Friday, December 24, 2010

So Here It Is

Today is the day before Christmas. Tonight, magic is supposed to happen. The snow has already begun here, with my daughter and son-in-law set to fly eastward tomorrow. I am praying that "magic" will provide a weather window for no delays. I just want them all here safely! Hmmm...well, for the first time in a long time, the system won't allow me to make a paragraph break, so I will put an asterisk where a next paragraph should start. Sorry! *One magical Christmas Eve memory was when I was probably 8 or 9 years old. (Can't remember, exactly.) I was at my grandparents' farm, expected to sleep on the living room hide-a-bed couch in the midst of two big picture windows. I think the parents and grandparents were playing bridge or pinochle in the same living room...which they loved. I loved it, too. They laughed and had a good time...and I was always happily on the fringe of their adult world. Along about midnight that evening, a dense fog descended on the farm, and the moisture froze on every limb, twig, and blade of grass, making a hoar frost that created a fairyland out of the environs. Although I was supposed to be asleep (no one else was!), I was enthralled. I had never experienced hoar frost before, but it was Christmas Eve magic! I was 100% certain that it was part of God's message to me. *The next miracle didn't happen on Christmas Eve, but the song referred to it. My mother had just died, suddenly. My 7-year-old daughter had a solo in her school's Christmas concert for the song, "The Friendly Beasts". I didn't know what to expect. I was just numb. I sat in the bleachers blubbering like a baby as my child stepped up to the microphone and sang her verse in the clearest voice. Thank God, I have a recording of it! (I just found it a few days ago.) It was so very special to me! *The next memorable Christmas Eve occurred when my daughter and grandchildren and I spent the holiday in Florida. It was different! We were in a time-share condo. The children emerged from 21 hours in the car to put on their bathing suits and run to the surf where they ran and laughed and fell over in the sand. That Christmas Eve, we made a gingerbread house and hung stockings on a bathroom door. We prayed that Santa could find us there! (He did!) *Last Christmas Eve, Megan and Denis were traveling to California. We had made our sad "good-byes" a few days before. Nathan (my grandchildren's father), his wife, and all three children joined us (me and the other grandparents) for the candlelight service at our church. It felt great to have them there! I think they were impressed with the service. I was more impressed with how wonderful it was to be with them! *This year, my family is due to gather within the next day or two. I have purchased every stinking thing that I can for food and gifts. All I want is for everyone to be safe and happy. I'm not sure if there will be flight delays tomorrow. I could suggest that Megan just hitch a ride on Santa's sleigh! God provides. I won't be happy until all of my babies are in my clutches! *I will attend church tonight and will cry through it all. Don't ask me why! *So...to my friends and loved ones--whoever reads this--God bless you all and give you a reason to live and be happy. Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sometimes things happen in life that are too personal, too life-changing, or too confusing to be put into words. I had one of those moments last night (Monday). If I have learned nothing else in my existence, I have figured out that time changes things. The truth today may not be the truth tomorrow. I have also learned that I am just old enough that it is difficult for me to deal with change--especially change that I didn't initiate. I have been dealing with over a year of heartbreak in my personal life. I've done the best I can, but it hasn't been pretty.

I had hoped that retirement would be a happy time, but then there was the heart attack and the removal of my grandchildren. I'm not over all of that yet. No one ever explained that there would be anger and depression with a heart attack...or devastation with the grandkid thing. Basically, everything in my life changed (retirement, heart attack, custody change with grandchildren) within a 4-month period. Guess I should have been more resilient...but how much more can a person take??

Now my daughter is experiencing some major health problems and she really just needs the mommy she rejected a year ago. I think time has helped her children. I still struggle, but I have always been there for my kid. I will try to continue to do that, only less of an enabler.

I am really excited at the prospect of having all of my ducklings in my pond for Christmas week! God is in control. I am ready!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Woohoo!

If you live anywhere near Plainfield and didn't feel the earth move this afternoon, you weren't paying attention. For the first time in at least 2 1/2 years, my "new" garage bedroom is clean and organized! Victory! Of course, it was guided by the knowledge that my daughter and son-in-law would have to sleep in the room because it has the only double bed in the house...but still...I'm so glad it's done! Big time accomplishment! Can't wait for my family to be here this weekend!!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Message to Lydia

I just tonight saw your response to my post about family eating treats. I am totally honored that you follow my blog, although I can't imagine how boring it must be for a young'un to read my blatherings!

Let me just say this: you are one of the most "grounded" of my former students that I have ever had the pleasure to know. I follow you on Facebook. I love your sense of humor and your maturity...and your confidence. You always seem to "get it"...and I applaud your parents for raising a good kid!

Thanks for hanging in with an old lady who cares about you. Merry Christmas, Lydia Lucas!

Last Sunday in Advent

Back in early April, I had occasion to go to Plainfield's Christian gift store looking for baptism gifts for my grandchildren. On a sale table, there was an Advent wreath marked 75% off because the box was damaged. I've always wanted an Advent wreath, so I bought it. (It also prompted my motivation that my grandson asked why I didn't have one last Christmas!) Even though I only had company on the first Sunday of Advent (when the grandchildren and other grandparents were here to break bread together over Thanksgiving), I have been faithful about lighting the candles alone and letting them burn for an hour. The Christ candle is to be lit on Christmas Day, but in my house, it won't be lit until my family is all here on the 26th. That will truly be a special day!

After church, I treated Judy and Phil (the other grandparents) to lunch at Panera Bread (Judy's choice) in honor of her birthday on the 23rd. They will be in Tennessee visiting family and so will not be here for her birthday OR Christmas. They are such nice people and have been so good to me through the years. I didn't want to miss a chance to have our own little celebration before they take off for points south. Of course, because the Colts were playing today at 1:00, we had to make it an early luncheon--which worked for me because I was hungry!

Colts won. Woohoo! That means they are still in the playoffs. Had they lost today against Jacksonville, they would have been out of the running. Austin Collie got another concussion on his first game back after a nasty concussion three weeks ago. Although he is a favored player, his health isn't worth it. He did come back to the sidelines looking very morose. Poor guy had two touchdowns in the first half of the game...but now it looks like he'll be out for awhile.

I need to get back to working on my room. I told myself I'd have it done by bedtime today...but since I watched the game, I'm wondering if that's going to happen. Wish me luck!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Second Verse, Same as the First...

Okay...here's the scenario:
A couple of years ago, Meg and I had the one-car garage in my tiny house transformed into a Grandma Room, in order to provide a bedroom for everyone who was living here then. The garage transformation was professionally done by a family member in the construction business out of the Greencastle area. (Megan and I re-did the other bedrooms with a lot of sweat equity and help from friends.) Everything that had been in the garage went to the patio to be sorted later. The walk-in closet that was built in the garage room became major storage for tools, sewing materials, radio crap, clothes, craft supplies, and other goodies too good to pitch. Then, every stinkin' thing in the house that had no other place to be got stashed in my hodge-podge garage bedroom. It is my bedroom/computer room/radio shack. I spend 90% of my at-home time in the room; HOWEVER, only my daughter, grandchildren, and a very short list of trusted friends have ever been allowed in there because I am STILL trying to find places for everything. In all this time, it has never been clean enough to show off. Seriously. I have worked on it, made headway, given up....worked on it, made headway, given up. You get the picture.

Well, in one week, my daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren will be here for a week for the holidays. My bedroom is the only room in the house with a double bed, so Megan and Denis will have to sleep there. That means--you guessed it--I have to have it cleaned up! Crunch time!

This morning, I launched again into a clean/sort/pitch campaign. Have worked all day on the room, dismantling plastic shelves that are just dust/junk collectors, going through stacks and stacks of unopened mail (ancient), attempting to simplify a very complicated place. What I have concluded from my labors is that there is way too much to do! My goal is to have the room DONE by bedtime on Sunday. We'll see!

What have I uncovered in my treasure-trove bedroom?

1. My car key with the automatic opener on it!!!!!! This has been missing for well over a month. I bought the silly opener deal to replace the previous one, to the tune of $72, and it killed me to have it lost. (Prompted me to have an extra key made...just to have a spare.) Where was it? Don't know how it got there, but it was in a box of toy junk from Robin's room that was somehow transplanted to mine. I picked up the box from the floor and put it on my bed...and managed to see the key amid the junk. Yay! The lost is found!

2. An unopened package of bottle rockets. Huh?? Don't ask... I have no idea where they came from or how they got there!

3. A lopsided elephant and a mermaid on a rock--both glazed clay projects that I did in junior high school. Can't exactly throw them out, now can I?

4. Literature for appliances bought LONG ago. One is for the silly microwave that I still use. The date on the manual is 1981. It's almost as old as my daughter!! Some of the manuals are for appliances I no longer have... One set is for the bicycles that I donated to my former son-in-law. I'll try to see that he gets those, even if he doesn't need them. I sure don't!

5. A Christmas stocking knitted for my ex-husband at his birth in 1945 (date knitted into it) left behind by my daughter. What am I supposed to do with that???? Suggestions?

I have seen more dust today than I care to. It's a wonder I can still breathe!

My daughter has been experiencing some nasty health problems due to an increased dosage of anti-depressant medications. She spent a few hours in an ER just after Thanksgiving with chest pain, irregular/rapid heartbeat, and elevated blood pressure. (She thought she was having a heart attack. Tests showed that she hadn't.) As a result, she dropped the meds, cold turkey, and that has created another set of symptoms due to withdrawal. She is still under a doctor's care, but the whole thing has frightened her. She has asked for prayer. If you are reading this and believe in the power of prayer, please send your pleas to the Amighty for her recovery. Even "helpful" drugs have side effects! I just want her home so mommy can take care of her! Just a few more days...

Friday, December 17, 2010

Yet Another Day

I did do some work today, but not nearly enough! When my family arrives next weekend, they will have to take pot luck. They will be well-fed....

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas Party

My radio club (Hendricks County Amateur Radio Society--HCARS) had its annual Christmas dinner meeting and election of officers for 2011 tonight. I thought I would look festive in my navy blue sweatshirt with the sparklies around the neck. The last time I wore it was to my sister's birthday dinner. She had given me a nifty pair of earrings that looked nice with it, so that was my attire selection for the evening tonight. Note to self: the next time I have a crab leg dinner, I need to pre-treat the butter spots on my front before washing the garment. I went to put the sweatshirt on tonight and noticed all the lovely little grease spots that didn't come out in the normal laundry routine. Wardrobe malfunction! Had to change my selection in a hurry...so I wore my red sweatshirt with the pretty embroidered cardinal on a black applique'. (I think I must have the nicest collection of sweatshirts in Hendricks County. Sweatshirt chic!)

