What Happens to Hurricanes?

On March 9th of this year, I made a post on this blog about having brunch with my friend Ryan and his wife, Bonnie, entitled "Breakfast with Hurricane Bonnie".  After I wrote it, I shared it with Ryan, who liked it so much that he shared it with Bonnie's five sisters.

Bonnie, the focus of the post, has Lewy Body Dementia and is also mostly blind.  She is a mere shell of her former self, but Ryan kept her at home, caring for her every need.  It isn't always pretty when a man is in charge of a woman's care, but the man did everything he could, in spite of horrible knee pain.  He could barely get around.

I've had a tiny bit of experience with caregivers of folks with dementia.  What I wrote in that old post was:  "There is no happy ending.  This is one of those progressive things that only ends with the loss of a loved one, cognitively, long before he/she is gone, physically."

What I didn't anticipate was that the ending would be so different than what one would expect.

Ryan finally decided to have knee replacement surgery.  He couldn't be laid up with no one to care for Bonnie, so he planned ahead, putting Bonnie in the same nursing home/rehab center where he would be for his convalescence until they could both go home.  This was an out-of-pocket expense.  He figured two weeks, max.  He had the surgery this past Monday and was reportedly recovering nicely...and then he died. Bonnie didn't die; Ryan did. 

Never mind that my heart is broken.  My own feelings aside, what is to become of Bonnie now?  The only person who loved her unconditionally--in spite of her children--is gone.  I know just enough about dementia sufferers to comprehend that there is just enough cognitive comprehension left for them to know things aren't good.  The last time I saw Bonnie, she wept and apologized about her upset when her food didn't come soon enough.  She knew her reaction wasn't "right"...

Will they tell Bonnie that Ryan is gone?
If they do, will she understand?
Does she know that she will never be able to go home again?
Who will care for her?  Will they actually care about her??
What will go on in her scrambled brain?  
What is to become of this woman whose very life has been in the hands of a man who just died?
Do those of us who live in a normal world have any comprehension about the world of those who simply can't help themselves?  Do we throw them away??

Although it goes against my grain, I am praying for Bonnie--for God's mercy.  You may translate that however you wish.  There is no happy ending for her.  I just pray that this woman doesn't outlive her husband for long.  He gave everything he had to help her.  I ask the Good Lord to make things easier for her, and him posthumously.  

And may God have mercy on us all.