructed Ryan not to walk in a huge puddle, and he totally ignored her...something he had been doing with me all day. He almost lost his chance to play out of that deal. Only then did I find out that he had bragged to her that he had stayed up all night. Hmmm...things were beginning to add up.

Ryan made three goals all by himself. His team beat the pants off the other team...but they don't have much strategy at his age, nor do they keep score. The rain had stopped. We had the only kid who was wet... Robin discovered that she could get TWO candy treats for 25 cents at the concession stand. Thus, both kids had junk. The coach announced that the kids should be at the field early NEXT game for pictures. I didn't mess up. They did!

Back at the car after the game, for reasons known only to God, Ryan threw multiple tantrums. (Sister didn't help the situation.) Ritter's was canned in an effort just to get him home. He cried loudly all the way home. Then he cried and threw more tantrums in preparation to leaving for Muncie. In short, we had one tired little dude who was out of control...and one grandmother who was close to murder and mayhem by the time they hit the road tonight.

The bright spots of the day: Ryan's medical release, the escrow check, and the lovely new bathroom floor. The dark spots: everything else!

Meg will get home late from Muncie. There is a lot to do between now and Sunday when the children return...and overnight company on Monday. I won't be long for the world tonight!

Work, Work, Work...

We are preparing for overnight guests on Monday...but the main bathroom is still totally torn apart! The only consolation I have is that it will be lovely when it is finally done. Tomorrow? Maybe...

My poor grandson has been almost insolable that his buddy Jack hasn't gone to school the last two days. He's been bored out of his mind. Has forgotten how to play by himself, and anything I suggest isn't the right thing. Ugh!

Ryan goes back to the neurologist at Riley Hopital for Children tomorrow to determine if he is fit for physical activity. My guess is yes. He's been hard to keep down, bless his heart. If he gets released, we go to his first soccer game berfore the evening is over. It will be a busy day!

I got most of the laundry done today, and some minor housework, while the floor deal was being done. Time now to hit the sack. "Night" y'all.

Dear Mom

Hey...let me start this by saying that I still miss you! Robin's birthday would have been your 90th birthday, had you lived that long. You always said you didn't want to live to be 100, but I thought 67 was a bit young to leave me. I know you didn't mean it...but why did you have to leave me the bad genes and give Shari all of the good ones???

What I am really writing about is: how did you manage to raise three of us?? I had one. She was plenty. Now, I am helping out with my two grandchildren (whom you would love, btw), and every day I wonder how you did it. I understand a few things better now...

I remember so many times, traveling across country to meet Dad's ship in California...in an un-air-conditioned car (they didn't exist in those days)...and sans radio. Windows down. Two siblings in the back seat, and a baby in the front (in the days before Pampers). There were the crayons that totally melted in the car's back window ledge...the Skunk game that stunk up the whole car...the water canteen that didn't last past a childish run on water in the desert (which caused me to say that you were trying to make us die of thirst). There was Shari's strep throat as we looked for a doctor in a one-horse town in Wyoming, the cascade of crickets on the ground at one gas stop (and I didn't have shoes on)...and only hot water in the fountain there. Then there was the time on the way back to Illinois from Hawaii that I threw up all over the floor of the motel...and in the car as we ticked off the miles for the farm...home. How did you survive it all???

When we settled in Oak Park, I would come home from school and find you up on a ladder, washing walls. Or fixing supper. Or just finishing washing a floor, and complaining when we walked on it, still wet. I get it now! Today, Ryan dropped his banana bread on the floor after I had washed it. He dribbled food all over his clean school shirt before I could catch it. I had to clean filthy fingernails before I could send him off to school. When both children came home, they kicked their shoes to the wind and starting asking for this thing or that thing before I could even catch my breath. They are good kids, Mom...and WE were good kids. I mean, we turned out okay. Is this a pattern??