I am now...once again...the secretary of HCARS for 2011. The whole slate of officers was unopposed. No one wants the jobs!

The party was pleasant. It's nice to visit with spouses and families when we don't have an agenda. Just food and chatter. Thanks to those worked to make it a special occasion!

We are due for another winter storm tonight. It hasn't started yet. I'm hoping we get off light, but I'm not so sure. This storm is coming up from the south. For once, people north of Indy won't get as much precip as we do...and Bloomington could get as much as seven inches. We'll see!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas Shopping

Would that I were inspired! As it is, I am out shopping for "things". I'm pretty sure that my grandchildren don't believe in Santa anymore, just from some things they've said, but there is still magic in the holiday. All I want is some happy memories and good times. The rest is immaterial.

I went out shopping today to augment what Megan and hubby are giving the children for Christmas. Robin (my granddaughter) is getting tough to buy for. I'm not around her enough to know what she wants. Ryan is a little easier because he wants everything! I will be drawing it all to a close before too long, declaring it DONE even if I'm not satisfied.

More weather due in tomorrow evening...hopefully AFTER my radio club's party in Danville, IN. Just have to keep my eyes on the skies.

Love ya!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

SOS, and Other Delights of my Childhood

My mommy was a cham-peen at making a buck stretch when it came to snacks and dinner time. She would buy organ meats and try to pass it off. "That's beef. You eat it." I was often suspicious. Liver and onions was a favorite. I could tell that, of course...but sometimes there would be beef tongue or kidney (the latter of which was obvious by the smell of urine being boiled out of the meat), etc. I wasn't required to eat the nastiest ones, but sometimes, my mother's creations were delectable.

In order to make things stretch, she would feed us SOS--"'stuff" on a shingle"--which was hamburger gravy on toast. (The equivalent of biscuits and gravy...only better.) My personal favorite was creamed eggs on toast. Hard boiled eggs in white sauce over toast. (My daugter and grandchildren love that, too. Do other families eat it??)

Mom also fixed cinnamon toast in the broiler--bread encrusted with butter, sugar, and cinnamon. Yum!

But here's one I'll bet you never heard of: crackers and milk. Need a little something? Just break up some saltine crackers in a bowl and add milk. I don't have it often, but sometimes--when there's nothing else to eat--it works!

There was nothing my mother wouldn't eat. Nothing! Even my father, who was meat-deprived as a child, couldn't match her willingness to ingest things that the rest of society thought was awful. I just grew up as her child...and happy to be so!

God bless you, Mom! I just had two bowls of crackers and milk. Made me think of you!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Bring It On!

This morning, I decided I had better take advantage of the last few hours of decent weather in order to get ready for the coming storm. I did a load of dishes, checked into the SATERN net on 40 meters, took a quick run to the grocery store for a few little things, dug out the snow shovel, put fall decorations in the minibarn...then figured I should go to AutoZone for new windshield wiper blades.

Got the blades. I even tipped the gal $5 for putting them on for me. (I wasn't the only one getting new blades, BTW. Seemed like everyone was!) As I was pulling out of the parking lot, I noticed that the blade on the passenger side wasn't even touching the windshield, in places. Maybe it just needs a little tweaking, I thought to myself. I'll check it when I get home and return it tomorrow, if it isn't right. Well...it WASN'T right. It was defective, obviously bent. Then my feeble brain began to wonder what I was thinking about taking it back tomorrow. Tomorrow? Tomorrow when it will be cold, blowing 40 mph winds, and snowing? I don't think so! Thus, I got back in the car and drove back to AutoZone where they promptly gave me a replacement blade. All of this before lunchtime. Now I am ready for a nap. Let it snow!

Big Mistake!

I got an "I-beg-your-pardon" email from a good friend of mine who reminded me that HE had aired up the spare tire in my car in the past. Oops! Sorry, Mike. No slight intended. I'm OLD, you know??

Need to get my rear in gear before the rain hits today (which will turn to snow). I have some fall decorations that need to be in the minibarn. Doesn't sound like a big deal, now does it? Unfortunately, I tend to put off trips to the minibarn. I'm running out of room in there. Should have reorganized in there when I had the weather to do it. (Coulda/woulda/shoulda.)

I still have Christmas shopping to do, but I am getting some accomplished. That's progress!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Another Day

Got back from Illinois late on Wednesday afternoon without problems. The worst part of the entire trip is the ten miles from Brownsburg to Plainfield on 2-lane roads at rush hour. Yuck!

Yesterday, I had a church errand to run, plus some shopping. I also cleaned out the refrigerator--a task that needs to be done more often than it is. Boring!

I had a great time at my sister's. Shari and Roger live in a lovely house in the country outside of Springfield, IL. It's warm and inviting, well-decorated for the holidays, and generally a very comfortable place to be. Most of the time when I visit, I sit around on my big fat you-know-what and eat too much. This trip was a little more productive. We ate out some, shopped some, and celebrated Shari's birthday on the 7th. (More about that in a bit.) Had a meeting with my nieces about a 50th anniversary party we are planning for the spring for my sister and bro-in-law.

The biggest deal for me, however, was taking advantage of their big, heated garage in order to clean out my car. I took out half a garbage bag of crap from the back seat (thank you, grandchildren!), used Roger's big shop vac to clean up the crumbs, dead leaves, etc., from the trunk and interior surfaces. I was asking Roger to help me check the car fuses because I noticed just last week that my rear window defroster wasn't working. Roger figured out in short order that one of the wires to the window coils was unattached. (Methinks that is also probably due to my grandchildren's antics in the back seat last summer.) Thankfully, Roger was able to get the wire soldered back on...and voila! The dead came to life again! He also used his air compressor to air up all of my tires--including the spare "donut" that hadn't been aired for the entire time I've owned the car. (It was supposed to have 60 psi of air in it. It had 21.) I'm not sure that either Shari or Roger know or appreciate what an enormous relief that all was for me, or how much more inconvenient it would have been to try to get it all done without a garage or the tools and expertise needed to accomplish all of that. I got a little weepy about it, actually. Just taking care of those things alone is burdensome, sometimes.

For Shari's birthday, she had requested a Manhattan and a lobster dinner, so we joined two other couples and our cousin for dinner at a seafood restaurant called Chesapeake...or something like that. (It's one of those places that lists a lobster dinner at "market price." If you have to ask how much it is, you can't afford it!) Well...I like lobster, but I LOVE crab legs, so I ordered their snow crab dinner, advertised as a pound-and-a-half. That, plus a salad and a baked potato. When the plate arrived, I couldn't believe it. The order was HUGE! The legs were big and full of meat. Poor me! I was the last one done and didn't even get to the baked potato. Never had a crab leg feast quite like that one!

I came home feeling a little guilty that I got more out of my trip to Springfield than either my sister or brother-in-law did--and it was HER birthday!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Hi, Honey. I'm Home!

I'll keep this brief for another time when I have more time and energy.
I am home from Illinois. Had a great time at my sister's. We packed a lot into a relatively short time. The best thing was that I was able to help her celebrate her 69th birthday. She looks no different than she did 10 years ago. Still has her energy and drive. She is my OLDER sister, but I look like the older one. Not fair!!

I will report more later. I'm pooped!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Preparations

Yesterday, I went to Goodwill (senior discount day) to look for play clothes for the grandchildren to wear when they are here. When I took the kids home to their new place in Zion, IL, last August, all of their remaining summer-weight clothing went with them. (The silly kids just keep growing in spite of my admonitions that they STOP.) For several years when they lived with me, Megan and Nathan had an agreement to maintain clothing for the kids at both homes so packing wasn't necessary for weekend visits. Then, when the custody changed, their presence here wasn't as often...and now that they have moved to IL, I see them even less often. However, the winter-weight clothing in their closets here is outgrown. Robin sees nothing wrong with grabbing ill-fitting and mis-matched clothes to put on in a hurry. And I still need to keep outfits that they can wear to church, etc. I have always kept underwear, socks, pajamas, and at least one pair of church shoes here...and one church outfit. Now, I need to replace at least some of the play clothes (and get rid of the stuff they've outgrown). Whew! All of that by way of explanation of why I went to Goodwill!

Anyway, I came home with just a few things that looked decent and would fit. I spent a whopping $10 on it all. Went thru Ryan's dresser and closet today to move out everything that won't fit. (I have a grand-niece with three young boys. His clothes should fit SOMEBODY.) Will have to work on Robin's later. At least their stepmother won't have to pack much when they come at Christmas.

I prepare to hit the road for Illinois. Hope my sister and bro-in-law can stand to have me around for five days!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Only So Many Perfect Gifts...

If I had all of the money I wanted to spend at Christmas, I wouldn't have any trouble coming up with "perfect" gifts for my loved ones. As it is, my funds are severely limited, so I have to pick and choose what to get. There have only been a very few times when I had brainstorms that turned into perfect Christmas gifts.

The first time was when I was in college (1968?). My mother had expressed interest in Andrew Wyeth's painting "Christina's World" because it reminded her of her childhood on the farm. I was waltzing through an art store in Bloomington, IL, and saw a copy of the painting. Bingo! I'll get that for Mom! I ordered it. Dad could make a frame! Unfortunately, I wasn't aware that the art store would have to "prepare" it...and the cost was a whopping $24. (Doesn't sound like much by today's standards, but back then, it was a LOT for a college student.) I had the print in my hands, all wrapped in brown paper, for Thanksgiving weekend, to hand over to Dad for the frame. When my mother came to pick me up from Illinois State University to take me to my grandparent's farm for the weekend, we packed the car...then stopped in El Paso, IL, for a bite to eat. That's when I began to think about the picture. I couldn't remember putting it in the car. A quick check of the trunk turned up empty. No picture. I remembered putting it on the roof of the car as we were packing...and my heart sank. What to do? I told my mother that we had to go back to Normal...to retrace our route. Told her that it was a poster for a class that I had worked hard on and desperately needed. God bless her...we did go back to backtrack over where we had been...and found the silly picture in the middle of the road on College Avenue. A corner of it had been run over, but it was otherwise intact! I don't know if my mother ever understood how panicked I was that evening...if Dad ever told her before she opened her present on Christmas Day...but I was scared to death that my $24 investment had been lost. Whew!

