Sadness

I am sad tonight, and I'm not sure why.  I am watching the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.  Can that be part of it?  Wish I knew.

There is something sad about working hard all weekend and not bringing closure to anything.  I did get the porch light fixed.  I did get a kitchen junk drawer cleaned out.  I got the rest of Robin's Daisy Girl Scout flower petals ironed on her Daisy tunic for her first meeting of the year tomorrow...and I got Ryan's soccer uniform cleaned and in the "soccer bag" for his second game--also tomorrow.  I got most of the laundry done.  Not bad for two days, but I want more.

I want, somehow, for things to be organized enough that we can get up to a relatively orderly house each day, and keep it that way.  I want more time to have fun with my grandchildren, so that things don't have to be so rushed all the time.  I don't want the Almighty Schedule--all of ours--to rule our lives.  I guess I'm sad that the summer is over...and that my granddaughter is in school full time...and that there is so little time to do the things that I always WANT to do with them, but can't.  Life is too short.

My friend Patrick, home from his brother's funeral in Kansas City, has to be feeling some of this, too.  It just goes by so fast...

I have lots of wishes...but as my mother used to say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."  I didn't understand it much when I was a kid.  Still don't, really...but I guess it means something to the effect that hollow wishes mean nothing.  Make it stick.  Make it work.  Do something to make wishes count.  In that regard, I have to say that I have hung in there.  I don't give up.  I just keep pluggin'.  Need to get a t-shirt with that on the front...

At least next weekend is a 3-dayer.  Yay!