I'm trying to keep my head on straight. I never, ever, felt that your clean house was more important that we were, but I know you had to have been frustrated. God bless and keep you, dear Mother...and may He grant me the same patience that you had, via experience!

Where Does the Time Go?

Just about had another heart attack when the bills started coming in from the last one. We're at $60,000 and counting. *Paragraph break* The children are doing well in school, so far. Ryan has declared that he likes Kindergarten better than he liked pre-school. He gets on the bus like a little trouper at 12:30 PM, then gets to ride home with his sister and the neighbor boy. *Yesterday, I had a doctor appointment in the morning so delivered Ryan to his other grandparents for a couple of hours. Grandma Judy plopped him in the tub before I picked him up since he had been playing in the dirt. We had lunch, blah, blah, then went out to wait for the bus. I noticed that his shorts were on backwards, so we hid in front of the car to do a quick rearrangment. Just as I had his shorts off, here came the bus! The driver honked because she didn't see us--which is good. We didn't want her to! We got his britches up just in time. Another crisis averted! *The doc spent quite a bit of time with me. He is the cardiologist that attended me at Clarian West Hospital before they shipped me off to Methodist. He remembered our "drive-in fire department" run on the day of the heart attack and commented that the paramedic from PFD detected what was going on. "That's a little unusual." (I really must bake something to take over there to those guys.) He doubled the dose on my heart medicine and prescribed nitroglycerin as "insurance". He said I should take it if I had any heart pain (which I haven't had). I said, "If I am having heart pain, shouldn't I be calling 911 instead of taking pills?" He said yes..."Take a pill...then another. By the third one, you should be talking to them on the other end of the phone." Heh heh. You bet I will!! *Am supposed to be getting a new bathroom floor today. I will be happy to get the bathroom done, once and for all! It has been torn up for over a week. (Thank goodness we have another bathroom!) *I finally signed up on Facebook on the urging of former students. I am absolutely amazed at the people who come out of the woodwork on there! *More later. Gotta go get some things out of the way for the flooring dude...

Day Four

We are getting into a pattern here. Four days does not a schedule make, but it's better. Robin got up in a snit this morning because she hadn't finished her homework last night and needed to do that. She squared away fairly quickly. Meanwhile, Ryan had apparently been up during the night, looking for snacks. Meg found him walking around sucking on a Ring Pop at 10:30. Ugh! *Paragraph break* I got Robin on the bus this AM. There is a youngster across the street...can't be more than Kdg. age...who has to cross Stanley Road in front of the bus in order to get on....just before our intersection. In essence, the driver stops a half block from us for a student, then comes a few feet to get the Kdg young'un...then comes forward a few feet to pick up Robin and Jack. I asked her this afternoon if it would help for Robin and Jack to be across Walton to be picked up when the little girl is. She said no. She is trying to rearrange her route so that the little girl won't have to cross in front of the bus and that our children merely need to wait because she will come down Walton, at some point, and pick the kids up. A work in progress...

Along about 8:30 this morning, a hard hat from Duke Energy knocked on the door and said that they were doing work in the area and needed to shut the power off for an hour in 25 minutes. I had scheduled a young man to come and do some work at 9:00. It was going to cut into our time...but he was late, so the timing worked perfectly. Bless Ryan's little heart, his Zoo Tycoon computer game was not to be interrupted because Meg's computer works on battery when the power goes down. He was happy.

I worked hard on the house today. You can't tell it, but I did. More to come.
Ciao!

Feeling Good

Guess I should mention this since people seem concerned about my health, post-heart attack: I feel better than I have felt in a year or more! I have more energy, do not get tired as easily or as out of breath, and have no pain or weakness. God has truly blessed me!

Day Is Done

Everyone is in bed...and I'm not long for the world tonight, having not had much sleep last night. Robin caved in immediately. She, too, hadn't had much sleep.