The second "perfect gift" occurred when my daughter was living on Friendswood Golf Course and was pregnant with my granddaughter. I gave her and her husband FRS radios so that she could be in touch with him when he was on the course. Unfortunately, you have to have the FRS with you and turned on in order for it to work...which Nathan often didn't. A couple of years later, as an afterthought, I picked up a Tracfone for Megan fo Christmas. (Cell phones were just becoming popular.) A few months later, when they moved to Muncie, the stupid phone became extremely valuable in their ability to coordinate the move. It was a start...

The last brainstorm gift occurred just last Christmas. Megan and Denis were about to leave for California, permanently. I barely knew him and didn't really know what to give her. Money, of course...but what else? I saw a Walmart ad for GPS systems on sale. GPS! Perfect! They were about to embark on a cross-country trip and could probably use one! I bought the silly thing and they have used the daylights out of it. In fact, Denis had it set up in Meg's minivan before the Christmas event was over, and both of them had figured out how to use it. (It would have taken me a whole lot longer!) The GPS is named "Linda"...and she provides an authoritative voice in the vehicle. "Recalculating!"

We had a dusting of snow in Plainfield this morning, but apparently there was more in Indy, causing all kinds of problems on the roads. Winter weather, folks. Time to slow down and remember how to drive in the slick stuff!

Will be leaving for IL in the next couple of days. My neighbors and the police will keep an eye on the place for me while I'm gone. I do look forward to being with my blood family. Shari, if you are reading this, let's eat light. I'm gaining weight too fast!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Heh heh

My last post failed. I hit a button before I even got started writing...and found that I had "published" nothing! Couldn't get back to it because my grandson was hogging my computer at the time.

I got the children safely delivered to their father yesterday evening. The meeting place is in Gary, IN (the Armpit of the Midwest). Meeting them there keeps me out of Chicago traffic...and even though it is an almost-three-hour trip to Gary, I am MOST grateful not to have to brave the construction and congestion of the Interstate 80/90/94 fiascos. As it was, post-Thanksgiving traffic was pretty horrific--bumper-to-bumper most of the way north, and only slightly better on the way south. I/We drove past two dead deer, two dead dogs, three accidents (one of which kept traffic moving at 5 mph or less for 30 minutes), and two flat tires. (The second flat was a blowout that happened right in front of me. It is to the driver's credit that he was immediately aware of the problem and maneuvered across three lanes of traffic at fairly high speeds and onto the shoulder without a hitch. Whew!) Adventures in holiday travel! Thank God, the day was clear and the roads were dry. It could have been a lot worse.

The children and I had a good time together. We had our Thanksgiving feast with the other grandparents. The kids played with the neighbor children, of course. Robin and I baked. (She likes to cook.) We watched movies on TV and ate popcorn. Ryan played Spore on my computer. We put up the Christmas tree and hung stockings. Robin and the neighbor girl went to Grandma Judy's to play with the fairy treehouse. We took a ring to a jeweler to have it resized to fit Robin. We went to church and Sunday School, then had the other grandparents over for lunch afterward. We didn't do anything particularly special, but when they are here, it's ALL special! Except for the first night when we didn't get back to Plainfield until 2:00 AM, we weren't up late any evening, and no one seemed to be too tired to have fun. We also did some hugging and snuggling. That's the very best part!

So now it's back to boring old life as usual. Will be preparing to drive to my sister's a little later in the week. Hope the weather cooperates.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Snubbed!

Got up this morning to the sound of the garbage truck just down the street. Oops! It's garbage day! Out I dashed in the freezing cold in my bathrobe to take the trash can to the curb. The truck was just two doors down on my side of the street, coming my way. My neighbor's trash was still out, so I knew I had beat the clock. Whew! Just in time! Just as I came in, my granddaughter was up and gave me a big morning hug. We puttered around. Eventually, I opened the blinds to see that my garbage can was tipped over toward the street, and the lid was IN the street...so I knew I was going to have to go out there when I got dressed to pick it up. Then there was a mysterious email from my neighbor across the street, telling me when the garbage truck had come by... I figured that was his subtle way of telling me to go pick up my empty can and lid, so I did...except the can wasn't empty! Huh? What's up with that? The garbage dude totally took my neighbor's garbage and drove right on by mine. Snubbed by Ray's Trash Service!! (The truck was so close when I took the can to the curb that the dude had to have seen me in all my glory. I'll bet if I were some sweet young thing taking the trash out in a bikini, no one would have given a thought to passing up my gar-bauge!) Humph! I've been "dissed" by better men than he!

The children are having a good time, playing. Tomorrow will be errand day...but for today, they are just kids. I have spent some of my day rearranging things to make room for Christmas tree and decorations. I want the children to help me decorate the tree while they are here. That has always been a family activity in my house...and without family to do it, it just isn't much fun.

I have an Advent wreath for the table this year. Found it in a Christian gift store in town for 75% off last Easter. I've always wanted one of the silly things. Now I have one!

More later. The day is yet young.

Turkey Day

Once upon a time, my daughter came home from Girl Scouts or something with notice of the Thanksgiving tradition of the five grains of corn. At our feast today, we did that. Robin put five kernels of popcorn (we didn't have REAL corn) on every plate. I read a little story of the tradition--that the pilgrims had only five grains of corn to live on for days--and then we went around the table with each person telling five things for which they were thankful, putting their corn kernels in a little cup. The adults were predictable. We waxed loquatious about each thing. When it was Ryan's turn he was a man of few words: family, friends, health, shelter, food. Period! Robin came just before him and expressed thanks, among other things, that there were grandparents who were kind enough to give presents (she's not stupid!). Grandma Judy's turn was the last. She turned her thankfulness into a prayer that was our food blessing. This wasn't orchestrated. It just happened!

The food was good; the fellowship better. We ate well and came home a couple of hours later quite full. The children played with their friends for a bit and got to talk to their mother/stepfather on Skype from Utah. We watched a movie, ate popcorn and ice cream cones, played Yahtzee, played Spore and Webkinz on the computers. We have 2 1/2 more days to be together until Christmas. We will make the best of our time! When the children are here, it is as if nothing had changed. They are better behaved, perhaps, but still my babies!

God is good.
The day after Thanksgiving in 1986 was the day my mother passed away, suddenly. The day used to be tainted by that. I no longer think about that horrible time.

I am so thankful for all of you!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

I woke up this morning to tornado warnings in Indiana? Huh? It's November, for Pete's sake!

I had a rather sudden change of plans this week. Instead of going to my sister's in Illinois for the holiday, I was persuaded by circumstances to stay home and visit with my grandchildren. It's a long story which I will spare you. Suffice it to say that I had to beg off from Illinois and change directions here.

Originally, I was to meet the children's stepmother in Gary on Wednesday evening for the kid trade; however, she called me to say that her "ex" was driving the whole distance to pick up their daughter on Tuesday night...and would bring my grandchildren with them to Lafayette where I could meet them at about 9:00 PM. That was going to save me a couple of hours of drive time. (I hadn't been aware that the children got Wednesday off from school.) In any case, he got snarled in Chicago traffic for about an hour-and-a-half going up and didn't call me to say he was on the interstate in Indiana for the trip back until almost 10:00 PM. I left for Lafayette. Couldn't find the road to their house. After a couple of calls, I stopped in a Steak and Shake parking lot, and they decided to come to me. (Guess I was close...but not close enough!) Anyway, the children and I were back in Plainfield by 2:00 AM. I'm glad we did our traveling on Tuesday. Wednesday turned out to be a nasty weather day.

It feels so good to have the children here! Yesterday, they were up fairly early, watching the clock to determine when their friends would be home from school. Ryan played Spore on my computer while Robin and I made pecan tassies. (Robin loves to cook. Since pecan tassies [little pecan pies] are somewhat labor-intensive, it was good to have the help. She did a great job forming the little pie shells!) The day went smoothly, and the instant the neighbor kids came home, it was play time! The neighbor and I conspired that when it was supper time, play time would be over. She needed to get ready for Thanksigiving at her house...and although I had the children here to play, they tend to migrate back and forth. In the evening, we watched a Harry Potter movie on TV and ate popcorn...then off to bed. (Well...the kids watched the movie. Grandma dozed!)

Our Thanksgiving feast is a cooperative effort with the children's other grandparents here in Plainfield. I supplied the turkey, but Judy is cooking it...plus stuffing, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie. I'm bringing the pecan tassies, mashed potatoes, corn casserole, and deviled eggs. What started out to be just a small celebration has grown over the past couple of days. I don't think we'll have to send out for pizza!

Megan and Denis are making a road trip to Zion National Park in Utah for their long weekend. Megan will call the children if she has cell service there. Robin was asking if she'd be able to talk to Mommy on Skype. We'll work on that!

I wish my family in Illinois the very best of blessings this day. (I love you, Shari. I'll be there next week!) To my friends, I am so thankful for you! May the day bring you joy and warm family times. To my daughter and son-in-law, I love you. Take care in your travels! Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A Fly

One single fly found its way into my house yesterday, and although it had the entire house to play around in, it chose to buzz me all night. (Guess I need to take a bath??) The silly thing has gone to insect heaven, thanks to my still-okay refexes as of fairly early this morning. But he still irritated the daylights out of me!

I've had a somewhat busy day. A radio friend came over in the morning to help me rake the leaves in the fenced-in back yard, and haul them to the curb. If I'd had to do it alone, it wouldn't have been done. With his assistance, we had it knocked down in about an hour.

A bit later, I drove to my former school to help with the radio club there...then went to Aldi's for a few things... Got some Christmas things out of the minibarn, hoping that the grandchildren will help me put things up this weekend. Glad I did. The rain hit a bit later...lightning and thunder...things we haven't had for a LONG time.

The news from the north is that I am to get the grandchildren TOMORROW night, a full day before expected! The house isn't ready, but I am!

Bedtime. Have big-time cleaning to do tomorrow!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Good News and Bad News

The good news is that my grandchildren will be here for Thanksgiving.
The bad news is that I have had to cancel my plans to be with my sister in order for this to happen.

The good news is that my Social Security benefit has been upped by a few dollars, retroactive to 2009 income.
The bad news is that my house payment has gone up by $130...a lot more than my SS increase.

The good news is that I am still alive.
The bad news is that I am quite depressed. I'll figure it out. I have contacts for help.

The good news is that I have a family who loves me, no matter what. There is no bad news in that!

Friday, November 19, 2010

I am the victim.

I am the victim.

I am the walrus, koo-koo-ka-joob!



