Sometimes things happen in life that are too personal, too life-changing, or too confusing to be put into words. I had one of those moments last night (Monday). If I have learned nothing else in my existence, I have figured out that time changes things. The truth today may not be the truth tomorrow. I have also learned that I am just old enough that it is difficult for me to deal with change--especially change that I didn't initiate. I have been dealing with over a year of heartbreak in my personal life. I've done the best I can, but it hasn't been pretty.

I had hoped that retirement would be a happy time, but then there was the heart attack and the removal of my grandchildren. I'm not over all of that yet. No one ever explained that there would be anger and depression with a heart attack...or devastation with the grandkid thing. Basically, everything in my life changed (retirement, heart attack, custody change with grandchildren) within a 4-month period. Guess I should have been more resilient...but how much more can a person take??

Now my daughter is experiencing some major health problems and she really just needs the mommy she rejected a year ago. I think time has helped her children. I still struggle, but I have always been there for my kid. I will try to continue to do that, only less of an enabler.

I am really excited at the prospect of having all of my ducklings in my pond for Christmas week! God is in control. I am ready!