Profanity

As a classroom teacher once upon a time, I began each school year with my lecture about what my class rules were.  One of them was that I would not accept profanity in my class, nor would I accept less-than-profane-but-almost-equally-unacceptable use of crass vocabulary.  (For example, if I student came to me and said, "I have to go pee," I wouldn't give permission to leave the room until the request was made more socially acceptable.)  My usual comment was, if you wouldn't say it to your minister or your grandmother, don't say it to me.  (Of course, that was usually followed with, "You don't know my grandma!")

Without fail, during the course of that class, one or more students would ask, "Who decides what is a bad word and what isn't?  They are just words, so what's the big deal?"  I was ready for that.  I pointed out that "bad words" are divided into two classes--curses and profanity.  Curses are more religiously oriented--hell and damn--with which a person wishes ill on someone else by condemning them to eternal damnation in Hell.  Profanity, however, refers to body parts, bodily functions, and sexual acts--all of which polite society used to consider as private.  If it's okay to use those terms in public, why is it NOT okay to DO those things in public?  Why do we have gender-separate bathrooms?  Why not just drop your trousers and defecate in public?  No?  Why?  Or...perhaps you'd rather just talk about it in graphic, profane words.  What's the difference?

One reason to refrain from using profanity is to keep a civil society.  If we all give in to profane/crass language, where do we go from there?  If you call someone a motherf'er, what's left?  What's beyond that?  And if one uses that kind of language in a minor situation, what will be available in a worse one?  When I was active in dramatic productions, I was always coached not to go to the ultimate in volume or drama because there would be nothing left for other situations.  I took that to heart.

We all--every stinkin' one of us--knows the words.  Choosing to use them or not is what makes the difference.  Over the last couple of months, I've done battle with a dear relative over her choice of language.  She wasn't raised the way she comes across, but she thinks that she should be accepted for whatever comes out of her mouth, no matter how much disrespect it creates.  I'm sorry.  I love her too much to accept it.  Disrespect?  Using those words means she has no other resources.  Profanity means there is nowhere else to go to express oneself.  It spells disrespect for the recipient and disrespect for the self.  Some of us--although the number is dwindling--would like to keep respect as part of our family heritage.

I will not dishonor my parents' and grandparents' memory by giving in to the "gift" of unleashed profanity.  When my generation dies out, polite society may also.  I don't know.  I'm no prude, but I DO understand that a curse word here or there is a whole lot more effective when used sparingly.  I refuse to give in to today's so-called standards.  So I'm a dinosaur!