So Here It Is

Today is the day before Christmas. Tonight, magic is supposed to happen. The snow has already begun here, with my daughter and son-in-law set to fly eastward tomorrow. I am praying that "magic" will provide a weather window for no delays. I just want them all here safely! Hmmm...well, for the first time in a long time, the system won't allow me to make a paragraph break, so I will put an asterisk where a next paragraph should start. Sorry! *One magical Christmas Eve memory was when I was probably 8 or 9 years old. (Can't remember, exactly.) I was at my grandparents' farm, expected to sleep on the living room hide-a-bed couch in the midst of two big picture windows. I think the parents and grandparents were playing bridge or pinochle in the same living room...which they loved. I loved it, too. They laughed and had a good time...and I was always happily on the fringe of their adult world. Along about midnight that evening, a dense fog descended on the farm, and the moisture froze on every limb, twig, and blade of grass, making a hoar frost that created a fairyland out of the environs. Although I was supposed to be asleep (no one else was!), I was enthralled. I had never experienced hoar frost before, but it was Christmas Eve magic! I was 100% certain that it was part of God's message to me. *The next miracle didn't happen on Christmas Eve, but the song referred to it. My mother had just died, suddenly. My 7-year-old daughter had a solo in her school's Christmas concert for the song, "The Friendly Beasts". I didn't know what to expect. I was just numb. I sat in the bleachers blubbering like a baby as my child stepped up to the microphone and sang her verse in the clearest voice. Thank God, I have a recording of it! (I just found it a few days ago.) It was so very special to me! *The next memorable Christmas Eve occurred when my daughter and grandchildren and I spent the holiday in Florida. It was different! We were in a time-share condo. The children emerged from 21 hours in the car to put on their bathing suits and run to the surf where they ran and laughed and fell over in the sand. That Christmas Eve, we made a gingerbread house and hung stockings on a bathroom door. We prayed that Santa could find us there! (He did!) *Last Christmas Eve, Megan and Denis were traveling to California. We had made our sad "good-byes" a few days before. Nathan (my grandchildren's father), his wife, and all three children joined us (me and the other grandparents) for the candlelight service at our church. It felt great to have them there! I think they were impressed with the service. I was more impressed with how wonderful it was to be with them! *This year, my family is due to gather within the next day or two. I have purchased every stinking thing that I can for food and gifts. All I want is for everyone to be safe and happy. I'm not sure if there will be flight delays tomorrow. I could suggest that Megan just hitch a ride on Santa's sleigh! God provides. I won't be happy until all of my babies are in my clutches! *I will attend church tonight and will cry through it all. Don't ask me why! *So...to my friends and loved ones--whoever reads this--God bless you all and give you a reason to live and be happy. Merry Christmas!

Sometimes things happen in life that are too personal, too life-changing, or too confusing to be put into words. I had one of those moments last night (Monday). If I have learned nothing else in my existence, I have figured out that time changes things. The truth today may not be the truth tomorrow. I have also learned that I am just old enough that it is difficult for me to deal with change--especially change that I didn't initiate. I have been dealing with over a year of heartbreak in my personal life. I've done the best I can, but it hasn't been pretty.

I had hoped that retirement would be a happy time, but then there was the heart attack and the removal of my grandchildren. I'm not over all of that yet. No one ever explained that there would be anger and depression with a heart attack...or devastation with the grandkid thing. Basically, everything in my life changed (retirement, heart attack, custody change with grandchildren) within a 4-month period. Guess I should have been more resilient...but how much more can a person take??

Now my daughter is experiencing some major health problems and she really just needs the mommy she rejected a year ago. I think time has helped her children. I still struggle, but I have always been there for my kid. I will try to continue to do that, only less of an enabler.

I am really excited at the prospect of having all of my ducklings in my pond for Christmas week! God is in control. I am ready!

Woohoo!

If you live anywhere near Plainfield and didn't feel the earth move this afternoon, you weren't paying attention. For the first time in at least 2 1/2 years, my "new" garage bedroom is clean and organized! Victory! Of course, it was guided by the knowledge that my daughter and son-in-law would have to sleep in the room because it has the only double bed in the house...but still...I'm so glad it's done! Big time accomplishment! Can't wait for my family to be here this weekend!!

Message to Lydia

I just tonight saw your response to my post about family eating treats. I am totally honored that you follow my blog, although I can't imagine how boring it must be for a young'un to read my blatherings!

Let me just say this: you are one of the most "grounded" of my former students that I have ever had the pleasure to know. I follow you on Facebook. I love your sense of humor and your maturity...and your confidence. You always seem to "get it"...and I applaud your parents for raising a good kid!

