Making Lasagna

Here is my recipe for making lasagna.  If you wish to make it just like I do, be sure to follow the directions carefully.

PEGGY'S LASAGNA:
Directions:
1.  Chop an onion on a cutting board.  Leave the dirty cutting board and knife on the counter.
2.  In a large skillet, brown a pound of hamburger.  Add the onion toward the end of the process.
3.  Drain off the fat by using paper towels and tongs to soak up the fat.  Put the grease-soaked paper towels in the empty hamburger package and leave on top of the stove.
4.  Empty a container of ricotta cheese into a mixing bowl.  Add one egg and mix thoroughly.  Set aside, making sure that the cheese carton remains on the counter.
5.  Prepare a 9 x 13 baking pan by spooning 1/4 cup of a jar of spaghetti sauce in the bottom.  Add most of the rest of the sauce to the hamburger/onion mixture in the skillet, saving just a little for the top of the lasagna layers later.  Leave the spaghetti sauce jar and lid, plus the measuring cup and spoon, on the top of the stove with the greasy paper towel ensemble.
6.  Place lasagna noodles in bottom of the baking pan, overlapping slightly.
7.  Spread half of the ricotta cheese/egg mixture on top of noodles, leaving the spoon in the mixing bowl.
8.  Spread about one-third of the hamburger/sauce mixture on top of the ricotta by spooning it out of the skillet on top of the stove to the baking pan, trying to get the baking pan as close to the skillet as you can without pushing the bottles of cleaners, pills, vinegar, and other things that are already on the counter out of the way.  Be sure to slop the sauce/meat mixture on the stove, the counter, and edges of the baking pan.
9.  Sprinkle grated parmesan cheese and shredded mozzarella cheese over the layer.  Keep the cheese containers handy near the sink.
10.  Place another layer of noodles on top of the first layer, and repeat steps 7, 8, and 9.  Leave the dirty, ricotta mixing bowl on the counter.  When reaching for the mozzarella cheese package, be sure to knock the spoon out of the dirty ricotta bowl onto the floor.
11.  Place another layer of noodles on top, as before.  Top with the remainder of the meat/sauce mixture.  Sprinkle with more parmesan and cover all with mozzarella.
12.  Cover the baking dish with foil, but first find the foil that is buried in the wrapping drawer under the plastic wrap.  Leave both foil and plastic wrap cartons on the counter.
13.  Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes, then uncover and cook for 10 more minutes.  After baking, let the baking pan "set" for at least 10 minutes.  Oh yeah...I forgot: preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
14.  Enjoy!

After-cooking instructions for much later after everything has had a chance to dry hard on surfaces:
1.  Get out a garbage bag.  Throw away the meat packaging that contains the greasy paper towels, the spaghetti sauce jar and lid, the ricotta cheese carton and lid, the lasagna noodle box, and the mozzarella cheese package.
2.  Empty the dishwasher.
3.  Place the skillet, mixing bowl, measuring cups, cutting board, knife, and spreading-spoons in the sink to soak.
4.  Soak the dried sauce/meat spilled on the stove and counter with 409 spray or other cleaner of your choice.
5.  Rinse the pans, bowls, and utensils in the sink and place in the dishwasher.
6.  Run the garbage disposer.
7.  Put away the plastic wrap and aluminum foil.
8.  Clean the soaked sauce mixture from stove and counter.  Use cleaner with bleach if necessary.
9.  This is very important:  rejoice in the fact that you don't fix lasagna very often!