If you aren't a Beatles fan, you might not understand the reference.



It appears that now my feelings and perceptions relating to my grandchildren are now negated by my "wish" to be a martyr/victim. It's amusing, actually. If I express anger, I'm being dramatic. If I express hurt, I'm being a martyr/victim. The only emotions I am allowed to express are happiness and satisfaction, even if I'm not happy or satisfied. Interesting how that works. The worst part of this is that it comes from my daughter...the one person to whom I have given the most unconditional support and love. Oh, there I go being a victim again!

Whatever!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Fountain is Found!

I love the Internet! Things that once would have taken months to determine have been determined in less than two days!

My daughter launched an inquiry about the fountain picture that shows my great-great-grandparents sitting around it. (I spent many hours trying to locate an email address to contact folks. She managed to. Makes me so mad!!) She received a reply that the "sculpture" fountain is in storage at the Veteran's Home in King, Wisconsin. It was damaged but is repairable.

So...I might not get to sit on the lip of the fountain where my great-great-grandparents sat, but at least I know where it was and that it still exists. I've been trying to post a link to the picture, but it isn't working.

Genealogy R Us

I have long been fascinated by the story of my maternal great-great-grandparents. He was a Civil War soldier. She was a housewife and mother of eight. He came home after the war, re-upped as a veteran volunteer for another year, then came home again. A few months later, he left town (Peoria, IL) looking for work. Awhile after that, he left for the Dakota Territory (frontier back then), supposedly to herd cattle. He wrote to her saying he would be home on July, 4, 1867...and she never heard from him again. She wrote letters and advertised in newspapers in South Dakota, to no avail. A man from there showed up on her doorstep with some of her husband's things, saying that he had been with her husband when he was shot and killed by Indians. The man said he had helped to bury him. Then the guy took off with no further contact.

She did her best to finish raising her family without a skill. Times were hard. Eventually, she ended up living with her youngest daughter in Wisconsin. Toward the turn of the century, the government passed a bill that allowed widows of war veterans to receive a pension, so she applied. Since she could not prove that her husband was dead, the Bureau of Pensions appointed a Special Examiner to look into her case. It was now at least 30 years after the Civil War. Relatives and friends were called in to give depositions to determine if anyone knew of any reason that he would abandon her, and inquiries were written to the Dakota Territory to see if anyone had any information about her husband's untimely demise. (The depositions--all in the Archives of the Pension Bureau, and now in the clutches of the family, all provide insight into the personal lives of David and Bethsheba McKinney!) In short, there were some cloudy issues surrounding about some letters that he had supposedly received from some woman in Ohio, the fact that Bethsheba was a "strong minded" woman, etc., but no one had any reason to believe that he would just take off. Nor was there any evidence that he was actually dead.

As far as I can figure, the inquiries went on for at least six years. Finally, somehow, it was determined that hubby was alive and collecting his own pension in Grant's Pass, Oregon. The Wisconsin daughter was dispatched to Oregon to bring the now-old man home, and his wife and family took him back. They lived out the end of their lives in a home for indigent veterans and spouses in King, Wisconsin. In connecting with another faction of the family, I have pictures. All evidence indicates that Great-Great-Grandpa did, indeed, abandon his family!!!!

With that as background, I should say that my own research into this story has been going on for over 35 years. Before the Internet and PCs, I was relegated to obtaining what information I could at the mercy of genealogists via snail mail. I had already accessed records at the National Archives with no knowledge that there were well over 200 pages of documents at the Bureau of Pensions. So many more things have been available via the Internet!

One of the pictures that I have is of my great-great-grandparents in their old age, sitting on the lip of a very distinctive fountain somewhere. He is in his Civil War uniform; she is wearing a very Victorian dowager's black dress and hat. The fountain is quite unique. I would love to find it and sit on the edge, as they did! I fear it no longer exists but am not sure, at this point. Megan--my seasoned genealogist daughter--started looking for it. We don't have any definitive answers yet. It did prompt Meg to start a website to help us sort out information, which launched me into renewed interest to transcribe documents that we have. It absolutely absorbs me!

Why am I writing about this? Because it explains my total waste of time for the last two days! It takes me away from the mess and the depression and the hurt for a few hours. I most likely will never have all of the story of my g-g-grandparents' lives, but the search is fascinating. It explains so much about my grandmother--a person whom I adored. (That's a whole different fascinating story!)

I will not survive long enough to have great-grandchildren. I started my family too late for that. There will be no military records in the National Archives to testify to my existence. Census records no longer contain information that is helpful to descendants wishing to know more about their ancestors. My tombstone, if there is one, will only bear witness to the day I was born and the day I died. (We still haven't put one up for my brother...) What a life of love, learning, caring, sharing, successes, failures, struggles, dreams, and disappointments comes between those two dates! I will continue to write my memoirs, hoping to know what is too much information and what is okay for my descendants to know. Our stories only last one generation....maybe. I have no clue how I will be remembered. My daughter (my only child) is still angry that I kicked her out of the house when she gave up her children. My grandchildren (the loves of my life) probably don't understand anything that happened to them. Maybe it's best that we don't get it!

A few years ago, I stood at the grave of Joseph Armstrong in Pennsylvania--a man I thought to be a great+something grandparent--and told him that I hoped he was proud of his family because we turned out pretty well. (Found out later that he was merely a great+something uncle.) Still, the sentiment was the same.

Now, I need to figure out how to get all of my housework done. Getting through the genealogy stuff is consuming!!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Things Go On...

Wish I had a lot of things to report. I just don't. Prince William is engaged. IMPD has a lot of problems. My leaves aren't raked or gutter cleaned out. In a hundred years, who will care??

I got up early this morning and stripped my bed in order to wash linen (in order to get rid of horrible skin scales that come off my legs all night). Then I started making a stir-fry and did other things...then remembered (too late) a luncheon at church. Ack! I'm sure they didn't miss me. I just hate when I space stuff like that...

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Another Beautiful Day

Today represents the last of a string of 70+-degree days. I should have been out raking, but I chose to do radio club business, instead. Probably a bad choice.

I spent a big chunk of the day writing and emailing the minutes of my radio club's last two months' meetings, answering lengthy emails about SATERN at Dayton, answering lengthy emails about radio club business, etc. I sent out email announcements about the club's Christmas party to those who generally miss meetings and nets. I set up a notebook for the club since I am secretary again...blah, blah. When I was done with all of that and ready to go out to rake, it was time for Dr. Phil! Then there was a worthy Oprah show...and then it was time to get ready to go to my friend Phyllis's house for a hen party with other teacher friends. So went the day!!

I know the Dr. Phil thing probably amuses some. I used to make fun of housewives who watched soap operas every day. The television is constantly on in my house for company. The only noise from the TV that I look forward to all day is the Dr. Phil Show because it keeps my brain alive. My house would be very lonely, indeed, were it not for the television noise!

Yesterday, I took off my jewelry and soaked it in detergent overnight. Wow! What a difference! Earrings look really nice when not covered with hair spray, eh?

Saturday...today now...is my grandson's 7th birthday. It kills me that I cannot celebrate the day with my little man. May God bless him on the anniversary of his birth, and always!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Veteran's Day

I won't bother to post about how proud I am to have been part of a military family that served during WWII and Korea (my father, uncle, and aunt) and Vietnam (my brother). I've done all of that before on this blog. I'll simply say that they were in my heart today.

People who aren't part of the military life probably don't "get it". My father was a college graduate, thanks to his football scholarship--the only one in his family of nine siblings to even graduate from high school. He married my mother and became a teacher and coach. Then, on the day of his first child's birth, Pearl Harbor happened. Thereafter, he took a commission in the Navy Reserve, and my childhood was set in stone by the government. It was a tough life...something I never really understood because my mother made sure we didn't suffer from instability or lack of love. Our constant moving had to have been hard on her. I didn't know until many years later how hard it was on me. I had a happy childhood. Still, my father went to work in a uniform. I was always so proud of that. I loved it that sailors on the streets of San Francisco would cross the street just so they wouldn't have to pause and salute as we passed by. Wow! People saluted my dad!! We were so steeped in military tradition and protocol that others didn't get that I felt special. My blood runs red, white, and blue.

Today, I posed as a Doughnut Girl for The Salvation Army at a luncheon to honor Duke Energy's veterans. Grandma Judy (my grandchildren's other grandma) and I showed up in WWI costumes. The Doughnut Girls were "lassies" that were sent to France in 1917 to boost the morale of American soldiers who had endured 35 days of continuous rain in the trenches. It was an honor. The strangest thing for me was that the "man of the hour" was someone I had just met in worship on Sunday--an 83-year-old man who was a 3-year prisoner of war in Germany during WWII...who had entered my otherwise empty pew to worship next to me last Sunday! It was a nice day.

After I got home, I went out to work on the leaves in the yard, but only managed to get three sheet-loads of leaves to the curb. I need help. I just don't have the desire! There are three young men moving into a rental home two doors down. Maybe they will help?? We'll see!

On Oprah today, Marie Osmond spent most of the interview weeping about her son who committed suicide last winter. It was an emotional interview, which I understood...but then, in tribute to him at the end of the show, she sang "Pie Jesu" from "Requiem." OMG! She sang in a pure, classical operatic voice. I had goose-bumps and tears! That doesn't happen often with me. It was a moment of humble joy! Hope you heard it!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Never-Ending Job...

Leaves, leaves, and more leaves. Raking time! Since the weather has been so lovely the past couple of days, with at least two more nice ones to come, I have tackled the annual leaf-raking project EVEN THOUGH all the leaves aren't down yet. My back yard is all fenced in, which requires hauling the leaves to the curb with a sheet. It's a pain if I have to do it all by myself--which I do. Thankfully, the back yard isn't all that big. I'll git 'er done!

Last evening, I was invited to dinner at the home of a couple that leads my Sunday School class. They are interesting people, and I did so enjoy visiting with them. Learning new things about new people is a blessing. They have a whole room in their house dedicated to a manger scene with village. It's HUGE! Lou--the wife--does pysanky art (Ukranian egg decorating), and Vern--the hubby (retired from Public Service Indiana)--has a Harley! Lou and Vern lost their only child to Ataxia Telangiectasia at age 12 back in 1985. (Never heard of it? Neither had I. It is extremely rare, yet two such sufferers attended our church!) Both Lou and Vern have the gift of being able to say just the right things to comfort someone who hurts. It was nice to share the personal side to folks I see every week.