Thanks for hanging in with an old lady who cares about you. Merry Christmas, Lydia Lucas!

Last Sunday in Advent

Back in early April, I had occasion to go to Plainfield's Christian gift store looking for baptism gifts for my grandchildren. On a sale table, there was an Advent wreath marked 75% off because the box was damaged. I've always wanted an Advent wreath, so I bought it. (It also prompted my motivation that my grandson asked why I didn't have one last Christmas!) Even though I only had company on the first Sunday of Advent (when the grandchildren and other grandparents were here to break bread together over Thanksgiving), I have been faithful about lighting the candles alone and letting them burn for an hour. The Christ candle is to be lit on Christmas Day, but in my house, it won't be lit until my family is all here on the 26th. That will truly be a special day!

After church, I treated Judy and Phil (the other grandparents) to lunch at Panera Bread (Judy's choice) in honor of her birthday on the 23rd. They will be in Tennessee visiting family and so will not be here for her birthday OR Christmas. They are such nice people and have been so good to me through the years. I didn't want to miss a chance to have our own little celebration before they take off for points south. Of course, because the Colts were playing today at 1:00, we had to make it an early luncheon--which worked for me because I was hungry!

Colts won. Woohoo! That means they are still in the playoffs. Had they lost today against Jacksonville, they would have been out of the running. Austin Collie got another concussion on his first game back after a nasty concussion three weeks ago. Although he is a favored player, his health isn't worth it. He did come back to the sidelines looking very morose. Poor guy had two touchdowns in the first half of the game...but now it looks like he'll be out for awhile.

I need to get back to working on my room. I told myself I'd have it done by bedtime today...but since I watched the game, I'm wondering if that's going to happen. Wish me luck!

Second Verse, Same as the First...

Okay...here's the scenario:
A couple of years ago, Meg and I had the one-car garage in my tiny house transformed into a Grandma Room, in order to provide a bedroom for everyone who was living here then. The garage transformation was professionally done by a family member in the construction business out of the Greencastle area. (Megan and I re-did the other bedrooms with a lot of sweat equity and help from friends.) Everything that had been in the garage went to the patio to be sorted later. The walk-in closet that was built in the garage room became major storage for tools, sewing materials, radio crap, clothes, craft supplies, and other goodies too good to pitch. Then, every stinkin' thing in the house that had no other place to be got stashed in my hodge-podge garage bedroom. It is my bedroom/computer room/radio shack. I spend 90% of my at-home time in the room; HOWEVER, only my daughter, grandchildren, and a very short list of trusted friends have ever been allowed in there because I am STILL trying to find places for everything. In all this time, it has never been clean enough to show off. Seriously. I have worked on it, made headway, given up....worked on it, made headway, given up. You get the picture.

Well, in one week, my daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren will be here for a week for the holidays. My bedroom is the only room in the house with a double bed, so Megan and Denis will have to sleep there. That means--you guessed it--I have to have it cleaned up! Crunch time!

This morning, I launched again into a clean/sort/pitch campaign. Have worked all day on the room, dismantling plastic shelves that are just dust/junk collectors, going through stacks and stacks of unopened mail (ancient), attempting to simplify a very complicated place. What I have concluded from my labors is that there is way too much to do! My goal is to have the room DONE by bedtime on Sunday. We'll see!

What have I uncovered in my treasure-trove bedroom?

1. My car key with the automatic opener on it!!!!!! This has been missing for well over a month. I bought the silly opener deal to replace the previous one, to the tune of $72, and it killed me to have it lost. (Prompted me to have an extra key made...just to have a spare.) Where was it? Don't know how it got there, but it was in a box of toy junk from Robin's room that was somehow transplanted to mine. I picked up the box from the floor and put it on my bed...and managed to see the key amid the junk. Yay! The lost is found!

2. An unopened package of bottle rockets. Huh?? Don't ask... I have no idea where they came from or how they got there!

3. A lopsided elephant and a mermaid on a rock--both glazed clay projects that I did in junior high school. Can't exactly throw them out, now can I?

4. Literature for appliances bought LONG ago. One is for the silly microwave that I still use. The date on the manual is 1981. It's almost as old as my daughter!! Some of the manuals are for appliances I no longer have... One set is for the bicycles that I donated to my former son-in-law. I'll try to see that he gets those, even if he doesn't need them. I sure don't!

5. A Christmas stocking knitted for my ex-husband at his birth in 1945 (date knitted into it) left behind by my daughter. What am I supposed to do with that???? Suggestions?

