Living Alone, for Dummies

Once upon a time, my former spouse and I would go spelunking--"caving" for the uninitiated.  Central Indiana is littered with over 500 natural caves due to water soluble limestone.  Many of the caves have been primitively mapped by the US Geological Survey, and before we ventured out on our first trip, we stopped at IU in Bloomington at the USGS office to get copies of those maps.

The first order of a spelunking trip is telling someone where you are going and when you plan to be back.  (Duh!)  The second is to have (at least) three forms of light because--bottom line--there is NO light in caves.  Your eyes never adjust to the dark even to see shadows because, without light, there are no shadows to be seen.  You are, in essence, totally blind in unfamiliary territory, many feet underground in a pasture somewhere, with no one around to hear your cries for help.  People die that way.  Thus, redundancy of light sources is the order of the day. 

Living alone is a little like that--flying blind in uncharted waters.  Regardless of the circumstances that made you alone or how well you function that way, things have a different flavor.  I've always done quite well, but after the brain aneurysm and the heart attack, and my daughter's move to California (and now Illinois), I realized I had to make a network.  All of my blood relatives are four hours away.  I have had to consider that if things went seriously wrong, I would have to function on my own.  I still have work to do to make it easier for everyone, including me, but thinking things thoroughly through is the first step.

There are times when my grandchildren, both young, are here with me, alone.  I have made and posted on my refrigerator, a sheet that gives instructions and information, including my address, emergency numbers (both local and distant), a list of my allergies and medications, and the location of my brain clip and heart stent in my body.  If I should fall ill, all the children would need to do is call 911, unlock the front door, and hand the responders the sheet.  Sounds simple enough.  I also sent copies of this emergency sheet to everyone on the list, so everyone else has the numbers and information.  Redundancy.

For quite awhile, I had no phone in my bedroom.  Bad idea.  In an emergency, I would need one by the bed.  Took care of that two years ago with a requested Christmas present from my daughter.  As long as the power is on, I have a phone next to my bed. 

I have selected two people to have keys to my house.  One is a neighbor.  The other is my friend Judy and her husband, Phil, just across town.  Those are listed on the emergency sheet.  My daughter, of course, has one...

So much for the emergency situations.  What about other considerations?
FOOD is one.  As a veteran aloner, I advise not to buy any fresh fruit or produce that you can't consume in a week.  It requires more trips to the store as you need things, but otherwise, you will be throwing out a lot.  I still buy milk by the gallon, even though I can't drink/use a gallon in a week or two.  Sometimes, I have to throw out whole unopened gallons....but the farmers need the money and milk is a staple that you need when you need it.  (Half gallons aren't as economical and usually have an earlier expiration date.)  Besides milk, the only other thing I have trouble keeping is celery.  I can't use it up fast enough.  End up throwing out more than I use, darn it!  It doesn't keep as well as onions and certainly doesn't freeze. 

CELL PHONES are great, but (in my estimation) they don't cover for a land-line phone.  My daughter and her husband only have cell phones.  When I am there, I'm aware that when they leave the house, the only way for me (or anyone else) to have contact with the outside world is if MY cell phone is on....which it never is, unless I am on the road.  My cell phone is a dinosaur. Reception is fair, at best...  I just do what I can, but I do need to look at that situation a bit more...

FEAR is an issue.  There are so many people in the world who are so afraid of being alone that they unconsciously run from it all their lives.  It's sad, really.  Sooner or later, through death or divorce, we will all be alone, sometime.  It does take some adjustment if you aren't used to it, but it doesn't have to be something to fear.  I have amateur radio, church friends and interests, a small network of friends, the Internet, and (of course) family that keeps me busy.  I keep a TV on in at least one room all the time for background noise.  I don't miss someone to do my laundry or cook my meals because I've always done that for myself!  The best part now is that I can do those things when and if I wish.  No one looking over my shoulder demanding things.  I like that I!  I have never been afraid of being alone in the house.  I got that independence from my mother and grandmother, and maybe a little from my dad who shook my hand on the day I graduated from college, saying "I've done everything I can for you.  The rest is up to you."  How right he was!

SERENDIPITOUS EVENTS happen.  What do you do when all of your well-laid plans fail?  You rely on the goodness of people around you!  I have yet to be let down.  Three times, I have had young men stop along the roadside to change my flat tires.  Once, a semi-driver stopped to pick up my daughter and I on an interstate when my car broke down (just as a state policeman drove by without stopping).  Once, an African -American woman stopped when I had a breakdown, just to check to see that I'd be okay.  (I was.)  Alone doesn't mean ALONE.  Sometimes, it just means "different".  One way or another, you'll "get it"!