My Social Security came through today, so I headed out to purchase my grandson's birthday presents and get them in the mail for a Saturday delivery. I knew what I wanted. That always helps! I went to Walmart and had just approached a game stand when two managerish-looking guys asked me if I was finding everything okay. I told them what I wanted. They launched into action. They had one item, no problem. The other item, they couldn't find although the computer said they had it. They called the Avon Walmart to see if they had it, determined that they did, and informed me that it would be waiting for me when I got there...and it was! The manager guys shook my hand, wished me Happy Holidays, and disappeared into the sunset. I have NEVER had such wonderful service from Walmart--at either store! Something is afoot, but I like it!

Returning home, I found a box to pack the gifts in, got them wrapped and to the post office before the 1:00 PM collection time. They have been promised for Friday. Since Ryan's birthday isn't until Saturday, even if the gifts are a day late, they'll still get there on time. It kills me to miss the little guy's birthday, but I have to learn to suck these things up. If I had not been brought so heavily into my grandchildren's lives since Day One, maybe I would have a different perspective. Unfortunately, it's still hard to give up control. I haven't seen them since mid-October, with no promise until Christmas. It hurts them and me.

Life goes on. I will be a Salvation Army Doughnut Girl for Veteran's Day tomorrow. Should be fun...although not attractive. (I don't look good in a battle helmet!) Hope the press won't be there!

Love ya!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Jewelry Box Project

Okay...so, a couple of weeks ago, I dragged my big jewelry box and some little auxiliary boxes to the kitchen table to clean and organize--something I haven't done in years. Guess what? It's all still spread out on the kitchen table because I can't decide what to do with stuff! I have a collection of Siam Silver jewelry that was my mother's. The bracelet is broken. I probably could have it fixed in order to wear it, but I don't know if getting it fixed would cost more than the piece is worth. Likewise, my grandmother's cameo broach with a missing stone. I have the mother-of-pearl beads from a broken strand that was also my mother's. I probably wouldn't wear it if I had it strung professionally, but the beads are too good to throw away. You get the picture. This is the problem with all of my efforts to clean and organize. I get too wrapped up in each item and then don't know what to do with it. I have a box in my closet filled with knick-knacks that don't have a place in the house anymore, but I hate to give them up. Arrggghhh! I have promised myself that I will reclaim the kitchen table before the weekend is over. We'll see!

I have the same problem with other things. For instance, I got the brainstorm today that I should crochet a vest for my granddaughter for Christmas. I used to have a pattern...hmmm...where is it? Oh yes...it's in the BIG stack of knit/crochet pattern books that I bought when Megan was a little girl...the stack that takes up space in my bedroom. I went through all of those books, so outdated. (Made myself sneeze from the dust!) I found the vest pattern, but a big corner is torn from it that would make following the pattern impossible. I just need to donate all of those books--and pitch the patterns that I used to tear out of magazines. That would free up a portion of one shelf in my bedroom. So many more to go!

I got to working on cobwebs in my bedroom today, starting with the dust on the ceiling fan blades. It's no wonder I cough all night! There must be a bazillion dust mites in my room, from dust and the skin cells that flake off my legs when I sleep. Oh...and I organized my recipe drawer yesterday. There were unused recipes in there from my first marriage in 1969! Pitch, pitch, pitch... I guess I am trying to make myself sound productive, when (in actuality) I haven't been. The price of depression is high...

My daughter's computer is down. She and Denis have spent the better part of two weeks trying to fix it. She was able to get the hard drive into another machine in order to back up her files, but she isn't happy...and I don't blame her. She has some pricey software on there that she got through IUPUI that can only be replaced with thousands of dollars...not to mention all the work she has put into genealogy sites, etc. I hope they can get it fixed. (Denis works for Microsoft in Silicon Valley. He has resources.)

I'm still hoping to hear SOMETHING from my grandchildren's family about little Ryan's birthday next weekend. They drove home to the north Chicago area yesterday from a funeral in Cleveland, through a snowstorm in South Bend yesterday. Since I haven't heard any bad news, I assume they got home safely, but it probably wasn't fun...

The month is moving along fast. Soon it will be Thanksgiving. I will be trekking to Illinois to be with my sister and her family, since I can't be there at Christmas. Going back to Eastern Standard Time tonight. Turn your clocks back! At least I won't be late to church. (I'm up half the night anyway, so no problem!)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Friends and Politics

I'm going back a few days here...
Some of my very dearest friends are conservatives, politically. A couple of them got really obnoxious on election night trying to rub liberal noses in their conservative victories on Facebook. I am not a Democrat. I am independent, voting Republican when I think that the candidate has something to offer that meets my criteria on MY issues...but overall, I am a liberal thinker...and I became really offended by their personal attacks. One of my favorites is, "Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat". Yeah...HAHAHAH...funny. Funny, perhaps, but also discriminatory. And nasty. And personal. A year or two ago, one of my best friends in life accused me of voting for Obama because he was a black man. In that moment, I realized that the friend and I didn't really know each other. In short, on election night, I became incensed by the rhetoric and attempted to expose the hypocricy of one "friend"...who quickly sent me endless emails telling me to stop because he didn't want anyone to know. Huh???? If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen! What bothered me the most from this was that I was totally out of control. I couldn't have cared less who won the elections. I just hated the "hate" rhetoric that was showing up online. I am convinced that liberal thinkers and conservative thinkers are wired differently...like men and women. Ugh!

Today, I went to lunch with my bestest friend in all the world...a sister who isn't my sister. Phyllis and I taught together way back when I was first hired in the Monrovia district. She single-handedly got me through my divorce...and even though we haven't stayed physically close through the years, every time we meet, it is like we were never apart. Phyl and I are unlike in a lot of ways...but when we are together, we are totally in synch. She is obsessive/compulsive about her surroundings. I am a sloth about mine. Still, we get along. Lunch today was a shot in the arm for me! I love you, Phyllis!

My grandchildren are in Cleveland for their step-great-grandmother's funeral. They are heading for home tomorrow. Wish they would head for home via Indiana and leave my grandchildren here for the weekend. I can't even ask..

My church has an Angel Tree project which is based on incarcerated parents requesting Christmas presents for their kids in absentia. I volunteered to call a number of caregivers to determine what the kids need. It has been a real education for me! Glad I started early. Catching people at home and/or getting to know their individual needs gets tricky... One family is a third-year recipient of the Angel Tree project, but complained that "nothing they sent last year fit nobody." I explained that everything that was purchased came directly from the sizes they were given on the phone...but I'm not sure anyone was listening.

I keep my head up and hope for the best. You should, too!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Okay...So I Voted

Went to the polling place just before lunch. No waiting. My neighbor from across the street is always an election official. (Her job is to check photo IDs which are required in Indiana.) Just underneath my name on the signature line was Megan's. She votes in California now--a world of its own, based on things she has told me. Guess her registration won't expire here for eight years. Two election cycles...according to my neighbor.
I was a little disturbed to find out that virtually every county position that was open here had Republican candidates that were unopposed. Welcome to conservative Indiana!

It's plenty early to be worrying about Christmas, but I have to spread things out. My immediate family will be here. I love that. Wish I had more room, but we'll have fun. I need to start cleaning NOW...but somehow, I lack initiative. It's not crunch time yet! I'll hate myself later...but for now, I'm still in planning stages. Wish me luck!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Plot Thickens...

I traded a couple of emails with my neighbors across the street today. They confirmed that we had more trick-or-treaters than usual, and also said that many of them were being carted in from other communities. (Cloverdale, Indy, Mooresville.) I put two and two together and figured out all by myself that Plainfield's having Halloween hours on the 30th instead of the 31st made us a target for those who wanted extra loot. Trick-or-treat on Saturday in Pfield...and in their own communities on Sunday. That's the trick! They got double treats! Hey...I'm no Halloween Scrooge. I didn't mind so much--just needed some plausible explanation for why, after 18 years in this neighborhood, I ran out of sweets!

It was supposed to be 66 degrees today. Certainly, it was sunny, but I don't think the thermometer ever registered as high as 60. They lied! I should have been out raking leaves, but (typical Sunday) I sat on my ample be-hind all day. The perspective is amusing, if you think about it. I sit on my be-hind nearly EVERY day. I just give myself PERMISSION to do it on Sunday!

Ever onward and upward. Looking toward the holidays... Talked to my grandchildren by phone yesterday. Both of them asked when they could come to my house. Guess I should work that out, huh?

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Ghosts of Halloweens Past

I realize this isn't Halloween. The real occasion is tomorrow, but Plainfield, in its infinite wisdom, has declared tonight as trick-or-treating night. Thus, I am reminded of Halloweens past.

To be perfectly honest, I don't remember all that much about my own trick-or treating days or the costumes I wore. I remember one year, before my brother was born, when my sister and I went out in our satin Chinese pajamas as costumes. (I think I only remember it because someone took a picture! Where was that, Shari? Hawaii? I was still pre-school age.) In those days, our parents could/would just turn us loose in the neighborhood...something almost unheard of these days. Oh, they were simpler times!

The very next Halloween that I remember was in 1953. Shari and I were sitting in the living room in our rented house in California watching our brand new black and white television--can't remember who was supervising us--when my father came home from the hospital and announced, loudly, "It's a BOY!" Floyd Douglas Covill--our brother Doug--was born on Halloween. He turned out to be quite a goblin! Sadly, Doug died suddenly at age 52, but I will always remember his birthday.

When I was in 1st grade, my father was assigned to be the commanding officer at the Navy Reserve Training Center in Danville, IL. New to the area, I remember my next Halloween experience. I was dressed as a pirate. Had on some kind of hat...cut off shorts...snow boots...and a patch over my eye. A local park (Douglas Park??) had some kind of contest. We were paraded across an outdoor stage...and I won some sort of prize! I remember being very surprised. I also remember being very cold!

As with stuffed stockings at Christmas, trick-or-treating had an expiration date with my parents. Once we reached a certain age, it was all over. Maybe around 10 or earlier. I don't remember. I also don't remember missing it--except for the Christmas stockings. I kind of liked the stocking deal, even though I knew that Santa was my parents. (I'm sorry if I just burst the bubble of my readers who are still Santa believers!) It was a rite of passage. I was no longer a baby and was expected to suck it up.

