My Blogger Complaint--Update

Yup!  Once again, the problem was mine...er...my daughter's.   When she was helping me the other day, she clicked on something that stayed clicked.  It shouldn't have been.  So...for once, something was NOT all my fault!

My Blogger Complaint

I suppose it was due to happen sometime: ignorant blog-poster (me) collided with the gremlins of Cyberspace. I've been writing on this blog for quite a few years but never had this happen before. Earlier this week, I made a blog entry entitled "The T-Shirt", and posted it. That is to say, I hit the "publish" button. The entry showed up on the blog. I saw it. My sister in Illinois saw it (and commented to me about it in email). It was there! Really! However, a day later, when I went back to look at it to see if I had made any post-proofreading mistakes, it was gone. In its place was a draft copy of "The T-Shirt" with only the first 2-3 paragraphs present. Thinking that the complete published version was surely there, somewhere, I went about the business of trying to reinstate the rest of the draft copy...and when that didn't work, I somehow managed to delete it altogether. And now BOTH are gone. In my case, I always assume "operator error", so I had my daughter (in Illinois) get on Team Viewer to look around on my computer (in Indiana) to see if she could find it. Nope. Gone! The post wasn't deep. It was a sort of tongue-in-cheek look at raising kids, with my long-ago determination that I should have a T-shirt made for me that said, "Just so we understand each other, everything is all MY fault"! I can't re-create that post, so it's lost forever (although I still think the message was laughably sincere. Maybe some other time. Meanwhile, just in the process of writing THIS post, I see some problems going on with the Blogger program. Maybe I'm not the problem??

When Will the Madness Stop??

My grandchildren's schools are on "soft lockdown" today due to a manhunt in a neighboring suburb.  A 32-year veteran police officer was shot and killed this morning in Fox Lake, IL.  They are searching for "two whites and a black", while the rest of the communities remain hostage to the search.  Helicopters, K-9s, cruisers all over the place.

I don't have to tell you how intense it must be on scene.  It's one thing when a civilian is killed; quite another when a policeman is the victim.  I know there are corrupt cops.  I'm not stupid.  But there are also corrupt doctors, lawyers, teachers, bankers, court clerks, and people of every vocation in life.  Lately, it seems that law enforcement officers are fair game to the bad guys...and it's time for that to stop.  Who are you going to call when someone breaks into your house?  Why should a policeman respond if he believes his life will be in danger?  Because it's his job.  He signed on for it.  It is his calling in life...but no one leaves for work in the morning expecting to be killed as part of his vocation.  And if police seem a little overly-flinchy these days, can you blame them??  I remember the days of race riots in California many years ago when police failed to respond because they were severely outnumbered.  If that's what you want for our country, keep griping about cops.  Good luck the next time you need one!!

I don't have the answers. I just want it the violence to stop.    

Getting Ready to Go--Again

I just got home from my daughter's a few days ago but am now preparing to go again...this time to my sister's.  She and I will be attending a Celebration of Life luncheon for the mother of my childhood sweetheart in Bloomington, IL.  (My sister was the flower girl at the woman's wedding.)   It's also a good excuse for me to be there for a little respite for her because of her husband with dementia.  Any distraction/buffer helps.  I get it!

My Russian friends (my daughter's in-laws) cleaned my car when I was up there--most appreciated! Today, I took the buggy to get the oil changed for the first time since I bought it almost a year ago. (Long overdue!)  The only things I need to put in the vehicle for the trip this time are a re-packed suitcase and my train case with meds and cosmetics.  It's almost routine.

After I return, I have a couple of doctor's appointments and will most likely stay put until November.  I'm hoping the family will find time to come here during Covered Bridge time!  I don't count on anything anymore because there is "many a slip twixt the cup and the lip".

Wish me luck!

Ryan Eugene

I just returned home after spending the first half of this month up in northern Illinois, visiting my daughter and her extended family.  I went up for my granddaughter's birthday and stayed extra, if for no other reason than the fact that it's a long trip up and back...so I linger.