This is going to sound stupid, but what I am doing right now by way of looking after my grandchildren is what I always wished I could have done with my own daughter. I never had the luxury of volunteering to be a room mother or attending field trips, etc., because I always had to work. Since I was in education, however, I did have the luxury of keeping the same hours and vacation days as Meg did--something she doesn't have with her own children right now. I do get somewhat impatient with their messes and tempers, but I am trying to stay calm and keep their days as unstressful as possible, while attempting to keep my own the same way. Who knows how successful that will be? I mean, we have only just finished Day Two of school!

Today, Ryan got to perform the first function of having a sibling in the same school: bringing home Robin's missed math homework. This is all new ground we tread.

I have something in common with the neighbor whose son, Jack, is the children's new "best friend". Grandma Bobbie comes to their house every day to look after Jack and his 4-year-old sister while their mother works. Bless her. At least I am in my own home. I can't imagine doing that every day...

Ready to hit the sack. My sister tells me I shouldn't overdue things. Huh? What does that mean? My whole life has been overdone!! I am under no physical restrictions now. The diagnosis says activities "as tolerated". I'm tolerating okay, so far!

Nightie.

Lucky Us!

Last week, I mentioned that we are a lucky family in that "we" dodged a couple of bullets with health. Today, we ran out of dodging ability! Robin got me up at about 2:30, having thrown up on the carpet in the living room. She threw up two more times before school, so the kiddo got to stay home on the second day of the school year! She has been fine, ever since, of course. Bored, but fine.

I hadn't planned to have both children home this morning, so progress on the house was almost nil. Stuff happens, ya know?

School Starts!

Yesterday, we raced around to finish plans for Robin's birthday party at Splash Island, Plainfield's water recreation park. It was the hottest day of the season. Good day for swimming! Everyone gathered at the same time. She had a nice celebration of her 7th birthday, complete with cousins from Tennessee and friends from Plainfield. The outside portion of the pool closes at 6:00, but we were allowed to swim inside thereafter for no extra charge. Left about 7:00, then had the whole evening's drill to do before bed. *Paragraph break* Today is the first day of school in Plainfield...full day. Both children will be riding the bus--Robin in the AM and Ryan in the PM for Kdg., except today when I decided to deliver them, myself. I was thinking how nice it would be for both of them to be able to sleep in a little later than when they had to go to their other grandparents' when Meg left for work last school year...BUT...I forgot about "school jitters". Ryan crawled into bed with me a 3:40 AM, and Robin was up at 6:00. So much for that! *We delivered Robin to her classroom at the appointed time. She found her desk and unloaded her supplies. She knew a couple of kids in her class so there was no great trauma. We hugged and went on our way. Ryan proved to be almost as stalwart. When I delivered him to his classroom, he was shy...hung back a little bit...but wasn't terrified. His teacher said the greeting was "hug, high five, or hand shake". He chose hand shake...then went in to play with things on the tables, as instructed. *I had to take his immunization record and his physical restriction note to the nurse, then came home with a sigh. (You can't tell that the young'un had a major bike accident just five days ago. His face is all but healed, and he complains of nothing. He can't wait for his restrictions to be gone. Heck, he still has adhesive on him from the tape holding his IV line and ECG probes in place!) *I'm not the children's parent, but I feel like I want to sit down and write whole documents about the kids for their teachers. "Ask Ryan about dinosaurs." "Give Robin a chance to create." "Robin is a perfectionist and won't attempt something she doesn't think she can do well." "Ryan is an over-confident dare-devil with a temper." But ya know? I don't ever remember feeling the need to do that with their mother. I think when YOU are the parent, you just cross your fingers and hope because stress levels are so high. When you are the grandparent, you want everyone to appreciate them the way that you do. Heh heh...when Meg was in middle school, I did write a poem or two to her teachers about this and that. It was a much better way of complaining than sending nasty-grams. Her science teacher loved one particular poem so much, she had it framed and claimed she was going to try to have it published in a science journal! And so it goes... *For those of you who wondered if I would miss going back to school this month, I have one thing to say: HAHAHAHAHA!!! Not a chance! Three of the teachers at the kids' school are my former pupils. I take some comfort in that. I gladly pass the torch to those who have more energy and youth than I. I repeat: gladly!

