Here I Go Again...

Those of you who actually take the time to read my mind-ramblings in this blog are probably tired of reading about my cleaning attempts and failures. Sorry 'bout that, but can you endure one more??

When Megan and Denis went up to northern Illinois in July in order to find a place to live so they could send for their furnishings to be shipped to an address, I had already prepared a list of things to send up with them so they could survive sufficiently in an empty house until that happened. I sent pots and pans, some cooking utensils and cutlery, some bed linen and pillows, bath towels, etc. Then when the children and I went up a week later, I took kids' clothes, sleeping bags, air mattress, pillows, some toys, etc. You get the picture. When their household effects arrived, all of what I took up had to come home with me and get put away...

Then, last week, as I was preparing for overnight company, some things that hadn't been put away and/or didn't have a convenient place to be, got put in my bedroom. (That's one of the things I have always done to sabotage myself! When in doubt, throw it in my room, and I'll figure out where it goes later!)

Let me explain that I have two bedrooms: the one that used to be the garage that I moved into when Megan and the children moved in with me, and the one that used to be mine before Megan and the children moved in with me. The garage bedroom has a double bed. The old bedroom has a twin bed that is more comfortable for me. Thus, I now sleep in the smaller room, but my clothes are in the garage room...and it gets inconvenient.

Okay...so, since the smaller bedroom had a lot of stuff in it left over from the summer's escapades plus the company-cleaning-binge, I decided today to bring order to the room. Ha! As my granddaughter Robin would say, what was I thinking?? I took out some clothing that the children have outgrown to take to Goodwill. That was one stack. I put some shoes in the closet back there thinking I would then move clothes from the garage to the room. Uh....no. There are two big dressers in the smaller bedroom with 13 roomy drawers. Every stitch of foldable clothing that I own would fit in there with plenty of drawers left for extra storage...except they are full of Megan's stuff! I didn't realize how much! I worked on one drawer and realized that there were too many things that I couldn't just throw away--family tapes, scrapbooking supplies, children's phonics programs,...you get the picture.

So, I did what every strong woman would do: I gave up! I totally "get it" that in order to deep-clean one room, I end up messing up others that are more critical to my sense of well-being. In order to get through this process, I also need to accept that:
1. I have to clean out the garage closet in order to make room for the things in the smaller room.
2. Even after 3-4 years of sorting, organizing, pitching, and cleaning, I still have too much stuff.
3. I am tired of fighting the junk. Every day, I am judging what should stay and what should go. I don't have the funds to pitch it all and start over...
4. I hope to God I don't leave a huge mess for my family to look after when I croak! I need to get at it faster than I am now!

So, for the moment, I'm just cleaning around things and will take it slowly. Again.