Living in the house are:  my daughter (Megan), son-in-law (Denis), granddaughter (Robin), grandson (Ryan), and my son-in-law's Russian parents (Luda and Sergei).  Everyone has his/her own bedroom. I sleep in a bonus room that serves my needs when visiting.  It all works out.  Everyone has a place to hide!

The family--all members--have had major adjustments to make since spring.  Luda and Sergei arrived (permanently) from Russia in late March.  Ryan (and his two bunnies, Giblet and Lilly) joined the household in June.  So many personalities to work around!  So many changes in such a short time! So many things to do just to get everyone's needs attended to!  In all of this, I don't worry all that much about the adults because they are....adults.  I worry about the children, who seem to be doing pretty well, all things considered.  But then there is Ryan.

I never raised a boy.  I helped with my stepson, who was only my stepson for 13 years before his father and I divorced, but I left most of the "raising" part up to his biological parents.  I just assisted in providing his Home Away From Home when he and his sister came for visitation.  I taught MANY young men of my grandson's age (11) through the years.  I never pretended to understand them.  I just learned to work around them as best I could in a school situation.  I was closer to some than others. They either respected me or they didn't.  I felt the same about them, but I treated them all with dignity and respect.  Honestly, who knows what lurks in the minds of 11-year-old boys!!!

I was the one who drove both of the grandchildren back to their mother on August 1st.  Ryan spent the first two-thirds of the trip in the shotgun seat next to me.  I asked him one question and was regaled with horror stories about his stepmother and stepsister, some of which didn't really sound believable.  From the back seat, his sister finally asked that we change the subject because she was done with all of that....yet Ryan continued with his stories.  In a receptive moment, I asked him if any of his stories were, perhaps, embellished.  He asked if "embellished" meant "exaggerated".  I said yes.  His response?  "Maybe a little."

Ryan is somewhat oppositional.  If you say it's a beautiful day, he'll say no...it's awful.  He pulls all kinds of dramatic stunts, ending with "nobody likes me"...then continues with whatever behavior led to the conclusion.  He's sharp as a tack but says he will play dumb at his new school so he won't be put in advanced classes because it's too much work.  You get the picture!  But take him away from an audience, and he becomes human.  I'm somewhat skilled at reading between the lines.  He recently said that he guessed it was okay that his parents divorced because "we got Denis out of the deal".  He adores his stepfather, and his stepfather works his pants off to provide for his family of six.  Ryan thinks they are rich.  They aren't.  I am just unable to convince him of that.

On my last alone trip out with Ryan, he asked, "So, what do you do when you are at home alone?"  I explained that I watch a lot of TV, read things on the Internet, play a lot of computer solitaire, cook to feed myself, run errands, and do some cleaning and laundry as I can, etc.  He said it sounded pretty boring.  Oh, Ryan!  If you only knew!

I came home from Lindenhurst, IL, on Saturday.  Sunday night, into the early hours of Monday, my daughter reported that everyone's favorite bunny, Giblet, was found dead in his cage.  (The cage--a purchased habitat enclosure--is in Ryan's bedroom.)  Ryan--Mr. Tough Guy who acted like he didn't care about the rabbits--wept.  A box was found to serve as a bunny casket, and Ryan put a small stuffed rabbit in the box with Gibby "so he won't be alone".  I lost it.  I don't weep for the rabbit; I weep for my grandson.  In his 11 years, so much that he loved has been taken away from him.  I think this is the first time he has really had to deal with death.  He spent a lot of the day watching funny videos just to distract himself (which is a mature thing to do).  He's trying to grow up.  It's just so hard!!

Ryan is a tough nut to crack.  I try to connect with him, but he has his own agenda that doesn't always mesh with mine.  Still, we have something going, and nothing will ever take that away.

God bless my grandson.  He has issues.  He demands a lot of unconditional love.  That is not to take away from Robin who is on point.  I love them both dearly!  I've come to understand that I am no longer a driving force in their lives, but my heart will always be with them.  

The Worth of an Antique

Many people are of the mistaken idea that something that is old is worth a lot of money.  Not so!  The worth of any item depends on a number of things:  condition, demand, rarity, etc.  Bottom line: something is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it.  Without a buyer, it isn't worth nuthin'!

