Subject to Change...

I guess my age is causing me to be, as they say, "set in my ways". I think that means inflexible and unable to handle change. Who, me? No! When I was teaching, I prided myself on being able to roll with the punches and change expectations as the day's circumstances changed. When I was a kid, we moved. We moved a LOT. I never had any choice, so I was expected to drop everything I was doing and go along with the rest of the family...and I changed me to fit every new situation. What was I if not flexible??

But now...well...I find myself resistant to doing things new ways. I mean, I have created new traditions to fill in blank spaces in life, but I have reached a new level of needing some measure of control over things, even while I realize that I'm not in control!

Two days ago, my daughter and son-in-law were laid low by the fact that Denis had not gotten a job offer from a company in the Chicago area, even though he had been told they would. I spent much of the day trying to prop them up, emotionally. Then the word came that the company HAD called, but Denis had just missed it. Within mere minutes, the victory cry went up that the company had come through and they would be moving back to the Midwest. Yay! Part of me wanted to rejoice with them, but another part of me wanted to smack my kid. (If you're a parent, you know what I'm talking about. Your child wanders off and is missing for a bit. You get frantic. The child is found and returned to you. Your first instinct is to hug him/her...and your next thought is to spank him/her for putting you through the worry! My "kid" is 32-years-old!)

The next day (yesterday), I found myself surprisingly tearful and depleted. I was overjoyed to think that Megan and Denis would finally be close in distance to the children--and me. But there was also the realization that I had come through so much pain and heartache just to get to this point, and wondering why it all had to happen in the first place. The children and I had no choice. Okay...so I spent the better part of two years trying to adjust to what was foist on us. Now everything is changing again!! I just want everything to work out for the best for everyone, including me. Adjustments R Us!

And speaking of adjustments, while I am whining about my sorry little existence, my sister is having to make huge changes in her approach to life. Her husband of 50 years has been diagnosed with Fronto-temporal Dementia (FTD) with Personal Progressive Aphasia. In insensitive terms, my brother-in-law is losing his memory and language somewhat quickly, and neither of them knows what to expect in the immediate future. It is an awful condition! This man has had a brilliant mind...now going...and what they have shared is currently compromised. His doctor has put him on medicine that is supposed to help Alzheimer's victims, so we are hoping that the worst won't be realized. If you are a praying person, please pray for Shari and Roger Andrew. It's a family disease. Everyone is affected.

Thanks!