I have seen more dust today than I care to. It's a wonder I can still breathe!

My daughter has been experiencing some nasty health problems due to an increased dosage of anti-depressant medications. She spent a few hours in an ER just after Thanksgiving with chest pain, irregular/rapid heartbeat, and elevated blood pressure. (She thought she was having a heart attack. Tests showed that she hadn't.) As a result, she dropped the meds, cold turkey, and that has created another set of symptoms due to withdrawal. She is still under a doctor's care, but the whole thing has frightened her. She has asked for prayer. If you are reading this and believe in the power of prayer, please send your pleas to the Amighty for her recovery. Even "helpful" drugs have side effects! I just want her home so mommy can take care of her! Just a few more days...

Yet Another Day

I did do some work today, but not nearly enough! When my family arrives next weekend, they will have to take pot luck. They will be well-fed....

Christmas Party

My radio club (Hendricks County Amateur Radio Society--HCARS) had its annual Christmas dinner meeting and election of officers for 2011 tonight. I thought I would look festive in my navy blue sweatshirt with the sparklies around the neck. The last time I wore it was to my sister's birthday dinner. She had given me a nifty pair of earrings that looked nice with it, so that was my attire selection for the evening tonight. Note to self: the next time I have a crab leg dinner, I need to pre-treat the butter spots on my front before washing the garment. I went to put the sweatshirt on tonight and noticed all the lovely little grease spots that didn't come out in the normal laundry routine. Wardrobe malfunction! Had to change my selection in a hurry...so I wore my red sweatshirt with the pretty embroidered cardinal on a black applique'. (I think I must have the nicest collection of sweatshirts in Hendricks County. Sweatshirt chic!)

I am now...once again...the secretary of HCARS for 2011. The whole slate of officers was unopposed. No one wants the jobs!

The party was pleasant. It's nice to visit with spouses and families when we don't have an agenda. Just food and chatter. Thanks to those worked to make it a special occasion!

We are due for another winter storm tonight. It hasn't started yet. I'm hoping we get off light, but I'm not so sure. This storm is coming up from the south. For once, people north of Indy won't get as much precip as we do...and Bloomington could get as much as seven inches. We'll see!

Christmas Shopping

Would that I were inspired! As it is, I am out shopping for "things". I'm pretty sure that my grandchildren don't believe in Santa anymore, just from some things they've said, but there is still magic in the holiday. All I want is some happy memories and good times. The rest is immaterial.

I went out shopping today to augment what Megan and hubby are giving the children for Christmas. Robin (my granddaughter) is getting tough to buy for. I'm not around her enough to know what she wants. Ryan is a little easier because he wants everything! I will be drawing it all to a close before too long, declaring it DONE even if I'm not satisfied.

More weather due in tomorrow evening...hopefully AFTER my radio club's party in Danville, IN. Just have to keep my eyes on the skies.

Love ya!

SOS, and Other Delights of my Childhood

My mommy was a cham-peen at making a buck stretch when it came to snacks and dinner time. She would buy organ meats and try to pass it off. "That's beef. You eat it." I was often suspicious. Liver and onions was a favorite. I could tell that, of course...but sometimes there would be beef tongue or kidney (the latter of which was obvious by the smell of urine being boiled out of the meat), etc. I wasn't required to eat the nastiest ones, but sometimes, my mother's creations were delectable.

In order to make things stretch, she would feed us SOS--"'stuff" on a shingle"--which was hamburger gravy on toast. (The equivalent of biscuits and gravy...only better.) My personal favorite was creamed eggs on toast. Hard boiled eggs in white sauce over toast. (My daugter and grandchildren love that, too. Do other families eat it??)

Mom also fixed cinnamon toast in the broiler--bread encrusted with butter, sugar, and cinnamon. Yum!

But here's one I'll bet you never heard of: crackers and milk. Need a little something? Just break up some saltine crackers in a bowl and add milk. I don't have it often, but sometimes--when there's nothing else to eat--it works!

There was nothing my mother wouldn't eat. Nothing! Even my father, who was meat-deprived as a child, couldn't match her willingness to ingest things that the rest of society thought was awful. I just grew up as her child...and happy to be so!

God bless you, Mom! I just had two bowls of crackers and milk. Made me think of you!

Bring It On!

This morning, I decided I had better take advantage of the last few hours of decent weather in order to get ready for the coming storm. I did a load of dishes, checked into the SATERN net on 40 meters, took a quick run to the grocery store for a few little things, dug out the snow shovel, put fall decorations in the minibarn...then figured I should go to AutoZone for new windshield wiper blades.