Fast forward to motherhood. My daughter was born in March of 1979. By October, she could barely even sit up on her own. Still, I put a little costume on her and sat her up by a pumpkin for a picture. Obviously, we didn't go trick-or-treating. My then-husband decided to go be with his other children...and I guess I don't blame him, except that I was then stuck at the house trying to answer the door with every knock AND try to take care of my baby. I was too stupid to turn off the lights and just let the roving kids go to another house because I was really into the occasion. I didn't want to be a Halloween Scrooge! Instead, I moved Meg's high chair near the front door so I could try to feed her and "treat" the neighborhood kids at the same time. I felt so alone at a time when I wanted OUR little family to be together. Understand that, at my daughter's age then, I couldn't even go to the bathroom in peace. Joe was never a help. I remember Megan's first Halloween because I felt so abandoned.

Halloweens thereafter consisted of coming up with homemade costumes. As a toddler, Meg was a clown. Later, she was a movie star, a Japanese woman, a witch...what else? When she was older and we were living in Pontiac, IL, her father would take her out "trick-or-drinking". It seems that everywhere he took her, he was invited in for a drink. Not sure how many treats she got back then, but he had a good time!

Flash forward again to Cloverdale, IN...1988. My husband was the principal at the jr-sr high school. We lived in town in a rented house. On Halloween night, he was sitting on the front steps of the house when a pumpkin was bounced off the mailbox, smashing the pumpkin and damaging the mailbox. Joe recognized the sound of the car and knew of the student who owned it. Needless to say, that kid and one of his co-hort friends had to do manual labor at our house for two weekends in trade for his not reporting it to the authorities. It would have been funnier had I not worried about what other stunts could have been foist on us due to his position.

When my grandchildren were born, a whole other generation of fun began for Halloween. When my baby Robin was very young, she was brought to my school dressed in an elephant costume. I was one happy grandma! When Robin was maybe three, Megan and Nathan and I spent an entire weekend (and quite a bit of money) creating an astronaut costume for Robin. It was the best! When Ryan came along, he had a variety of costumes, none of which we gave much effort to. He was too young to care back then.

Then there were the Frodo years. Frodo was the cocker spaniel that I inherited when Meg, Nathan, and family moved to Muncie. Bless her toady little heart, Frodo was never housebroken nor knew the word "no". On Halloween, things got dicey. She would bark vociferously at every knock on the door. It quickly got old. Finally, I would shut her into the back bedroom, but that only netted barking PLUS scratching on the door. Ugh! I had the Fro-dog for three years of training without results. When I finally had her put to sleep, I felt like an absolute criminal, but I was weary of feeling that we (me, Megan, and my grandchildren) were living in her toilet. Double ugh!

So tonight, Halloween of 2010, I had to turn off my lights and shut down because, for the first time in my 18 years in this house, I ran out of candy 45 minutes before official the end of trick-or-treating hours. I have never seen the neighborhood so full of roving bands of children! Not sure why... Had one radio friend and one former student show up at my doorstep, with children.

I just finished talking to my grandchildren on the phone. I love those kiddos so very much!
Another Halloween down. On to Ryan's birthday and Thanksgiving. God bless!

Oh...another ghost of Halloweens past: once upon a time, Halloween was spelled with an apostrophe between the two e's...and if you left it out on a spelling test, it was WRONG. Now, no one even has a memory of those days. Sigh. So many changes for an old English teacher to deal with!

Nightie...

Bring 'Em On!

I am ready for the trick-or-treaters. It's a process each year.
I have batteries in my bat wreath, whose red eyes flash and it laughs maniacally from a motion sensor.
I have my electric pumpkins in the bay window...turned on...with the blinds pulled up just enough to let them show through.
I have moved my car over in the drive, to make more room for kids coming to the door.
I've raked the leaf drifts in front of the house and swept the sidewalk.
Candy is in a bowl by the door.
Porch light is on.
It's always fun to see the children in costume...but I miss my grandchildren!!!!

Friday, October 29, 2010

A Drop in the Bucket

I helped out a former student today. She and her fairly new husband are trying to support four children--two his and two hers--on his disability. It's not pretty. We connected on Facebook. I met them in Mooresville and gave them some food from my freezer and pantry, and just a tiny bit of cash. I know, I know...I don't have the resources to support this family...nor should I have to...but I do not want to see the children suffer. It's discouraging, actually. I have directed them to every possible organization I know of to help them get through this. I hope it helps a little.

I am STILL working on the jewelry box organization. I think I have a mental disorder! How is it that I can't just throw out dozens of things that have shown up in the boxes of "stuff"? My favorite Zuni Indian ring is still missing. Don't have a clue where it could be...

It occurred to me early today that trick-or-treating in Plainfield is TOMORROW! I had to run out to get candy. Also have to get a couple of prescriptions filled. I really would like it if my meds would run out after the 1st of the month instead of before my pension kicks in.

Some counties are lifting their burn bans, since the last storm, but Hendricks seems to still be under the ban. I just wish my neighbor would quit clearning his leaves. Makes me look bad!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Ah...the Nostalgic Sounds of Autumn in Plainfield, IN

The rustle of the dry leaves...the scrape of rakes on the dry ground...the whine of leaf blowers...the rumble of the DPW leaf vacuum trucks...the blare of the tornado sirens...
Huh? Wait! Tornado sirens??
I got up somewhat late yesterday morning. Was sitting on the pot (TMI!) when I heard the tornado sirens go off. They are tested at 11:00 AM every Friday...but this was Tuesday and definitely not 11:00. I quickly turned on the local TV news stations only to find out that a powerful and dangerous storm was approaching...one that encompassed the entire state, north to south. There was a Skywarn net up on amateur radio in the county. I got ready to rock and roll! Winds were horrific. Things got worrisome. I prepared to take refuge in the bathroom--the only room in the house with no windows. To make a long story short, the storm moved through and I survived. There were lots of limbs and twigs down in the yard, but the really good part was that I never lost power. Thanks be to God!
The storm, which took over much of the country, has been likened to a category 3 hurricane in that it registered the lowest barometric pressure ever recorded in the United States. I guess that vindicates my concern about taking cover! There were eight "confirmed" tornadoes in Indiana yesterday. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

So...I was watching Oprah today. Her guest was Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda, as in 72-year-old Jane Fonda...but man, she looked great! Of course, she has money for face lifts and whatever else it takes to look good at age 72...but I got to thinking that I am so very tired of looking like a dowager. Lacking money, what's a woman to do? I can't turn back time...but I CAN lose weight. I CAN buy a wig. I CAN get in better shape. I CAN buy younger-looking clothes. I CAN do my nails on a regular basis. I CAN change my attitude from resignation to action. I'm not dead yet. Maybe I should start acting like it??

Ciao. I need to get my mo-jo working! (By the way...what's a mo-jo?)

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Days Just Go...

This weekend, I got the sad news on Facebook that one of my former teaching colleagues had died. Bob was one of the four "core" teachers on my 8th grade team--social studies-- for the first 2-3 years that I taught middle school. Then he retired...not because he was old, but because (I think but can't prove) that his doctors wanted him to do something less stressful.

Bob was a runner...in great shape...a little guy without a hint of fat on him. He had coached cross country and maybe even track. Every year, he ran the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon. He was an affable kind of guy that his students and team members loved. Back in 1996, he had a bone marrow transplant for leukemia. He came back to teach and was doing well for many years...but then the cancer returned in his retirement. He had a transplant last spring from a foreign donor...only this time, host/graft disease took over and began to shut his organs down. He was in great pain. His wife, whom I didn't know, made daily posts on a hospital-supplied website where people could read about his progress and leave supportive messages. (Interestingly, I was the recipient of one of those "significant health event" websites when I had my brain aneurysm. I still have the printed messages!) God bless his dear wife, she never left a hint of despair in any of her posts. Bob--and family--had fought his cancer for 20 years. Now, her long vigil is over. I pray that God grants her and their college-age son the same peace that He finally gave to Bob. Bob Huffman was 60.

Gave my last Sunday School lesson on Sunday. It was a bit deep and selfish...and maybe somewhat boring to some...about the differences between love for self, love for others, and love for God--and what constitutes "enabling" and/or being "supportive". I am glad to turn over the reigns to the next group!

I went to my former school this afternoon to help my ham bud there conduct BARC (Bulldogs Amateur Radio Club). We only have ONE taker--a young lady from the high school who is cute as the dickens and would make a great radio operator. I hope she hangs with it. I would LOVE to introduce her to the radio world! My "ham bud" is Rick, WW9JD, the 7th grade math teacher who had just had a gastric bypass operation the last year that I taught. Sure enough, I hardly recognized him! He has probably lost 100 pounds and looks good! Getting to the school was interesting, however, since the main road is blocked off for construction. I got a tour of the countryside that I have never seen before!

The focus at church for the last few weeks has been "Live simply so that others may simply live". Giving is the idea. I've thought a lot about this. I don't know how much more simply I can live! I have a tiny house and an aging car. I basically do nothing for fun if it costs money, unless it is for/with the grandchildren. Occasionally, I go out to eat with friends, but not often. The only vacations I get are usually paid by my daughter so I can escort the grandchildren to California for visitation. Most of the time, however, there is too much month left at the end of the money. Like now. I continue to scour the pantry to see what I can fix to eat with what I already have. (Rest assured, I'm not starving!) Ya know...I wish I were rich--not so I could have more but so I could give more. If someone were to offer me all of the riches in the world, I wouldn't know where to start. I would pay off my house and find another, get a new car, and start giving the rest away. Honestly, at this point, I think I am giving more to the church financially than I can afford. I could step up my volunteerism, I guess. Don't have a good answer!

Still haven't finished the jewelry box project. I got stuck with what I should keep and what I should pitch...and what some of the stuff is worth. Oh, well!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Tell-Tale Signs

How can you tell when it's time to call the plumber?
1. When you do the laundry, does the water in your toilet get really low? Or bubble?
2. When you do laundry, does water come out onto the bathroom floor under the toilet?
3. When you do laundry, is there evidence that stuff has come up the drain in your bathtub?
4. When you shower or bathe, does the tub drain slowly?
5. When you flush the toilet, does the water start to go down, but then comes way up?
All of these are tell-tale signs that something is up with your plumbing, and all of them have happened to me in the last week or two. I wasn't desperate. I mean, nothing had overflowed...yet...but I did stand, plunger in hand, with every flush, just in case... Although I can scarcely afford it this month, I decided to call the plumber before something DID overflow and before the poor guys would have to work in freezing temperatures to clean out the "clean out".

