The Cost of Being Poor

(Private message:  Thinking of you today, Libby--which has nothing to do with today's topic!)

 It's likely happened to all of us in our younger years, unless we were very, very fortunate.  Get in a tight financial spot, then watch it get tighter and tighter as things move forward.  As an example: Accidentally overdraw your bank account.  The bank charges overdraft fees, and so does/do the entities you were trying to pay.  That can add up to $60 or more (if you only bounced one check), on an account that already has a zero balance.  Bounce more than one, and you suddenly owe more than you can easily pay, and puts you less able to pay your bills the next month.  Of course, the answer is to pay more attention to your bank balance, but before online banking came alone, everyone has done it more than once.

I've talked about my friend Bruce who is on the autism spectrum, living in government housing on his own for the first time in his life.  He has no job and no driver's license.  Thus, everything he does has to come at the convenience of others.  It's a tough space to be in, and NOTHING is easy.  

As an example, a few days ago, he informed me that he owed the apartment complex some money for a utility bill that they paid for him.  He had $50 in cash to give to them.  It wasn't enough.  He actually owed $76, and they would not accept the cash as partial payment.  Payment needed to be by personal check or money order.  Well...money orders cost money, and he has no bank checks.  Only a debit card.  (Not sure why he didn't get checks when he opened the account, but oh well!)  I gave him my personal check for $76 to give them and took his $50 cash as payment.  When  he came out of the office, it turns out that he owes another $27 for a bill that slipped through the cracks before he got his gas deposit taken care of...  Thereafter, I took him to his bank to order checks.  The bank doesn't have temporary checks to give and can only send checks in the mail, at a cost of $12-something.  He only has $.40 in the bank...so no checks this time.

All of this takes him exactly back to where he started.  Yes, I could have given him the money for the checks, and yes, I could have given him the money for the gas bill he still owes the apartment complex, but I didn't.  I didn't because he has come to rely on me for more than I can or am willing to give.  I have spent hundreds of $$ to get him set up on his own but not teaching him how to be an adult if I keep caving in to "help".  What am I helping??

Today is another example of that.  He usually gets a $53 check from the apartment complex at the beginning of each month--don't ask me why, but it has something to do with the government funding.  He hasn't received it yet, so today told me that he hadn't, followed by "I don't know what to do."  I've heard this from him before.  What it really means is "save me".  His mother is only, maybe, ten miles away.  I don't know if he talks to her as much as he talks to me.  When he told me he hadn't received his check and didn't know what to do, I said, "Call the office and ask."  Simple enough.  He's not dumb.  He might have thought of it if he weren't leaning on me.  

With establishments crying for workers, Bruce has applied to many.  He never hears back.  There are reasons for that, but what is he to do?  He wants to work.  He needs to work.  But he has a disability that doesn't always make him the best candidate.  So everyone says "Nobody wants to work."  WRONGO!  And how hard it is for him to try to establish life on his own with no job and no way to get there?  

I've been working with Bruce to help himself with the whole driving thing.  I'm all about taking him necessary places, like the BMV, the doctor's office, job interviews, and grocery shopping, but I live 20 minutes away in a different community.  There is only so much I can do.  He is involved in social services, but the only real answer is for Social Security to accept his disability and put him on the dole.  That takes lawyers, and lawyers take money.

Being poor is a Catch 22.  Do it or don't do it; the result will be the same.  It hurts.