The Lap of Luxury

You probably know the feeling of coveting thy neighbor's things.  (That's biblical talk for envying what other people have, in case I'm being too hoity-toity here.)  And you may have thought to yourself, "If I just had that, I could die happy.  It would be the 'lap of luxury.' "  I've been there, but life happened before I could get stupid about it.  I became a realist, understanding that what I wanted and what I was going to have were two different things.  I learned to be (somewhat) happy with what I had, depending on how hard I'd had to work for it.  For instance, when my spouse and I divorced, I had to buy everyday dishes.  I bought some Corell dishes that I liked.  They were reasonable and fashionable then.  I can't really stand them now, 21 years later, but there isn't a single chip or crack in any of them, so I can't see throwing them out in favor of buying new.  If I had an unlimited income, I could justify it.  Still, that would seem wasteful to me...and I guess I am yet a product of my parents' generation that deemed it sinful to waste anything.

Today, I was thinking about all of the things that I once considered luxurious, and why. 

1.  When I was a young child, my sister was a pretty teenager of dating age.  Mom made Shari take me with her on some of her dating excursions, and I'm sure I became a pain in her side.  (It's hard to be romantic with a beau if your little sister is in tow!)  One place I could not go with her were to dances.  She looked so dreamy in her dresses, and I wanted to look just like her.  One dress that I can remember was a black taffeta A-line dress with embroidered polka-dots.  I made my mother save that dress after Shari moved on,  in hopes that I could wear it someday and look like Shari.  Unfortunately, my sister and I weren't built the same.  I never could wear that dress when I was old enough to do so and have it look the same as I remembered on Shari.  I did, however, wear a strapless white floofy hand-me-down formal that had been saved...but, again, I just didn't do it justice.  (I have pictures.  No magic there!) 

2.  In my first marriage, my hubby and I bought a townhome in the south suburbs of Chicago, in a subdivision that was just being developed.  The main feature, as far as I was concerned, was a built-in fireplace option.  I had never lived in a home with a working fireplace.  I considered fireplaces to be so very romantic, and I desperately wanted one.  My husband didn't.  It added $1,200 to the price of the home (this was in the 70s), but factored out over the life of the loan, would have cost much more.  I acquiesced.  It's just as well.  The marriage didn't last, but the electric space-heater fireplace that we purchased to appease me has been in every one of my homes ever since.

3.  All of my adult life, in every home that had a big window that needed treatment, I wanted custom-made draperies.  Both of my former mothers-in-law had them, and I considered them luxurious.  Ready-made drapes were a whole lot cheaper, but they never hung right.  (I didn't understand back then that it as the way they were hung that made the difference!)  I never, ever got my custom-made drapes...until Megan and I moved into my little house-on-a-slab here in Plainfield.  The bay window in the living room came equipped with beautiful custom-made draperies!  I thought I had died and gone to Heaven...until, over time, the drapes began to show dirt where our two cats pushed between them to avail themselves of the view from the window.  In time, I had to decide if I wanted to spend the mega-bucks to have them dry cleaned...or just chuck them.  (There was no option to simply wash them.)  Thus, the expensive draperies eventually went bye-bye.  It was hard for me to accept, but losing them opened up the room.  I don't have the hundreds of dollars to replace them.  So much for that!

4.  This is going to seem really stupid.  When I was growing up, I had two homes.  My main home was with my parents, wherever we were with the Navy.  My other home was my grandparents' farm in central Illinois...a home that rose out of the ashes of a fire that destroyed the homestead house.  The silverware drawer in both homes had a collection of utensils that didn't match--things that had been donated after the fire--things that had been picked up along the way.  You name it.  I took it upon myself in my early years to be the table-setter.  I wanted things to look pretty.  I wanted silverware to match.  It didn't, to my satisfaction.  I thought it was the lap of luxury to be able to reach into the silverware drawer and be able to pull out a whole table-full of matching utensils.  To this day, I can't have anything in my silverware drawer that doesn't match the rest of the utensils! 

5.  Swimming pools.  I always believed that having a swimming pool on the property was the lap of luxury...but I've know enough people who have them to understand that they are a lot of work and take more dedication and funds than I have.  Heck, I couldn't even maintain the stupid little birdbath-sized fountain in my yard.  What would I have done with a pool...expecially since I am all alone here????

6. Money, money, money!  I had money once...but I gave it all away.  I didn't spend it on me.  I spent it on the people that I love.  And MOST of the things I bought with that money no longer exist.  Still, I keep thinking how much easier life would be if I could go to the doctor and not worry about how the bills will be paid, or be able to buy another car.  I have had occasion to watch television shows about people who win the lottery and still go broke.  I get it. 

What I have come to understand is that the "lap of luxury" is only a perception.  The vast majority of us human beings will never live luxuriously, and we accept what we have been given with gratitude.  Does it stop the envy?  No!  At this point, I just try to treasure what I have--at least the things that are important--and let the rest go.  Hey...nobody is perfect!