I am writing this blog entry by way of response to a "forward" I received from a fellow Christian friend--a person whose faith, honesty, and integrity I admire greatly. I'm not sure she asked for this, but here it is!
My friend sent out an internet story to the members of our adult Sunday school class. The story is of a high school student in Tennessee who was supposedly suspended for saying "God bless you" to a classmate who had sneezed, and was disciplined for using "godly speech" in class. At first glance, the story smacked of an Internet hoax to me, designed to make it appear that the student's religious and Constitution rights had been abridged. The intent of the piece making the rounds was to arouse the ire of Christians who believe that Christianity is under attack in this country--and particularly in schools. Having been in the classroom "trenches" for 40 years (and having just taught two adult Sunday school lessons on separation of church and state, and prayer in public schools), I am probably as qualified as anyone to look into the validity of the tale to determine what commentator Paul Harvey would have called "the rest of the story".
But first, allow me to relate a story that happened to me, as a teacher in the real world:
I was teaching 11th or 12th grade English (can't remember which) to a class of mostly boys. (As happens sometimes, there were only four girls in that class. The rest were males of the species who had no use for English as we know it, and even less regard for literature!) I dreaded seeing that class walk in the door every day because I never knew what I would be up against by way of discipline. As parents, we learn to pick our battles with our children; as their teacher, I had to do the same. I decided early on that I wasn't going to make English scholars of those boys, but if I could simply "keep the lid on", the parents and the administration would be grateful to me. I endeavored to get them through the year successfully (by passing), and hoped that something I said or did during their one period per day with me would rub off and they'd accidentally learn something--anything--that they could take with them. Getting and keeping their attention was exhausting business and tenuous, at best.
One particularly frustrating day, I was attempting to teach a lesson when, right in the middle of my speaking, one of my young Lochinvars leaned sideways in his desk and loudly passed gas, grinning from ear-to-ear, while the rest of the class erupted in response. Had it been an accident--had the kid been the least bit embarrassed by it--I could have made a joke and moved on. This, however, was deliberate. I took it as total disrespect to me and an effort to derail my lesson. I issued the boy an after-school detention and moved on--or tried to. Immediately, another student loudly protested in front of the whole class. He argued that I had no right to issue the original culprit a punishment because passing gas is a "natural function" and "can't be helped", etc. I tried to calm him down but it escalated, and the whole class was watching to see what I was going to do about this new disruption. Finally, I assigned HIM an after-school detention, as well, explaining that we could talk about it later when he had settled down. The first youngster didn't serve his detention. I think his mother came in and talked to the administration and got his detention waived. (Not sure.) The detention for the second boy wasn't served, either, which meant he got three detentions to replace the one he refused to serve. This was a problem for him because he was an Office Aide, and Office Aides were supposed to keep their noses clean or lose the privilege of assisting in the office. Next thing I knew, I was called to a three-way conference with his mother and the Assistant Principal after school a day or two later.
At first, the mother was hot. She demanded to know what punishment the other boy got for his part as the initiator of the incident. (I think she wanted me to admit that the other boy hadn't served his detention so she could argue that her boy shouldn't have to, either.) I had to tell her that I was not at liberty to discuss another student's disciplinary situation any more than she would want me talking to other parents about her boy's situation. We talked about what went on for awhile and then, the Asst. Principal took his leave for the day, making the mother and I search for another place to finish our conference. (So much for administrative support!) Before it was all over, I explained to her that, had her son talked to me about his concerns privately instead of in front of the class, none of this would have transpired. I would have handled it all differently had he not put me smack-dab in the middle of a power struggle that I wasn't about to lose in front of that class. She confessed that her son had a bit of a temper...and we went on to talk about other things about her boy. I asked if she knew that he considered himself responsible as the Man of the House after his father/her husband deserted them all. That softened her. She had not known this but said it explained many things that had been going on at home. She realized in that moment that her son had trusted me enough to talk to me about it, that I actually cared about him, and that things aren't always as they appear. I think it opened up communications between them because, a couple of days later, the boy caught me in the hallway, confessed his temper and apologized, while I confessed to him that I would have handled things differently had I not felt cornered. I never had another moment's trouble with that young man. In fact, he became my staunch supporter to the class!
So...things aren't always as they appear. (This was in the days before the Internet. Can you imagine the story had it been tweeted? STUDENT SUSPENDED FOR A NATURAL BODY FUNCTION. ANOTHER STUDENT SUSPENDED FOR SUPPORTING HIM. I would have been condemned in the Court of Public Opinion!)
But I digress. Back to the "God bless you" story. Turns out, the story is not an Internet hoax. It actually happened just a few days ago, but not the way people are taking it--the way it appears, rather than what actually happened. Let's try to make sense of it.
First of all, people don't say "God bless you" to someone who has sneezed because they were taught to do so by their religion or their pastors. The custom has nothing to do with religion but rather an ancient superstition that we are close to death when we sneeze. Blessing the sneezer somehow wards off evil spirits. Then, too, I wonder how loudly the "bless you" was said. Was it a quiet little blessing so that only the person who sneezed heard...or was it out loud and disruptive? What was going on at the time? Was the teacher speaking/teaching? Were classmates studying? The circumstances probably had a lot to do with the consequences.
Secondly, the student was not suspended for the day. She was merely kept out of the remainder of that one class period. (Oh, how many times I sent students to the office for the remainder of a period because their disruptions were making it impossible for me to teach and the other students to learn!) She could have been in In-School Suspension for 45 minutes, or 20, or 5. The news story doesn't say, and it doesn't really matter.
Thirdly, the student says she was sent to the office, while "the office" said she walked out of class and went to the office on her own. Again, it doesn't matter. The end result was the same in either case.
Lastly--and most importantly to me--the student was not disciplined for what she said but for the confrontation that she made of it in front of the class. (Witness the fact that the rest of the class period had to be attended by the administration because the kids became unruly as a result...and this pleased the offender.) The teacher felt cornered and disrespected. The kid felt empowered. Here are her own words, taken directly from the Internet (emphasis hers):
A girl sitting right next me sneezed in class. I said “Bless You!” My teacher, Mrs. Kindle, asked “Who said that?” I said “me.” She said “Why did you say that?” I said “Because it is courtesy.” She said “Says who?” I said “Says my pastor.” She said “Well we don’t say that in my class.”
I asked her why it was a big deal to her. She yelled at me and said “We will not have Godly speaking in my class!” That is when I stood up and said “My pastor said I have a constitutional right -1st amendment freedom of speech.” She said “Not in my class you don’t.”
I said “I will defend my religion.” She said “You will not in my class because I trump everyone.” Then another student stepped in and said “You don’t over trump God.” So she sent me to the office and the assistants principal said “if I didn’t want to respect my teachers rules then maybe My pastor should teach me because my freedom or speech and religion does not work at their school.
Then they sent me to ISS (in school suspension). After I left the class room all my class mates stood up and defended me the teacher had to call assistants principal to control the class.
We can all be armchair quarterbacks. Woulda/coulda/shoulda. The teacher framed a power struggle. The student resisted, vehemently. The rest of us weren't there and did not witness the event. We are left to glean the truth from whatever details we can get. My personal opinion is that this incident has nothing to do with religion or even freedom of speech. It has to do with classroom management, and BOTH parties were wrong. It has been blown way out of proportion, and those who have an agenda are using it to fuel their own insecurities about what they perceive is going on in our country today. I'm not saying they are wrong; I'm simply saying that things are not always as cut-and-dried as they appear.
May cooler heads prevail, and............God bless you! :)
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