Got the blades. I even tipped the gal $5 for putting them on for me. (I wasn't the only one getting new blades, BTW. Seemed like everyone was!) As I was pulling out of the parking lot, I noticed that the blade on the passenger side wasn't even touching the windshield, in places. Maybe it just needs a little tweaking, I thought to myself. I'll check it when I get home and return it tomorrow, if it isn't right. Well...it WASN'T right. It was defective, obviously bent. Then my feeble brain began to wonder what I was thinking about taking it back tomorrow. Tomorrow? Tomorrow when it will be cold, blowing 40 mph winds, and snowing? I don't think so! Thus, I got back in the car and drove back to AutoZone where they promptly gave me a replacement blade. All of this before lunchtime. Now I am ready for a nap. Let it snow!

Big Mistake!

I got an "I-beg-your-pardon" email from a good friend of mine who reminded me that HE had aired up the spare tire in my car in the past. Oops! Sorry, Mike. No slight intended. I'm OLD, you know??

Need to get my rear in gear before the rain hits today (which will turn to snow). I have some fall decorations that need to be in the minibarn. Doesn't sound like a big deal, now does it? Unfortunately, I tend to put off trips to the minibarn. I'm running out of room in there. Should have reorganized in there when I had the weather to do it. (Coulda/woulda/shoulda.)

I still have Christmas shopping to do, but I am getting some accomplished. That's progress!

Another Day

Got back from Illinois late on Wednesday afternoon without problems. The worst part of the entire trip is the ten miles from Brownsburg to Plainfield on 2-lane roads at rush hour. Yuck!

Yesterday, I had a church errand to run, plus some shopping. I also cleaned out the refrigerator--a task that needs to be done more often than it is. Boring!

I had a great time at my sister's. Shari and Roger live in a lovely house in the country outside of Springfield, IL. It's warm and inviting, well-decorated for the holidays, and generally a very comfortable place to be. Most of the time when I visit, I sit around on my big fat you-know-what and eat too much. This trip was a little more productive. We ate out some, shopped some, and celebrated Shari's birthday on the 7th. (More about that in a bit.) Had a meeting with my nieces about a 50th anniversary party we are planning for the spring for my sister and bro-in-law.

The biggest deal for me, however, was taking advantage of their big, heated garage in order to clean out my car. I took out half a garbage bag of crap from the back seat (thank you, grandchildren!), used Roger's big shop vac to clean up the crumbs, dead leaves, etc., from the trunk and interior surfaces. I was asking Roger to help me check the car fuses because I noticed just last week that my rear window defroster wasn't working. Roger figured out in short order that one of the wires to the window coils was unattached. (Methinks that is also probably due to my grandchildren's antics in the back seat last summer.) Thankfully, Roger was able to get the wire soldered back on...and voila! The dead came to life again! He also used his air compressor to air up all of my tires--including the spare "donut" that hadn't been aired for the entire time I've owned the car. (It was supposed to have 60 psi of air in it. It had 21.) I'm not sure that either Shari or Roger know or appreciate what an enormous relief that all was for me, or how much more inconvenient it would have been to try to get it all done without a garage or the tools and expertise needed to accomplish all of that. I got a little weepy about it, actually. Just taking care of those things alone is burdensome, sometimes.

For Shari's birthday, she had requested a Manhattan and a lobster dinner, so we joined two other couples and our cousin for dinner at a seafood restaurant called Chesapeake...or something like that. (It's one of those places that lists a lobster dinner at "market price." If you have to ask how much it is, you can't afford it!) Well...I like lobster, but I LOVE crab legs, so I ordered their snow crab dinner, advertised as a pound-and-a-half. That, plus a salad and a baked potato. When the plate arrived, I couldn't believe it. The order was HUGE! The legs were big and full of meat. Poor me! I was the last one done and didn't even get to the baked potato. Never had a crab leg feast quite like that one!

I came home feeling a little guilty that I got more out of my trip to Springfield than either my sister or brother-in-law did--and it was HER birthday!

Hi, Honey. I'm Home!

I'll keep this brief for another time when I have more time and energy.
I am home from Illinois. Had a great time at my sister's. We packed a lot into a relatively short time. The best thing was that I was able to help her celebrate her 69th birthday. She looks no different than she did 10 years ago. Still has her energy and drive. She is my OLDER sister, but I look like the older one. Not fair!!

I will report more later. I'm pooped!