A Single Rose

Nothing has been done in the yard for two years now. No flowers, except the perennials that have been forever planted. At my retirement, I was given a lovely little tea-rose planter. Have had those before. They never last long, no matter what I do. I took it to the patio and let Nature water it. Of course, it mostly died. When I got back from the hospital on Tuesday, I noticed with shock that there was one bud about to bloom. Where did that come from?? What a lovely sign of life! One single tiny rose, blooming in spite of its surroundings and care. Just like me. God provides. I'm listening.

What a Week!

Meg and Ryan returned home from Riley Hospital for Children around 5:30 yesterday afternoon. Yay! I had Chinese food waiting for them, by special request. When supper was over, I went to the drug store to get his Tylenol with Codeine and one of my own prescriptions filled. When I got back, they were both snuggled on the couch--Meg, mostly asleep. I sent her off to bed by 6:30. Thereafter, Ryan (of course) got anything he wanted! He had Cheetohs, two sugar-free fudgesicles, and a sugar-free popsicle. (The boy had been an eating machine all day. He normally eats like a bird!) He became energized while I was fading fast...so I gave him some of his medicine, which made him sleepy. (Bad Grandma! In my own defense, Ry had only had about a three-hour nap in the hospital since Tuesday night. I didn't think a little drug-induced slumber would hurt him!) Then I went to bed. It's all good.

Ryan will start Kindergarten on Monday with physical restrictions: no recess and no gym--and no bicycle--until he has been checked out in two weeks. He isn't complaining of a headache, so keeping him relatively quiet won't be an easy task. He's a boy, ya know?

This has been quite a week for us all. I'm glad to see it go! TGIF!!!!!!!!!!

Update

The CT scan that the doc ordered at Riley came out "normal". There was one spot that looked suspicious, but they don't think he is in any real danger. He definitely has a concussion, but they've had him up and around. Said if he continues to look good, he can go "home" today. He wants to come back to Plainfield. He could do that and go back to Muncie tomorrow with Grandma and Grandpa H, if he wants. Meg is still with him at Riley. She and Nathan are both running on no sleep! "We" dodged a serious bullet on this one. Second successful dodge this week. Wonder how long our luck will hold out?!

More Excitement

What day is this? I've lost track.

Yesterday (Wednesday), I puttered around the house, ran some errands, and did some cleaning. Meg came home from work. I think I went to bed sometime after 10:00 but didn't fall asleep right away. I dozed some. Along about 12:20 AM, the phone rang. I fumbled with the television remote thinking it was the cordless phone. By the time I actually got to the phone, it wasn't ringing anymore...and I didn't recognize the "wireless caller" number. I went back to sleep. About 1:30, Meg came into my room and said that Nathan had called her cell phone. Ryan had fallen off his bicycle and hit his head. An hour or two later, they decided to take him to the emergency room in Muncie because he was sleepy and vomiting. A CT scan at Ball Memorial Hospital detected some bleeding on the brain. They were transferring him by ambulance to Riley Hospital for Children in Indy. "Do you want to stay here, or are you going with me?" Dumb question!

We got ourselves together and took two cars to Riley. Neither of us had ever been there before. It was now 2-something AM...still dark...and we didn't know how to get in the hospital from the parking garage. That wing of the hospital was locked up and dark. We no more than walked out of the garage (outside) when we saw a couple of workmen pull up. I asked them if they knew the hospital well and/or could direct us to the ER. Not only did they know the hospital, they had keys to get in locked doors and locked security gates. One of the men went out of his way to escort us to the ER. Coincidence that we should run into them just then? I don't think so! Those men were God's angels!