I'm afraid the same thing applies to grandparents.
A couple of days ago, in an alone moment, my grandson asked me what I do when I am home by myself.  I explained that I watch TV, play a lot of computer solitaire, nap some, and spend time cleaning, doing laundry, and feeding myself.  He said it sounded boring.  It is!  I tried to explain to  him that my life is different than it used to be, but I'm not sure he got it.

When I was up at my daughter's, the only "demand" there was for me was for cooking and occasional babysitting.  I tried to make myself fit in but it didn't always happen.

My "condition" isn't good.  I keep the rollator in my car to use if I am in any situation that requires much walking.

"Rarity" isn't much of an issue.  I visit more than most grandparents.  Maybe too much.

Who will buy this person?  I think many would hope to have a grandparent back for just one day.  I'm not stupid enough to be that emotional...but the feeling is there.  I'm an antique.  Whether or not I am worthy of some kind of value isn't up to me!

Suicide by Internet

What are the normal methods of killing oneself?  Slitting a wrist.  Hanging.  Gunshot.  Deliberate drug overdose.  Falling on a sword.  Drawing a weapon on police.  Deliberately driving the wrong way on an interstate highway.  Have I missed any?

But what if you have no intention of killing yourself, yet do something stupid and public, and have your name and face plastered all over the Internet as a Bad Guy unworthy of redemption?  Child molesters--or people merely accused of child molestation--are prime targets and become guilty in the Court of Public Opinion regardless of the facts.  Lock him up and throw away the key!  Hang him by his genitals--or even cut them off!  I give you the case of the Jon Benet Ramsey murder.  The little girl's parents were under so much suspicion that their lives as wage-earning citizens were basically over.  The case has never been solved.  The mother died of cancer before further DNA evidence exonerated the parents...but not before they had already been tried and convicted by the public.  How does one carry on in life with that much of a bull's-eye painted on him/her?

The latest trending story on the Internet is about a Minnesota dentist who paid big bucks to an African safari company for a trophy hunt.  He claims that, for all he knew,  permits were obtained and all was well.  He bagged a male lion and had it beheaded (probably for taxidermy purposes).  I haven't followed the story closely because, frankly, I don't know how anyone could kill an animal as endangered as lions.  Turns out that the lion he killed was a favorite in a preserve...collared and followed regularly.  The lion was even named:  Cecil.   And the dentist's name is now Mudd!

He has issued an apology of sorts--to his patients--because guess what?  This has received so much attention on the Internet that he can no longer conduct business.  I suspect there have been threats on his life.  His website has been taken down.  He's had to refer his patients to other dentists.  He's probably gone into hiding.  He says he had no idea that the creature that he killed was a local favorite...but it doesn't matter.  The animal is still dead, and the Internet is still humming about it.  All of the animal rights people are irate.  Essentially, the guy has committed virtual suicide, and the Internet was the weapon--all in the interest of his hunting hobby.  (Reports say that he paid $50k Euro for the opportunity.)

There are lessons to be learned here.  One is that we aren't alone.  The Internet sees all.  We can no longer assume that what we do isn't viewed by surveillance cameras or reported on Internet sites.  Another is that we are no longer free in the world community to spout our Freedom of Speech rights without drawing the wrath of other countries who don't view us in the same way we view ourselves.  Yet another--and this is a tough nut to crack--is that we, as a nation, have a chip on our shoulder.  I shudder to think about how many Facebook posts I have seen from people who stand their ground, no matter whom they are offending, saying (in essence), if you don't like me, or our country, or our way of doing things, or the way I am raising my kids...or whatever...you can just LEAVE.  I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen, so what is the message?  Don't mess with me?  You don't count?  I'd rather have a trophy lion head than a career?

I'm not judging the guy.  Whether or not he was aware of what he was doing when he killed that lion, life as he knew it is over, thanks to the Internet.  Maybe we'll ALL learn something from it!  The speed and connectivity of social media has changed society before we were ready for it, perhaps, but it is now the lay of the way things are.  May God have mercy on all of us!!