Wedded Bliss?

A friend asked today, "So when are you going to get married again?" It took me back for a moment. I gave him a somewhat frivolous answer, but it did cause me to think. I told him "never". What I meant was "probably never". And here's why.

1. I am not dating anyone at present. Thus, there are no immediate prospects.

2. Patty Stanger--the "yenta" on the show Millionaire Matchmaker--classifies men clients in two categories: hunters and gatherers (just like with early mankind). I suppose the same categories can apply to women. Hunters are those that go out on the hunt, looking for excitement and what they want. Aggressive. Gatherers are those that go out and glean what's already out there to bring things back to the homestead and make something out of them. More laid-back; slow to get started. I am a gatherer. I meet people and take them at face value. I take a wait-and-see attitude about any potential relationship. I don't make close friends easily, and by the time I know them well, I can also see their shortcomings which may (or may not) be something I can live with. Most of the time it is in the "may not" classification. (Of course, *I* don't have any faults!)

3. I had a bad-enough experience with my marriage that I made up my mind before the divorce that life was a whole lot easier without a spouse to worry about. My then-husband made my life somewhat miserable, but I was the real culprit. I married the man even though I knew he was a liar and a cheater. For years, I accepted the unacceptable from him. When our daughter was little, I worked my fanny off to make sure my husband wasn't inconvenienced since wasn't really into children. It wore me out. I lost all respect for myself. In the end, I began to take back my own power. And that's where I'm stuck.

4. For the past 20 years, I have worked really, really hard to make a life for my daughter and me. Then for my grandchildren. I bought a house and made it a home and have been through some tough times to keep it. To paraphrase an old expression, "It ain't much, Baby, but it's all I've got." If Mr. Right came along, what would I do? Give this up? Could I do that?? The house is barely big enough for me, much less me and a spouse...and every spot in it is taken. Anyone with any personal belongings would be out of luck. Maybe if he had some big bucks and could provide us with a nice big place close to here, I could leave all of this "splendor" behind, but most of the men I know have the same retirement money problems that I do: too much month left at the end of the money.

5. What man in his right mind would want to take on a woman who is as close to her daughter as I have been to mine...and the two grandchildren that I adore? If he wanted to be part of my world, it would probably work out. But what if he had a world that he wanted me to be a part of...and the worlds collided?

6. I'm old, ya know? I don't sparkle anymore, and I certainly don't turn heads. I've given up on the chase! I do miss companionship. I do miss going places and seeing things and having an intimate someone to share them with. I don't miss sex! (We won't get into that topic!)

I can hear Dr. Phil telling me that I need to get excited about my life and behave my way to success. I wholeheartedly agree! Perhaps I need to tweak my thinking. One of the last bits of advice that my father gave me before he passed on was that I needed to lose weight and fix myself up. He was worried about my single status. He was right, of course. Dad died in 1994. I STILL need to do those things, if only just to lift myself out of the doldrums, but sometimes I just don't care!

So there you have it. If you are a rich old man without a family who wants to take me away from all of this and have a relationship on my terms, give me a call!