If It Ain't Broke...

I am convinced that there are product manufacturers and politicians that don't have enough to do in order to achieve their fifteen minutes of fame, so they sit around in the dark at night thinking up ways to make "new and improved" products/laws designed to make themselves look good.  I'll be the first to admit that we have come a long way in this country as a result of fixing things that don't work for society, and I'll also be the first to complain when they hit the target but miss the bull's-eye.  Some things just "ain't broke", so why fix them?

I'm not usually a whiner.  Really.  I'm not--although you can't tell it by reading my blog.  Many of the things that come across as whining are really just my way of trying to put a humorous spin on my frustrations...which is what I am trying to do today.  If you are reading this and don't care to deal with a complaining old woman (just call me Maxine), move on!

Just for the sake of my blood pressure, I'll take politicians out of my rant today.  That's lucky for me AND my readers.  I'd hate to be found dead from a stroke sitting in front of my computer, and I'm sure people who actually read my mind ramblings will feel a sense of relief that I'm not rambling about politicians today.  Instead, I'm griping about product "improvements" that just don't cut it.

What started this?  I am constantly looking for ways to cut back on things that are unhealthy in my dietary must haves.  For years and years, I have used I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light.  Butter (or margarine, as it were) is one of my failings.  I slather it on potatoes, toast, squash, and veggies of all kinds.  The more, the better.  I had tried all of the lighter-fat and fat-free spreads.  None of them hit the mark for me, until my daughter turned me on to ICBINB Light.  Good stuff!  I couldn't tell the difference from the full-fat margarines/butter.  It was just my little mind game that I could use almost as much as I wanted because it was lower in fat and calories but still excellent.  Until now. Someone(s) at the company decided to "improve" the product with a "simpler recipe".  HA!  It no longer melts properly, tastes like lard, doesn't have enough salt, and generally doesn't meet the previous products pluses.  Now, I am thrown into a hunt for another product to do what the old one used to do.  I can't tell you how disappointed I am about that.

This whole thing isn't just about buttery spreads.  Let's talk about low-flow toilets.  The powers-that-be decided sometime awhile back that toilets waste a lot of water every time they are flushed.  Bad for the environment.  They determined that the family toilet didn't need a bunch of water in it, nor did it need much for the flushing process.  Thus, we got a new generation of toilets that uses a fraction of the water that the old ones used.  As it happens, I replaced the main toilet in my house with a new one a number of years ago.  This new commode still uses more water than the even-newer ones do, but it isn't a good thing.  Consider that it frequently takes two flushes for the contents to go down properly...and then there is the fact that it takes two flushes when--how shall I put this nicely?--there are, shall I say, skid marks in the bowl because of the low water level.  Two-for-one flushes?  Are we still saving water with low-flow toilets?  Convince me!  Oh...and never before have I been in so many homes where the toilet plunger had to be housed in the bathroom because it has to be used so often. I'm not particularly pleased with the trade-off.

And what about toilet paper?  How does one improve on toilet paper?  I mean, TP is about as primitive as it gets, only a step up from leaves or the Sears catalog.  (My father was an officer on a troop transport ship during the Korean Conflict.  He told the story that they were transporting prisoners of war on board, with latrines on deck and TP next to each hole.  He told me, in awe and disgust, that the Korean prisoners used their fingers to wipe their bottoms, then used the TP to wipe their fingers!)  So how do we perfect something as basic as toilet paper--something that gets flushed when used, never to be seen again (unless you have a low-flow toilet)?  Well, over the years, the paper has been made softer, then stronger, then the rolls got bigger to the point at which some of them wouldn't fit in the bathroom holders.  Now, one brand has removed the core roll as being wasteful.  (Some may be too young to remember when "bath tissue"--the euphemism for toilet paper--came in colors to match the bathroom decor, but when it became known that the dye would cause irritation down there, it went back to basic white.)  My tissue of choice became Charmin because it was soft and strong and all of the other "new and improved" things.  Until my plumber, whom I was coming to know on a first-name basis, asked what I was using.  Apparently Charmin doesn't break up in the sewer system fast enough to keep things unplugged for long.  He recommended Angel Soft, which I have used exclusively ever since.  What my bottom loses in softness, my pocketbook gains in fewer calls to the plumber.  Softer and stronger isn't necessarily better, but tell that to the American consumer.

Years ago, I settled on a make-up foundation that really worked for me.  It was a product of one of the major cosmetic companies--L'Oreal or Revlon or some such--and was called "Moisture Wear".  It was the perfect color for my skin and spread/blended nicely on my face, and gave my skin a dewy look that I liked.  I used it for years.  And then, one day, when I went to buy more, it was nowhere to be found.  Gone.  The company had discontinued it, suggesting another new and improved product as a replacement.  Needless to say, the substitute just didn't work for me.  I was thrust into a search for something else that would.  I spent lots of money looking for just the right one, and finally ended up having to buy expensive Clinique foundation ($27 for a little bottle) because I couldn't find anything. Same thing with lipstick.  I had a lipstick that wouldn't rub off after a whole day in the classroom, but it disappeared too, replaced by some liquid stuff that makes my lips dry.  Ugh!

So now, we have curly light bulbs.  The new bulbs use less energy to create more light and supposedly last longer.  Good for the environment.  Regular incandescent bulbs are being replaced by these.  We are told that, sooner or later, incandescent bulbs will no longer be available.  The problem with this for me is that my house burns out bulbs on a regular/rapid basis--curly ones as fast as regular ones--yet the new bulbs are at least four times more expensive than regular.  I've put in inquiries about the bulb-burnout to places online, only to find out that the electricians just don't know why this happens.  And the upshot?  The curly bulbs are filled with mercury vapor so that, if one breaks, you are supposed to air out the house...and they have to be disposed of as toxic waste. What?? One night last summer, my grandson was here and fell asleep on the couch.  I left him there under a blanket.  Unfortunately, he throws his arms up over his head in his sleep, knocked over a lamp, which broke a curly bulb...and no one was awake to air out the house.  Are we all going to die of mercury poisoning????

My message is simple: if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  Let sleeping dogs lie.  No harm; no foul.  Don't poke the bear.  How many other cliches apply?  Do consumers actually control this country...or does big business have the reins?  I want my happy little products back!