So Here It Is

Today is the day before Christmas. Tonight, magic is supposed to happen. The snow has already begun here, with my daughter and son-in-law set to fly eastward tomorrow. I am praying that "magic" will provide a weather window for no delays. I just want them all here safely! Hmmm...well, for the first time in a long time, the system won't allow me to make a paragraph break, so I will put an asterisk where a next paragraph should start. Sorry! *One magical Christmas Eve memory was when I was probably 8 or 9 years old. (Can't remember, exactly.) I was at my grandparents' farm, expected to sleep on the living room hide-a-bed couch in the midst of two big picture windows. I think the parents and grandparents were playing bridge or pinochle in the same living room...which they loved. I loved it, too. They laughed and had a good time...and I was always happily on the fringe of their adult world. Along about midnight that evening, a dense fog descended on the farm, and the moisture froze on every limb, twig, and blade of grass, making a hoar frost that created a fairyland out of the environs. Although I was supposed to be asleep (no one else was!), I was enthralled. I had never experienced hoar frost before, but it was Christmas Eve magic! I was 100% certain that it was part of God's message to me. *The next miracle didn't happen on Christmas Eve, but the song referred to it. My mother had just died, suddenly. My 7-year-old daughter had a solo in her school's Christmas concert for the song, "The Friendly Beasts". I didn't know what to expect. I was just numb. I sat in the bleachers blubbering like a baby as my child stepped up to the microphone and sang her verse in the clearest voice. Thank God, I have a recording of it! (I just found it a few days ago.) It was so very special to me! *The next memorable Christmas Eve occurred when my daughter and grandchildren and I spent the holiday in Florida. It was different! We were in a time-share condo. The children emerged from 21 hours in the car to put on their bathing suits and run to the surf where they ran and laughed and fell over in the sand. That Christmas Eve, we made a gingerbread house and hung stockings on a bathroom door. We prayed that Santa could find us there! (He did!) *Last Christmas Eve, Megan and Denis were traveling to California. We had made our sad "good-byes" a few days before. Nathan (my grandchildren's father), his wife, and all three children joined us (me and the other grandparents) for the candlelight service at our church. It felt great to have them there! I think they were impressed with the service. I was more impressed with how wonderful it was to be with them! *This year, my family is due to gather within the next day or two. I have purchased every stinking thing that I can for food and gifts. All I want is for everyone to be safe and happy. I'm not sure if there will be flight delays tomorrow. I could suggest that Megan just hitch a ride on Santa's sleigh! God provides. I won't be happy until all of my babies are in my clutches! *I will attend church tonight and will cry through it all. Don't ask me why! *So...to my friends and loved ones--whoever reads this--God bless you all and give you a reason to live and be happy. Merry Christmas!

Sometimes things happen in life that are too personal, too life-changing, or too confusing to be put into words. I had one of those moments last night (Monday). If I have learned nothing else in my existence, I have figured out that time changes things. The truth today may not be the truth tomorrow. I have also learned that I am just old enough that it is difficult for me to deal with change--especially change that I didn't initiate. I have been dealing with over a year of heartbreak in my personal life. I've done the best I can, but it hasn't been pretty.

I had hoped that retirement would be a happy time, but then there was the heart attack and the removal of my grandchildren. I'm not over all of that yet. No one ever explained that there would be anger and depression with a heart attack...or devastation with the grandkid thing. Basically, everything in my life changed (retirement, heart attack, custody change with grandchildren) within a 4-month period. Guess I should have been more resilient...but how much more can a person take??

Now my daughter is experiencing some major health problems and she really just needs the mommy she rejected a year ago. I think time has helped her children. I still struggle, but I have always been there for my kid. I will try to continue to do that, only less of an enabler.

I am really excited at the prospect of having all of my ducklings in my pond for Christmas week! God is in control. I am ready!

Woohoo!

If you live anywhere near Plainfield and didn't feel the earth move this afternoon, you weren't paying attention. For the first time in at least 2 1/2 years, my "new" garage bedroom is clean and organized! Victory! Of course, it was guided by the knowledge that my daughter and son-in-law would have to sleep in the room because it has the only double bed in the house...but still...I'm so glad it's done! Big time accomplishment! Can't wait for my family to be here this weekend!!

Message to Lydia

I just tonight saw your response to my post about family eating treats. I am totally honored that you follow my blog, although I can't imagine how boring it must be for a young'un to read my blatherings!

Let me just say this: you are one of the most "grounded" of my former students that I have ever had the pleasure to know. I follow you on Facebook. I love your sense of humor and your maturity...and your confidence. You always seem to "get it"...and I applaud your parents for raising a good kid!

Thanks for hanging in with an old lady who cares about you. Merry Christmas, Lydia Lucas!

