Wake Up, Women of America!

This post is a little bit about Donald Trump, our 45th President, but it is mostly about American women and where we go from here.

Prior to his election--maybe even a couple of years prior--Mr. Trump was caught saying these things.  (The language is his, not mine.)  And I quote:

"I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look. I’ve gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything… Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything." 

Let's look at this objectively.  Take out the fact that this man would go on to run for the highest office in the land and win by electoral votes.  What's wrong with this?  I mean, he's a man, right?  Boys will be boys, right?  Here's my take:

1.  He knows gutter words, and he knows how to use them.  Congratulations.  That puts him on a par with almost every junior high level male on the planet whose mommy didn't teach him that it's not nice to use those words in public.

2.  He has no respect for the institution of marriage.  The woman to whom he refers was married, which apparently makes her a challenge for conquest rather than a person.

3.  He can't control his sexual impulses.  If he can't control those, what other impulses can he not control?

4.  He objectifies the woman in question.  She is reduced to an image, complete with references to her breasts and beauty.  Nothing at all about her character or brains.

5.  He recognizes that, because he is a "star", he can get away with anything--even sexual assault.  He seems to see women as his personal groupies.

I've seen #5 before.  Had an obese colleague in a school in Illinois once (in the early 70s) who told me I would "make pretty babies".  When I called him on how offensive that would be to other women who might not be as close to him as I was, he told me that no one ever took him seriously because he was fat.  Thus, he could get away with it.  In an instant, I knew he was right.   And so it is with Donald Trump.  He is rich.  That gives him privilege to be an ass.  When his quote came out in the media, he didn't apologize.  He didn't say that he was sorry if he offended anyone.  He dismissed his words as "locker room" talk, as if that made it all better.

Now here is the crux of my message:  D. Trump is right.  "And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.  Grab them by the pussy.  You can do anything."
Every time a man cheats on his wife, he is cheating WITH someone.  Some other woman has chosen to believe his lies or cooperate with them--or maybe even create them for him.  For whatever reason, they have given up the only thing they truly own in life--their bodies--to men who use them.  Then they are totally shocked and hurt when the man disappears, and they are left alone and lonely.  Here's a newsflash: it takes two to tango.  You can't be left behind, alone and pregnant, if you don't get pregnant in the first place, if you catch my drift.

I am a woman.  I am the mother of a woman, and the grandmother of a woman.  It pains me that the leader of our country has shown himself to be guided by his penis rather than his brain, but it pains me more to know that we, as women, continue to fall into the trap.

What is the trap??  Sexism and misogyny are so ingrained into our national fiber that neither men nor women even recognize it when it smacks them in the face.  My ex never failed to comment on a female newscaster's appearance but did not do so for male newscasters. I've seen the same sentiment a hundredfold later with candidate Hillary Clinton.  Even got an email from a radio friend telling me that I should give Mrs. Clinton lessons in appearance because the "last time [he] saw her, she looked like a bag lady".  (I confess that I cracked up on that.  I asked him when it was he last saw her.  State dinner?  Meeting at the Executive Office?  Then told him that the next time I saw her, I'd be sure to give her tips on how to spiff herself up because we all know that the way we look is more important than what we do when we are female!)

How guilty are we, as women?  Pretty guilty!  Not so much with middle class ladies, but if you are rich and famous and get to rub elbows with other rich and famous people?  VERY guilty!  Look at the Kardashians.  Need I say more??  Women of America, no one can take advantage of you if you won't let them.  Women of America, stop going to bed with men who are going to desert you the minute something is expected of them.  Women of America, don't stop marching.  If you think old rich men are going to stand up for you, think again!  Women of America, stop waiting for these rich old men to "give" you rights that are already yours for the taking.  The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.