The problem most always is roots in the sewer system. The company I call is out of Mooresville. They are quite reasonable in fees, and it is a testament to the plumbing problems I have here that I no longer have to tell them where I live. We are practically on a first-name basis! According to them, they have had a large upturn of calls for sewer roots because it has been so dry. Apparently, plant roots--with their actively reasoning little brains--say, "I'm thirsty. I think I'll invade that sewer pipe over there." Don't know whether to believe that or not, but who knows? In any case, another crisis averted...I hope. I need to get religious about using copper sulphate in the sewer system. A bottle of it costs about $7. If I used a bottle a month, I could do 17 monthly applications just to equal what the sewer rooting cost today. The guys were just here last November for the same problem... (I can't believe that my blog post today has to do with sewage!!)

I spend so much time in my garage room, and the place is the repository for things that have no other place in the house, so I decided to "start to commence to begin" working on cleaning up the disarray. Of course, when I deep-clean one room, I mess up another. This is a project that will not happen quickly. For now, the top of my dresser is cleaned off and my jewelry box (and stray jewelry) is on the kitchen table for organizing efforts. I can do this! I just need to find happy homes for things I can't throw away...such as my father's VFW and American Legion hats. I wonder if my grandson would like to have them? He isn't even 7 yet. Or maybe my grand-nephew Jeremy? I don't want them to go to trash. It is sad how treasured possessions get so scattered in two or three generations. I will always wonder what happened to my grandparents' dining table after I donated it in order to make room for my daughter's things here.

Another year, another FFA tragedy. Students from the Future Farmers of America descend on Indy every year for their annual convention. They are great kids. Everyone in Indy loves having them here. The media talks about the "blue jacket" invasion. Last year, one of their numbers fell several floors near an escalator at the big downtown shopping center. (He survived, but barely. A year later, he is in a nursing care facility in Texas, still on a feeding tube.) This year, one was hit by a car (but okay)...and another, who wasn't an FFA member but accompanied a group (an exchange student from Afghanistan) has disappeared. Looks like he planned to disappear. In any case, it never makes Indy look good for these things to happen. Ugh!

Lovely day here. I should have been raking leaves. I need help!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I'm So Aggravated!

I spent two days writing what I thought was an insightful, masterpiece blog post...but it didn't save! It's gone! I hate when that happens!

Working on my next Sunday School lesson. Trying to get inspiration. What I do can't really be called a lesson. Every person in that room is probably more qualified than I to teach lessons of faith. Mine are more presentations of (I hope) interest to everyone...just explorations of little known things about the Bible. I have learned more in preparing the lessons than I could ever hope to impart to my classmates!

Grandma Judy and I are going to be Salvation Army Doughnut Girls on Veteran's Day! I volunteer for TSA and get notices on a regular basis for events in need of volunteers. This last request was specifically for Plainfield. TSA is having a Veteran's Day celebration dinner for vets at Duke Energy here in town. The Doughnut Girls were Americans sent to France to tend to the comfort of in-the-trench soldiers in World War I. (Um...that sounds bad. Please take it in the way it was intended!) They wanted to serve comfort foods to the guys who were digging in the rain and mud for weeks on end. Supplies were limited, so the gals came up with the idea of cooking doughnuts with the ingredients they could get. The soldiers were treated to fresh, warm doughnuts and coffee, in the name of Christ's love for them. Judy and I will don the costumes of the original gals and will serve coffee and doughnuts for dessert at the luncheon in town. Should be fun! I can count several times over my years of service with SATERN (the Salvation Army Team Emergency Radio Network) when complete strangers would approach me with tears in their eyes, remembering their service days, far from home and homesick, when TSA volunteers would be there to hand out fresh doughnuts and hot coffee, asking for nothing in return. If it meant so much to them so many years later, it means a lot to me, now.

Haven't felt particularly well today. I just keep on pluggin'.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Weekend

I took a delightful drive to Owen County early on Saturday morning to speak to a radio club about SATERN. Owen County is on a twisty-turny wooded highway south of Cloverdale where I used to live. It was a gorgeous morning...frost on the ground, fog in low-laying areas, with the sun coming up to shine on the colorful trees. Absolutely lovely!

This morning, I gave a presentation to my Sunday School class. I'm not a Bible scholar, but I find things that interest me...and we go from there. They aren't complaining, so far. Thank God for the Internet!

I have done nothing at home today except for a little laundry. Trying to find the Colts game on TV. Where are you, Colts??

Friday, October 15, 2010

Windmills

I meant to post about an interesting sight that has just popped up in northcentral Indiana in the last year or so--a HUGE windfarm. I noticed the windmills a year ago when I drove to Chicago on I-65 for a SATERN meeting, and was reminded of them on my trip to Gary to return the children to their stepmother on Monday. According to the Internet, there are 444 of them, spread out all over the country near Fowler, IN. I'm not sure why they thrill me so. Perhaps because there are so many of them. They go on for miles and miles. Now, here's the other part of the story: when I was returning to Indy in the dark, I came upon what looked like runway lights, then realized that the red blinkers were on the windmills--and every one of them winked simultaneously! It brought a smile to my face. How do they do that??

I haven't done much today. Have been working on my Sunday School lesson. I've had inspiration, but when I dig into each idea, I find that there isn't much that can be done with the class without computer presence, so I have shifted ideas at least three times. Ugh!

I will be driving to Spencer, IN, tomorrow to talk about SATERN to a radio club there. It should be a pretty drive with fall colors just about at peak. If I can get my bottom out of bed early enough, it should be fun!

My daughter keeps sending me pictures of flowers asking if I know what they are. Unfortunately, I don't, usually. California is a different planet from the Midwest. I can figure out things that are familiar to me. We just don't have as many possibilities here as they have there! Meg reports that they had a 3.1 earthquake this morning. That's not a biggie, but she felt it. (Actually, she felt one here a couple of years ago. Since I was still in my waterbed in those days, with grandchildren and dog prancing around on the bed, I didn't feel it.) I worry...

Back to work on the SS lesson. Wish me luck!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Oopses and Whoopses and Hoots(es?)

Okay. The Chilean miners were rescued. Great story. Now let's move on, shall we? My regard for the miners flagged a bit today when I read that one miner had requested that his wife AND his mistress be there to greet him when he emerged from the mine. Mistress was there but wife took a pass. It appears that she didn't know about the mistress before the mine accident. Oops! (Hope the impending divorce doesn't use up all of the money being offered as a booby-prize for the guys who were trapped!)

When the grandchildren were here this weekend, Robin bought a Whoopee Cushion from Walmart. ($1) When Grandma Judy and Grandpa Phil came over for dinner on Sunday, Robin determined where she wanted Grandma Judy to sit...then put the cushion on her chair. Of course, Judy spied it before she sat down but was a good sport and sat on it anyway. Robin got such a charge out of that. Whoops! (If you knew how sweet and proper Grandma Judy is, you would see the irony of Robin pulling this little trick on her!)

Robin likes to help out with cooking. While we were preparing dinner, she was scraping carrots at the sink while I was cutting onions next to her and singing the "I Never Hurt an Onion, So Why Did It Make Me Cry" song. We discussed the fact that onions make eyes water. She asked if that's why they say you should cut them under running water. I said yes...but since I wear glasses, onions don't really bother my eyes much anymore. When she decided she wanted to finish up on the onion job, she dashed to her room and came back wearing a pair of 3-D glasses from the movies. What a hoot to watch her peeling onions in those!

I have a long-time radio friend who is blind (with a service dog). Bill called me yesterday to ask if I was doing any walking lately--something I'm supposed to be doing on a regular basis. When I confessed that I hadn't, he asked if I would come over today and walk the trails with him and dog...that they both needed the exercise. I said I would. It was a cool but beautiful morning. All I had to do was fix my hair. Didn't bother with makeup. (Bill can't see, you know!) The walk was going fairly well except that Chance (the dog) kept veering Bill into me in his quest to get to the grass. He had to water the weeds three times on the walk...and took a poop once. (Bill said he had already done that and wouldn't have to. Oops!) Guess all that exercise got Chance's digestive system moving. All it did for me was make me huff and puff...and my legs have been weak the rest of the day. Guess that means I need to do more, huh?

I sent some genealogy papers to my daughter today--some things she had left behind. It was my plan to put them in a flat-rate envelope at the post office that would cost me $5, but I screwed up and picked up Express Mail instead of Priority Mail. It cost just over $18 but will be there tomorrow at noon. Since she requested the papers for a Ball State student who is working on an assignment, I just decided to "eat" the difference due to my stupidity...and count it as karma for someone's college education. Oops!

I am working on my Sunday School lesson for this week, and will be speaking to a radio group about SATERN at 9:00 on Saturday morning down in Spencer, IN. Once upon a time, all of this would be nothing...but now that I'm retired, just getting moving before noon is an issue. Need to work on that!

I have word from my sister that both of my nieces have some potentially serious health conditions. Laurie has breast cancer. (We won't know any details until Tuesday.) And Lynn has some spots on her lungs and liver problems due to hepatitis-something. If you are reading this and are a praying-kind-of-person, I would appreciate it if you would put my nieces on your list. (As I get older, prayer lists get longer. I wish it were not so!) Honestly, we ALL need prayer, so just pray for the world!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Miners

What happy news to watch the rescue efforts for the 33 miners in Chile! The very last person has just been lifted from the mine. What joy in Chile!

God provides. Don't ever forget that. Life goes on...sometimes with new priorities. The lawsuits will happen later. For now, the world can rejoice that these men have been returned to their families after 70 days below ground. I simply can't imagine....

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

My Weekend

I can't write too much here because some of what occurred over the weekend with my grandchildren is privileged information. Suffice it to say that we were all very happy to see each other! When we walked in the door of my humble abode, little Ryan said, "Home, sweet home!" God bless the children. I have come to understand that they have no real memories of when their parents were together...only of my house as "home". When they were taken away a year ago, they were yanked from the only place they really understood as home. Thanks be to God, it is still here for them when they can come.

I'm not 100% sure how it happened, but the kids were absolute angels this weekend. There was one tiny little meltdown, directly after which the "meltdownee" fell asleep on his bean bag chair. He was a tired little boy! Otherwise, the weekend was perfect.

The weather was wonderful. The children could play indoors or out. They were happy campers to be in the yard with or without the neighbor kids. We went to the park. We watched a movie and ate popcorn. We went to church functions. (Robin got her 3rd grade Bible from our church, even though she goes elsewhere.) We played with neighbor kids. We talked and played and ate, and generally were just happy to be together. They were so good--didn't even fuss with each other. I'm not sure they understand how wonderful it was for me not to have to yell at them for misbehavior! I felt so close to both of them for the first time in ages.