Last Sunday in Advent

Back in early April, I had occasion to go to Plainfield's Christian gift store looking for baptism gifts for my grandchildren. On a sale table, there was an Advent wreath marked 75% off because the box was damaged. I've always wanted an Advent wreath, so I bought it. (It also prompted my motivation that my grandson asked why I didn't have one last Christmas!) Even though I only had company on the first Sunday of Advent (when the grandchildren and other grandparents were here to break bread together over Thanksgiving), I have been faithful about lighting the candles alone and letting them burn for an hour. The Christ candle is to be lit on Christmas Day, but in my house, it won't be lit until my family is all here on the 26th. That will truly be a special day!

After church, I treated Judy and Phil (the other grandparents) to lunch at Panera Bread (Judy's choice) in honor of her birthday on the 23rd. They will be in Tennessee visiting family and so will not be here for her birthday OR Christmas. They are such nice people and have been so good to me through the years. I didn't want to miss a chance to have our own little celebration before they take off for points south. Of course, because the Colts were playing today at 1:00, we had to make it an early luncheon--which worked for me because I was hungry!

Colts won. Woohoo! That means they are still in the playoffs. Had they lost today against Jacksonville, they would have been out of the running. Austin Collie got another concussion on his first game back after a nasty concussion three weeks ago. Although he is a favored player, his health isn't worth it. He did come back to the sidelines looking very morose. Poor guy had two touchdowns in the first half of the game...but now it looks like he'll be out for awhile.

I need to get back to working on my room. I told myself I'd have it done by bedtime today...but since I watched the game, I'm wondering if that's going to happen. Wish me luck!

Second Verse, Same as the First...

Okay...here's the scenario:
A couple of years ago, Meg and I had the one-car garage in my tiny house transformed into a Grandma Room, in order to provide a bedroom for everyone who was living here then. The garage transformation was professionally done by a family member in the construction business out of the Greencastle area. (Megan and I re-did the other bedrooms with a lot of sweat equity and help from friends.) Everything that had been in the garage went to the patio to be sorted later. The walk-in closet that was built in the garage room became major storage for tools, sewing materials, radio crap, clothes, craft supplies, and other goodies too good to pitch. Then, every stinkin' thing in the house that had no other place to be got stashed in my hodge-podge garage bedroom. It is my bedroom/computer room/radio shack. I spend 90% of my at-home time in the room; HOWEVER, only my daughter, grandchildren, and a very short list of trusted friends have ever been allowed in there because I am STILL trying to find places for everything. In all this time, it has never been clean enough to show off. Seriously. I have worked on it, made headway, given up....worked on it, made headway, given up. You get the picture.

Well, in one week, my daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren will be here for a week for the holidays. My bedroom is the only room in the house with a double bed, so Megan and Denis will have to sleep there. That means--you guessed it--I have to have it cleaned up! Crunch time!

This morning, I launched again into a clean/sort/pitch campaign. Have worked all day on the room, dismantling plastic shelves that are just dust/junk collectors, going through stacks and stacks of unopened mail (ancient), attempting to simplify a very complicated place. What I have concluded from my labors is that there is way too much to do! My goal is to have the room DONE by bedtime on Sunday. We'll see!

What have I uncovered in my treasure-trove bedroom?

1. My car key with the automatic opener on it!!!!!! This has been missing for well over a month. I bought the silly opener deal to replace the previous one, to the tune of $72, and it killed me to have it lost. (Prompted me to have an extra key made...just to have a spare.) Where was it? Don't know how it got there, but it was in a box of toy junk from Robin's room that was somehow transplanted to mine. I picked up the box from the floor and put it on my bed...and managed to see the key amid the junk. Yay! The lost is found!

2. An unopened package of bottle rockets. Huh?? Don't ask... I have no idea where they came from or how they got there!

3. A lopsided elephant and a mermaid on a rock--both glazed clay projects that I did in junior high school. Can't exactly throw them out, now can I?

4. Literature for appliances bought LONG ago. One is for the silly microwave that I still use. The date on the manual is 1981. It's almost as old as my daughter!! Some of the manuals are for appliances I no longer have... One set is for the bicycles that I donated to my former son-in-law. I'll try to see that he gets those, even if he doesn't need them. I sure don't!

5. A Christmas stocking knitted for my ex-husband at his birth in 1945 (date knitted into it) left behind by my daughter. What am I supposed to do with that???? Suggestions?

I have seen more dust today than I care to. It's a wonder I can still breathe!

My daughter has been experiencing some nasty health problems due to an increased dosage of anti-depressant medications. She spent a few hours in an ER just after Thanksgiving with chest pain, irregular/rapid heartbeat, and elevated blood pressure. (She thought she was having a heart attack. Tests showed that she hadn't.) As a result, she dropped the meds, cold turkey, and that has created another set of symptoms due to withdrawal. She is still under a doctor's care, but the whole thing has frightened her. She has asked for prayer. If you are reading this and believe in the power of prayer, please send your pleas to the Amighty for her recovery. Even "helpful" drugs have side effects! I just want her home so mommy can take care of her! Just a few more days...

Yet Another Day

I did do some work today, but not nearly enough! When my family arrives next weekend, they will have to take pot luck. They will be well-fed....