Nathan had ridden in the ambulance with Ryan, and it had arrived just a few minutes before we got there. The ER nurses were putting a smaller neck brace on Ryan when we walked in. There was my little grandson with his face all messed up, bloody lip, etc., strapped to the same monitors that I had on me in Critical Care. He was very quiet but watching television. It took almost two hours before the neurologist showed up. (Another "hurry up and wait" situation.) Thankfully, Ryan could do just about everything the doctor asked him to do. Another doctor came in to check for internal injuries, etc. Then it was determined that he would be taken for another brain scan, then be admitted for observation. I left just as they came to take him. Nathan had had no sleep. Meg got a couple of hours before he called. Meg will stay for the duration. Nathan will await someone from Muncie to come and take him home.

Ryan WAS wearing his bike helmet, which was cracked in the accident. He doesn't remember what happened. Just imagine how bad things could be if he hadn't been helmeted! I will run some errands and await CT scan results before deciding what to do next--whether I'll be going back to Riley or what. Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Home looked good, albeit pretty much the way I had left it on Saturday. The only good thing about the heart attack was that it happened with the children in Muncie so we didn't have to worry about who was going to take care of them in my absence. Obviously, we are going to have to come up with a Plan B for the future...

Old age carries with it so many little aches and pains that I largely ignore. Saturday AM, the back of my neck ached a little, like I had messed it up by propping my head up on my arm while watching TV in my room, as I often do. Then my right arm got tingly, as it often does when I am on the computer with my arm outstretched at the mouse. I took an aspirin, telling Meg I'd start on housework when the neck felt a little better. The arm got a little worse...then the other arm started. Both felt tingly, numb, achy, and heavy...especially to the elbows...like nothing I had ever experienced before. I could hardly lift them. Then...and only then...did I become aware that I had a dull ache in the chest right between the breasts. I felt a tiny bit of nausea. By this time, Meg was in the shower. I paced a bit, wondering what was going on, feeling more and more anxious. When she got out, I said, "I don't want to alarm you, but something is going on with me." She quickly dressed, then we started a Keystone Kops effort to figure out what to do. We got in her van. Do we call an ambulance? Drive to the hospital? Which hospital??? As we headed for the Hendricks County Hospital, we drove right by the fire department and decided to stop there.

When we pulled around the back of the FD, some of the firemen/paramedics, who were at a lunch break at a picnic table, were just being called on a run. (Not all left, of course.) I rolled down the window and said, "Where do you go if you think you're having a heart attack?" "We'll take care of you right here." And they did. They got another ambulance, put me in it, and said Clarion West (Hospital) would be closest. Meg was to follow us there. They didn't run lights and siren because I was doing okay.

The paramedic was running an ECG as we traveled. I began to complain that my heart was "palpitating"--you know...that feeling that it is skipping a beat, then pounding. (Everyone gets those. This was just lasting awhile and making me feel bad and ill-at-ease.) Adam (the paramedic) could see it on the ECG. He was saying things like, "You're feeling it now, aren't you?" Then, "Better now?" Then, "You're feeling bad again." Yup! Really no pain...just irregular stuff. Adam told the driver that we should run "1A" or something like that, then said to me, "I just don't like to be stuck in traffic". Lights and siren went on and we peeled out. I could see Meg perfectly well behind us, although she couldn't see me. I said, "You just gave my daughter a heart attack!" (Meg has her own story about that. When she heard the sirens, she looked back thinking an ambulance was coming from behind...then realizing that it was MY ambulance. That was one moment of panic. Another moment came when she realized she didn't know where Clarion West was...and we were leaving her in the dust! Needless to say, she found it. We were almost there anyway...)

