Gotta Keep Laughing

 The simplest things make me laugh to myself these days.  It's a blessing because the simplest things also make me cry on a daily basis, and I never was a weeper before.  I am now!  Still, I am thankful for the little glitches that bring a smile to my face, even if they aren't FUNNY funny.  Maybe just IRONICALLY funny is enough to keep my personal mirth going.

I have written before about my helper named Debbie.  Technically, she's my "cleaning lady".  (I prefer "housekeeper".)  She cleans my house twice a month and takes care of my yard work, as needed.  But she is actually more than just a housekeeper.  She has become caretaker.  If I raise a red flag, she's right there, with the added bonus that her son, a plumber by trade but handyman by function, has also helped me out in soooo many ways.  But I digress.

One of Debbie's tasks has been to change the burned-out light bulbs under my kitchen ceiling fan.  I don't use the fan much, so the burned bulbs can't be blamed on vibration, but they burn out on a more-than-regular basis.  I try to keep plenty of extra bulbs on hand.  She's just a little slip of a thing who can still stand on a chair to reach the lights.  (Obviously, I can't.)  Wish I had kept records to prove how many times she's had to do that over the last two years!  

This last time, it was a bulb in the light bar over the bathroom medicine cabinet that burned out.  The bulbs are spherical and need to be only 20-25 watts.  (Cheap light bar that I put in years ago.)  I went to Meijer to find replacements but couldn't find any, so I messaged Deb to stop somewhere else and get some for me the next time she came.  She found a four-pack for $4-something at Menard's, then found a four-pack for $2-something at Walmart.  Penny-watcher that she is, she returned the first pack to Menard's for a refund and brought the Walmart pack to me.  That is a lot of effort just to find light bulbs!  But here's the rub:  when she touched the burned out bulb to replace it, it came on.  Apparently, it had been merely loose.  (Someone needs to explain to me how a lightbulb that is never touched can become loose after years of just being there.)  Anyway, we both sort of chuckled about that, but at least I had replacement bulbs now.

The biggest laugh came the next day when that very same bulb burned out for real.  The god of light bulbs had spoken!  "Thou wilt be burned out, whether you or the bulb like it or not!"  That's what I get for thinking I can be in control of anything in life!

Know what else I don't seem to be able to control?  Muh pills.  (There is an old Andy Griffith Show episode in which poor, long-suffering Emma Watson went to the drug store and plunked a dime down on the counter to get a refill of "muh pills".  The new lady druggist--niece of the regular pharmacist--hadn't been in town long enough to know the dynamics of the customers and so refused to refill the pills without a prescription.  Of course, poor Emma languished near death's door, claiming "I will die without muh pills", for a couple of days without them, and everyone in town rallied around her--all against that heartless lady druggist.  Then Ellie [the druggist] miraculously appeared with a refill, explaining to Sheriff Andy that Emma's pills were merely a placebo--sugar pill--something Ellie hadn't known before speaking to her pharmacist uncle.  Emma's psychosomatic life was saved, and Ellie's reputation in town improved greatly.)  And thereafter, I have come to call my daily medications, "muh pills".

Up until I had my heart attack in 2009, considered "mild to moderate", I had always prided myself on not requiring medications.  Yeah...well...life had other plans.  Since then, I take five pills in the morning, and one at night.  Only three of those are prescription drugs.  The other three are supplements recommended by my doctors:  vitamin B12, vitamin D, and a baby aspirin.  I take them faithfully, if not begrudgingly.  

What gripes me more than having to take muh pills is how fast a week goes by.  I did invest in one of those weekly medicine sorter things for AM and PM.  I fill it one week, and the next thing I know, I have to fill it again.  I had a brainstorm.  I'll just put TWO weeks' worth in each little daily compartment, and will know if I did/didn't take that day's meds by whether there are one of each or two of each in the compartment.  Brilliant!  So what is the source of my amusement with this system?

The doggone pills are hard to hold with fingernails.  To get one week's dosage out of the compartments, I have to dig in to bring out one pill of each kind.  Most of the time, I come out with more than one of each, which then have to be returned to the sorter, if I haven't already dropped them out of the palm of my hand.  Before I throw all five in my mouth, I check to make sure that I really do have five pills in my hand and that each one is different.  It is only then that I can knock them back from my palm to my throat and swallow them down.

But not so fast!  I was sitting on the toilet the other day when I noticed what looked like one of muh pills on the floor by the door.  Huh??  Sure enough, it was one of the prescribed ones.  I fill my pill dispenser in the kitchen.  How did this pill make it to the bathroom??  How did this escapee manage to migrate from one room to another...and why?  (The larger question is: did I pick it up to take on another day?  Guess!)  My best conjecture is that the one pill somehow missed my mouth that morning when I knocked them all into my throat to swallow, fell onto my bathrobe unnoticed, and then fell off my robe onto the bathroom floor when I went in that direction.  Why not fall off somewhere else in the house?  Why?  How?  What?

Do I think it's funny?  No...it's hilarious, especially if you take the whole pill situation into consideration.  I've dropped pills before but always knew it when I did.  This time, all I could do was laugh.  Yeah...okay...pills have lives of their own, and I can't fix it!  HAHAHAHA1

If I couldn't find these little amusing things, I would go crazy.  I'm sure there are more to write about, but I get a bit wordy and tend to ramble.  Just please, if you can find anything in life to help lighten your load, rejoice in it.  Gotta keep laughing.  The alternative just isn't much fun.