Protecting Kids

If you are reading this, I am guessing that you are older than 12-years-old, which means that you were 12 once.  What do you remember about it?  Did you do dumb stuff?  Did you think you were invincible because you were still under your parents' protection but were beginning to feel the urge to express your independence?  Did you totally understand why you did anything you did?  Assuming you came from a "normal" non-abusive family, would you expect the childish decisions you made back then to follow you for the rest of your years?  No?  Why?  Because you were a CHILD.  Because you were immature.  Because your brain was still growing, and you were unable to comprehend the long-term consequences of your youthful decisions.

Statutory rape laws in this country address this very thing.  According to law, a person below a certain age, no matter how emotionally mature, is not capable of giving consent to having sex with an adult.  And the names of victims of statutory rape are not revealed so that what happened to them doesn't taint their future.  (That's the theory, anyway.)

Several weeks ago, a 7th grader at a Noblesville, IN, school shot up a classroom, injuring the teacher and critically injuring another student.  Although his name and face are known to the locals in Noblesville, to this day, the rest of us have no clue who the perpetrator was.  The media can't/won't report it.  Why?  Because he was a child making an adult decision.  Should his decision affect the rest of his life?  It will, whether it should or not...but no one needs to help that along.

Someone near and dear to my life was "outed" on Facebook a few days ago for something that happened three years ago...when she was 12.  The person who spilled the beans was someone who should have cared and should have known--a close adult.  When the CHILD asked the person to cease and desist, she was given a virtual middle finger...told that the poster had "freedom of speech" and would just make sure that the child would no longer see what the adult posted.  So how are we supposed to teach our kids to respect authority when authority doesn't give a big rip?  Pretty sad, really.

I have lost every vestige of respect that I had for the poster  At this point, the child is acting more mature than the adult.  Not my circus; not my monkeys...but, if I were asked to choose sides, I would vote in favor of the kid.  We aren't talking about a school shooter here.  We are talking about a child who put herself at risk in an effort to get the hell out of a bad situation, part of which had to do with the adult in question.

I'm being deliberately vague here because I have no desire to spill beans that aren't mine to spill.  Those involved will recognize themselves, although I am 100% certain that the adult will not admit to any wrongdoing....yet virtually thumbing one's nose at a child who asks that private information not be shared publicly is just wrong.

I have no clue how things will shake out in this relationship in the future, but I don't foresee anything good--which is a shame because I really do think the adult worked very hard to make things work in the face of nasty circumstances.  She was hurt by the outcome.  I get that.  What I don't get is why she can't just admit her hurt, accept responsibility for the way she feels, and make a clean slate for the future.  The child is expected to do that.  Why not the adult?

I won't be writing about this again.  I'm just still appalled at all that I've seen and heard in the last few days.  May cooler heads prevail!