At the hospital ER, they ran tests, etc. I was told that I "mostly likely" had a heart attack...that I would need an angiogram (heart catheterization), but that they didn't have a crew on hand over the weekend there, so they were sending me to Methodist Hospital in Indy. By this time, I was feeling okay. (They had given me stuff for pain, I guess...although pain wasn't my complaint.) ANYWAY, I got yet another ambulance ride to Methodist where I was put in Critical Care and not allowed to eat because of an impending angiogram...that didn't happen. I was stable. No need to call in people over the weekend. (Meg was able to get me some food around 10:30 PM. I was hungry!!) Next day (Sunday), same drill. No food most of the day until they decided (again) that there was no hurry for the angiogram. I could have stayed at Clarion West! Monday, again no food after midnight. They finally took me for the heart cath just after noon, I think. Artery stented. Back to the room.

I was finally told, along about Sunday, that I had, indeed, had a heart attack. The heart throws off enzymes (Troponin I) when it is damaged. A reading of .2 is considered abnormal. Mine peaked out at 24 (indicating "moderate damage") but had dropped to 2 by the time I was discharged. I had to make some of my own assumptions because I don't think I saw the cardiologist more than 4 minutes the entire time I was in there!

There has been some depression with this. It isn't so much that I was in danger of dying...although I guess I could have been...but rather the darned inconvenience of it all. I had things to do! I got very impatient with the delays and the hurry-up-and-wait mentality at the hospital. I guess people who have heart attacks are supposed to feel bad and need the rest. I didn't. And rest? HA! I can't sleep in hospital beds, all connected up to things. When I had the ruptured aneurysm two years ago, I felt so awful and was in such a brain-fog that I didn't much care what they did to me. Brain catheterization? No biggie. Brain surgery? Oh, well...whatever. This time, I didn't feel bad. I knew I was in trouble and wanted to get it over with...but I really REALLY didn't want open-heart surgery. I dreaded the whole thing. Then, too, there were the needles. I had several needle sticks to get in TWO lines to put stuff in and draw blood out. For the last 24 hours, neither one of the two that were in were connected to anything...and they were beginning to hurt. The one that they had been using to draw blood clogged up when they stopped the Heparin drip, so that added to the new sticks. I counted nine in four days...all bruised.) Just trying to reach for things, go to the bathroom, get comfortable, etc., were a pain in the posterior. It was beginning to bug me, big time. I felt that the doctors (not so much the nurses) were talking down to me...ignorant old lady...doesn't know how to take care of herself...probably won't take her medicines, etc. Okay...so that's over. Why am I still bugged?

The result of all of this is that I will now be strapped to medications, doctor follow-ups, heart rehab, lifestyle changes, diet changes, and worry. I can't live worrying about every little ache or pain, or wondering if today will be the last, etc. I resent the intrusions into my life. I know I should be grateful for the life-saving care that I got, and that the future is probably a little brighter because I will now be monitored. And I am grateful...really! But I am also angry. I can't explain it. Am still trying to sort my feelings out for myself before I can even make sense of it to anyone else.

I do feel better today insofar as I am up and taking care of business. School starts for the children on Monday, and I DON'T HAVE TO GO. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Home

I am home from the hospital. I did, indeed, have a heart attack. I am now sporting a stent in one of my cardiac arteries and am glad to be alive. Will write more tomorrow. Just too weary tonight.

Ho Hum

A funny thing happened yesterday. I ended up in the hospital! Saturday morning, I had symptoms that seemed like a heart attack...and that is what I am being treated for. "Mild". I am using Meg's laptop for email when she's here. Will have a cardiac catheterization tomorrow...and hope I can then go home by Tuesday. This whole deal has been "hurry up and wait"...and "let's stick Peggy with a needle one more time because we couldn't hit the vein the last three times". You get the picture...

I really am fine. Whatever happened--a clot, they are supposing--resolved itself. Discomfort went away on the first leg of the hospital journey yesterday. My "heart enzymes" were elevated,
indicating that I did, indeed, have a heart attack. Thankfully, the enzyme numbers have gone way down since their peak yesterday. I feel good and want to go home!!!