Preparations

Yesterday, I went to Goodwill (senior discount day) to look for play clothes for the grandchildren to wear when they are here. When I took the kids home to their new place in Zion, IL, last August, all of their remaining summer-weight clothing went with them. (The silly kids just keep growing in spite of my admonitions that they STOP.) For several years when they lived with me, Megan and Nathan had an agreement to maintain clothing for the kids at both homes so packing wasn't necessary for weekend visits. Then, when the custody changed, their presence here wasn't as often...and now that they have moved to IL, I see them even less often. However, the winter-weight clothing in their closets here is outgrown. Robin sees nothing wrong with grabbing ill-fitting and mis-matched clothes to put on in a hurry. And I still need to keep outfits that they can wear to church, etc. I have always kept underwear, socks, pajamas, and at least one pair of church shoes here...and one church outfit. Now, I need to replace at least some of the play clothes (and get rid of the stuff they've outgrown). Whew! All of that by way of explanation of why I went to Goodwill!

Anyway, I came home with just a few things that looked decent and would fit. I spent a whopping $10 on it all. Went thru Ryan's dresser and closet today to move out everything that won't fit. (I have a grand-niece with three young boys. His clothes should fit SOMEBODY.) Will have to work on Robin's later. At least their stepmother won't have to pack much when they come at Christmas.

I prepare to hit the road for Illinois. Hope my sister and bro-in-law can stand to have me around for five days!

Only So Many Perfect Gifts...

If I had all of the money I wanted to spend at Christmas, I wouldn't have any trouble coming up with "perfect" gifts for my loved ones. As it is, my funds are severely limited, so I have to pick and choose what to get. There have only been a very few times when I had brainstorms that turned into perfect Christmas gifts.

The first time was when I was in college (1968?). My mother had expressed interest in Andrew Wyeth's painting "Christina's World" because it reminded her of her childhood on the farm. I was waltzing through an art store in Bloomington, IL, and saw a copy of the painting. Bingo! I'll get that for Mom! I ordered it. Dad could make a frame! Unfortunately, I wasn't aware that the art store would have to "prepare" it...and the cost was a whopping $24. (Doesn't sound like much by today's standards, but back then, it was a LOT for a college student.) I had the print in my hands, all wrapped in brown paper, for Thanksgiving weekend, to hand over to Dad for the frame. When my mother came to pick me up from Illinois State University to take me to my grandparent's farm for the weekend, we packed the car...then stopped in El Paso, IL, for a bite to eat. That's when I began to think about the picture. I couldn't remember putting it in the car. A quick check of the trunk turned up empty. No picture. I remembered putting it on the roof of the car as we were packing...and my heart sank. What to do? I told my mother that we had to go back to Normal...to retrace our route. Told her that it was a poster for a class that I had worked hard on and desperately needed. God bless her...we did go back to backtrack over where we had been...and found the silly picture in the middle of the road on College Avenue. A corner of it had been run over, but it was otherwise intact! I don't know if my mother ever understood how panicked I was that evening...if Dad ever told her before she opened her present on Christmas Day...but I was scared to death that my $24 investment had been lost. Whew!

The second "perfect gift" occurred when my daughter was living on Friendswood Golf Course and was pregnant with my granddaughter. I gave her and her husband FRS radios so that she could be in touch with him when he was on the course. Unfortunately, you have to have the FRS with you and turned on in order for it to work...which Nathan often didn't. A couple of years later, as an afterthought, I picked up a Tracfone for Megan fo Christmas. (Cell phones were just becoming popular.) A few months later, when they moved to Muncie, the stupid phone became extremely valuable in their ability to coordinate the move. It was a start...

The last brainstorm gift occurred just last Christmas. Megan and Denis were about to leave for California, permanently. I barely knew him and didn't really know what to give her. Money, of course...but what else? I saw a Walmart ad for GPS systems on sale. GPS! Perfect! They were about to embark on a cross-country trip and could probably use one! I bought the silly thing and they have used the daylights out of it. In fact, Denis had it set up in Meg's minivan before the Christmas event was over, and both of them had figured out how to use it. (It would have taken me a whole lot longer!) The GPS is named "Linda"...and she provides an authoritative voice in the vehicle. "Recalculating!"

We had a dusting of snow in Plainfield this morning, but apparently there was more in Indy, causing all kinds of problems on the roads. Winter weather, folks. Time to slow down and remember how to drive in the slick stuff!

Will be leaving for IL in the next couple of days. My neighbors and the police will keep an eye on the place for me while I'm gone. I do look forward to being with my blood family. Shari, if you are reading this, let's eat light. I'm gaining weight too fast!