Salvation?

Eleven years ago this month--July of 2007--I survived a ruptured brain aneurysm.  I still don't know why.  I was visiting at my sister's near Springfield, IL.  Was violently sick to my stomach, with a horrible headache.  My neck also hurt.  I didn't even feel well enough to let my sister take me to medical care until the middle of the next afternoon.   I just thought I had picked up a mega-bug.

The next day, a trip to prompt care sent me to a hospital for a CT scan on my head...and the rest is history.  I was life-lined to Peoria's St. Francis Hospital to their neuroscience department and found myself in the ICU.  A full day after that, I experienced a craniotomy so the aneurysm could be clipped.

My ICU roommate was a woman who didn't survive her ruptured brain aneurysm.  She was being kept alive for organ transplant purposes.  I didn't know this.  I had commented to my male nurse that I didn't want to disturb her with the TV.  His comment was, "I WISH you could disturb her.  She had the same thing you have, but she didn't make it."  My surgeon's nurse came to me before surgery to let me know that I was, so far, one of only 20% of sufferers to survive a brain bleed like mine without disabilities.  She said that 60% of ruptured aneurysm victims don't even make it to the hospital.  At no time did I ever think I was going to die.  I was a fool.  I could have died...should have died...and would have died had something or someONE not stopped the bleeding in my head long enough for surgery to take place.

Did I get lucky?  Why should I get lucky then?  I'd never been lucky before!
And no one was praying for me because no one, including my poor daughter, even knew I was in trouble.  I was praying, of course, but more for relief than salvation.  I just wanted the nausea to stop because I had no clue how seriously ill I was.  My dear sister was just doing what she had to do to get me to a doctor.  I'm not sure she had time to pray.  It all happened so fast... 

 No, I was saved by God's grace.  The Creator of the universe had somehow decided that He wasn't finished with me yet.  I have no clue why.  I've never done anything exemplary.  I haven't lived a sinless life.  I'm not a stellar example of how to live.  What God gave me that day, besides life, was reason to believe that I still had work to do before it was my turn to go.  I'm not always sure what that work is, but I'm trying to understand, even all these years later.

I'll get there, Lord.  Please be patient with me!