I'm not sure when I will get to see them next, but I am certain of my relationship with them, as of this visit. I wish I were younger so I could be assured of being with them longer. But if I were to die tomorrow, I'd go knowing that my grandbabies understand how much I love them. Their Heffelman grandparents and I have bent over backwards to give these children the most love the world has even known, without being enablers. I feel so blessed.

God bless the babies. God bless Grandma and Grandpa Heffelman. And...oh yes...God, please bless me, too!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Too Much

Was in my granddaughter's bedroom today, changing bed linen and cleaning up the mess from the last time she was here. There is WAY too much in that little room. Ryan's room has a toy rack with bins in it to store stuff. (I found the missing bin, by the way.) Robin's room doesn't because they don't make one in the size she needs for the only available space. I just started pitching things...little things that don't seem to be attached to anything. She has craft kits that we haven't really done anything with. She has books that she hasn't read. She has candy left over from last year's Valentine party at school. There are drawers full of outgrown clothing and lots and lots of things like rocks, sea shells, beads, little dolls, big dolls, pencils of all sorts, crayons, Bendaroos--you name it, it's in there. I filled up one garbage bag. More to come.

I've been trying to clean and organize for the kids' visit. Five minutes after they hit the door on Friday night, I will ask myself why I bothered. Still, I keep thinking that it helps if I start out with a clean slate. Maybe!

Last night, I just cried and cried. One of my radio friends came to pick up the turtle sandbox and the princess booster seat that I had offered for his grandchildren because mine had outgrown them and are no longer here often enough to take advantage of them. I wasn't weeping over the loss of those things. Was actually glad to see the sandbox go. What caused my tears were memories of a little girl in the back seat of my car who wept pitiously when we drove by Hummel Park without stopping. She sobbed, "Bye bye s'ide." (Slide.) And I remembered the day that Grandpa Phil and I drove to Walmart in Muncie with his "big brue truck" to buy the sandbox and sand. Happier days...simpler days. I hate growing old and feeling this sense of loss, but I hate it more that my grandchildren are growing up and no longer have memories of those days. They were such adorable babies. I pray to God that they become adorable adults. I won't be here to see it, but that's my prayer.

We have a busy weekend planned. Actually, weekends with the children plan themselves. By the time we have opportunity to play with the neighbor kids, visit with the other grandparents, go to Sunday School, eat our favorite foods, do something creative, watch a movie or whatever, the weekend is gone. My biggest challenge will be the trips up and back, twice. The children just don't seem to be able to get along in the car these days...

I still have a lot to do around here in order to feel good about a visit, but I'm still pluggin'.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Only So Many Perfect Songs

My passion in life, before I lost my voice, has always been music. I sang in church. I sang in school. I sang at home. Many of my happy memories of the past have to do with music and performances.

My high school class had 800+ members. Edna Ruth Wood was the choir director and task master. It was well known that you couldn't get a berth for a solo performance unless you took voice lessons. I did. My voice teacher was a professional coloratura who was well known in the Jewish community of Oak Park, IL, in particular, and in Chicago (at Mt Sinai Temple), in general.

I got lucky. After auditions, I was awarded the solo in the Sophomore spring program. Two songs: one, plus an encore. It went swimmingly. The other music teacher was heard to say, "What breath control!" when I performed. It was a great day for me.

In my old age, I listen to songs endlessly...but only those that I consider perfect. Perfect songs are a blend of lyrics, background, and vocals. The two biggest in my estimation are "Evergreen" by Barbra Streisand, and "If I Can't Love Her" from the Broadway version of "Beauty and the Beast" There are others, of course. But if you choose to listen to my choices, please listen to the background as much as the meaning. I also love the Black Eyed Peas performance at Oprah's flashmob deal a year ago.

God is still at work in my life. Even though I can no longer sing, I cherish the music that life produces.

Summary of My Day

Got up. Got ready for church. Went to church. Presented a Sunday School lesson. Went to McDonald's drive-thru. Ate. Ate. And ate. Watched TV. Took a nap. Watched the Colts game. (Heartbreaker!) Ate some more. Put a load of dishes in the dishwasher. Time for bed. That's it in a nutshell. My world and welcome to it. (Apologies to James Thurber.)

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Bring It On!

Today was Plainfield's main event: Quaker Day, with parade. It's the only parade in Plainfield all year, and (wouldn't you know it) it rained! We haven't had rain to speak of in the Indy area for months, but today it truly rained on our parade!

It was also jacket weather. That in itself is kind of scary because we had temperatures in the 90s just last week. (Scattered frost is forecast for Monday and Tuesday. Good ol' Indiana weather!) When the National Weather Service started making noise like cooler temps were coming, the wheels started grinding in my head. I needed to get things ready for the heating season. I got the furnace filters cleaned, thanks to a lot of help from my friend, the Amish Santa in the M&Ms jacket. Santa Ryan also helped me change the bottom sheet on my grandson's loft bed. (The mattress has to come completely out of the frame. I can't do it alone without major effort.) Got the area around the baseboard heaters in my garage/bedroom cleaned up (Dust, cobwebs, and dead flies gone, etc.) I have the fall decorations in front of the house, complete with pumpkin. I've located the leaf rake (and the snow shovel), so I'm ready. Okay, Mr. Weatherman...bring it on!

Yesterday was payday for me, so I stocked up on groceries and meds. I have a stash of my grandkids favorite foods for next weekend. I just have to keep on pluggin' on the rest of the house...which I am doing. If I EVER get it the way I want it, I will be encouraged never to let it get so cluttered again. (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!)

I got an email from my grandchildren's stepmom, giving directions where I am to meet up with them next Friday. Thankfully, it will keep me out of Chicago traffic. I will be meeting them in the Gary, IN, area at 7:30 Eastern Time, which puts me on the road in the dark...but it is fairly familiary territory for me, so--unless it is raining--I should be just fine. I will make sure to have the windshield clean, inside and out. This will be a new venture for all of us. We will have to make allowances for traffic delays on both ends and hope for the best. Since this is a 3-day weekend for the kids, I will meet up with them again on Monday at 7:30. I think it's about a 2 1/2 hour drive up. We'll get back plenty late, but we'll manage! I miss the little skunks. They are growing up way too fast for me.

I'm teaching adult Sunday School tomorrow. Wish me luck!

I forgot the worst one...

In all of my diatribe about bullying, I left out the worst one.
When I taught 4th grade, I had a cute little guy whose mother and brother were killed in a car crash the year before. He got into some altercation with another kid on the playground during recess. The other kid said, "At least I have a mother!"
I reacted poorly. I wanted to strangle the kid...but how could I find a way to take back the words that his peer had said??
Sometimes, even when adults are around, things can't be controlled. Ugh!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Bullying

The gay and lesbian community is in an uproar because three young homosexual teens have committed suicide in the last three weeks because they were being bullied. (One in Indiana.) Even Ellen Degeneres was near tears on her TV show over it. Ever since the Columbine massacre, the focus has been on bullying and zero tolerance for aggressive behaviors, and the target has been schools because that is the microcosm of society where kids are located for a large part of their day. That puts the monkey on the backs of the teachers and administrators. We are supposed to be able to fix it. (I say "we" in the sense that I was a teacher in recent years.)

I feel bad that kids decide it is better to be dead than endure the emotional abuse that comes at the hands of their peers, but it's not a school problem. It's a maturity problem. Children are not equipped to deal with things that deny them acceptability. To be denied acceptance means they are worthless, in their eyes. And bullying is not limited to those on the fringe by way of sexuality. Look at the comments posted at the end of news articles...by adults talking to other adults. Racism is rampant. The anonymity of the Internet allows people to say thing they would never think of saying to a person's face!

I'm sorry to have to say this, but no amount of sensitivity training or talking to kids about sticking up for the underdog is going to work. They aren't mature enough to get it. Bullying is as old as the hills, and then some. It won't change. IT WON'T CHANGE. In all of life, there is a pecking order. It isn't until one gets old (like me) that the pecking order levels out.

When she was in third grade, my daughter tried to sit with a really odd youngster at lunch. He was special ed...probably with a mental illness that would now be labeled as autistic or worse. She felt sorry for him. I applauded her for trying to befriend him, but she said, "Mom, he talks to his banana at lunch." The young man was killed on the first day of summer vacation that year when he rode his bicycle behind a garbage truck that was backing up. He had been warned not to, but didn't heed the warning.

In my years of teaching, I've had a lot of sad cases. One young man who had an odor, was tormented by his classmates, but he fought back and made thing worse. At one point, I called a youngster to the hall because he had been baiting the fellow in order to make more fun of him. "You are putting me in an impossible situation," I told him. "I am forced to defend a boy who is guilty of creating his own circumstances!" (The tormentor later ended up in jail for drug/alcohol offenses, including a car accident that seriously injured another person.)

Another student who was identified as autistic, with other problems including a huge speech impediment, was a bright boy...but I had to stay on top of him in the classroom. The other kids loved to egg him on because, when he got aggravated, his eyes would go crazy just before he was ready to blow up. At one point, he was voicing (in front of other students) how he understood people who would bring in weapons and kill people. I pulled him out to the hall and talked to him, explaining about how people who pick on other people do so because they are insecure and like to see other people suffer so they will feel better about themselves. His response was, "If they feel that way, they must understand how it feels to be me." I wept for him, in front of him. When he left my 8th grade classroom and entered into high school, he was soon expelled because of a reaction to being bullied yet again.

I had one victory in all of this: one student who was pushed to the brink of explosion by another who had been bullied. I watched as he clenched his fists and was totally capable of cleaning the other kid's clock...but he turned around and walked away with steam coming out of his ears. I wrote his parents a note about it, praising him for his mature reaction to a bad situation. (His parents kept the note. They read it to me years later when I was dealing with another of their kids.)

I was bullied in junior high school. I was a new kid. The school was putting on an Americana program. The music teacher discovered that I had a good singing voice, which kind of displaced the student who was previously considered the best singer of the class. We were both awarded verses in singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot". She and one of her cronies hated me for that and whispered threats every time I walked by them. I was scared. My mother went to the principal. The principal called all of the girls into an assembly and told everyone that it had to stop (without mentioning names). And, interestingly, it DID stop. Also interestingly, the young lady in question was never a musical competitor in high school.

Bullying will always be with us.
Gay or straight; male or female; handicapped or normal; old, young, etc. It ain't gonna stop!