I just got home from my daughter's a few days ago but am now preparing to go again...this time to my sister's. She and I will be attending a Celebration of Life luncheon for the mother of my childhood sweetheart in Bloomington, IL. (My sister was the flower girl at the woman's wedding.) It's also a good excuse for me to be there for a little respite for her because of her husband with dementia. Any distraction/buffer helps. I get it!
My Russian friends (my daughter's in-laws) cleaned my car when I was up there--most appreciated! Today, I took the buggy to get the oil changed for the first time since I bought it almost a year ago. (Long overdue!) The only things I need to put in the vehicle for the trip this time are a re-packed suitcase and my train case with meds and cosmetics. It's almost routine.
After I return, I have a couple of doctor's appointments and will most likely stay put until November. I'm hoping the family will find time to come here during Covered Bridge time! I don't count on anything anymore because there is "many a slip twixt the cup and the lip".
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Ryan Eugene
I just returned home after spending the first half of this month up in northern Illinois, visiting my daughter and her extended family. I went up for my granddaughter's birthday and stayed extra, if for no other reason than the fact that it's a long trip up and back...so I linger.
Living in the house are: my daughter (Megan), son-in-law (Denis), granddaughter (Robin), grandson (Ryan), and my son-in-law's Russian parents (Luda and Sergei). Everyone has his/her own bedroom. I sleep in a bonus room that serves my needs when visiting. It all works out. Everyone has a place to hide!
The family--all members--have had major adjustments to make since spring. Luda and Sergei arrived (permanently) from Russia in late March. Ryan (and his two bunnies, Giblet and Lilly) joined the household in June. So many personalities to work around! So many changes in such a short time! So many things to do just to get everyone's needs attended to! In all of this, I don't worry all that much about the adults because they are....adults. I worry about the children, who seem to be doing pretty well, all things considered. But then there is Ryan.
I never raised a boy. I helped with my stepson, who was only my stepson for 13 years before his father and I divorced, but I left most of the "raising" part up to his biological parents. I just assisted in providing his Home Away From Home when he and his sister came for visitation. I taught MANY young men of my grandson's age (11) through the years. I never pretended to understand them. I just learned to work around them as best I could in a school situation. I was closer to some than others. They either respected me or they didn't. I felt the same about them, but I treated them all with dignity and respect. Honestly, who knows what lurks in the minds of 11-year-old boys!!!
I was the one who drove both of the grandchildren back to their mother on August 1st. Ryan spent the first two-thirds of the trip in the shotgun seat next to me. I asked him one question and was regaled with horror stories about his stepmother and stepsister, some of which didn't really sound believable. From the back seat, his sister finally asked that we change the subject because she was done with all of that....yet Ryan continued with his stories. In a receptive moment, I asked him if any of his stories were, perhaps, embellished. He asked if "embellished" meant "exaggerated". I said yes. His response? "Maybe a little."
Ryan is somewhat oppositional. If you say it's a beautiful day, he'll say no...it's awful. He pulls all kinds of dramatic stunts, ending with "nobody likes me"...then continues with whatever behavior led to the conclusion. He's sharp as a tack but says he will play dumb at his new school so he won't be put in advanced classes because it's too much work. You get the picture! But take him away from an audience, and he becomes human. I'm somewhat skilled at reading between the lines. He recently said that he guessed it was okay that his parents divorced because "we got Denis out of the deal". He adores his stepfather, and his stepfather works his pants off to provide for his family of six. Ryan thinks they are rich. They aren't. I am just unable to convince him of that.
On my last alone trip out with Ryan, he asked, "So, what do you do when you are at home alone?" I explained that I watch a lot of TV, read things on the Internet, play a lot of computer solitaire, cook to feed myself, run errands, and do some cleaning and laundry as I can, etc. He said it sounded pretty boring. Oh, Ryan! If you only knew!
I came home from Lindenhurst, IL, on Saturday. Sunday night, into the early hours of Monday, my daughter reported that everyone's favorite bunny, Giblet, was found dead in his cage. (The cage--a purchased habitat enclosure--is in Ryan's bedroom.) Ryan--Mr. Tough Guy who acted like he didn't care about the rabbits--wept. A box was found to serve as a bunny casket, and Ryan put a small stuffed rabbit in the box with Gibby "so he won't be alone". I lost it. I don't weep for the rabbit; I weep for my grandson. In his 11 years, so much that he loved has been taken away from him. I think this is the first time he has really had to deal with death. He spent a lot of the day watching funny videos just to distract himself (which is a mature thing to do). He's trying to grow up. It's just so hard!!
Ryan is a tough nut to crack. I try to connect with him, but he has his own agenda that doesn't always mesh with mine. Still, we have something going, and nothing will ever take that away.
God bless my grandson. He has issues. He demands a lot of unconditional love. That is not to take away from Robin who is on point. I love them both dearly! I've come to understand that I am no longer a driving force in their lives, but my heart will always be with them.
Living in the house are: my daughter (Megan), son-in-law (Denis), granddaughter (Robin), grandson (Ryan), and my son-in-law's Russian parents (Luda and Sergei). Everyone has his/her own bedroom. I sleep in a bonus room that serves my needs when visiting. It all works out. Everyone has a place to hide!
The family--all members--have had major adjustments to make since spring. Luda and Sergei arrived (permanently) from Russia in late March. Ryan (and his two bunnies, Giblet and Lilly) joined the household in June. So many personalities to work around! So many changes in such a short time! So many things to do just to get everyone's needs attended to! In all of this, I don't worry all that much about the adults because they are....adults. I worry about the children, who seem to be doing pretty well, all things considered. But then there is Ryan.
I never raised a boy. I helped with my stepson, who was only my stepson for 13 years before his father and I divorced, but I left most of the "raising" part up to his biological parents. I just assisted in providing his Home Away From Home when he and his sister came for visitation. I taught MANY young men of my grandson's age (11) through the years. I never pretended to understand them. I just learned to work around them as best I could in a school situation. I was closer to some than others. They either respected me or they didn't. I felt the same about them, but I treated them all with dignity and respect. Honestly, who knows what lurks in the minds of 11-year-old boys!!!
I was the one who drove both of the grandchildren back to their mother on August 1st. Ryan spent the first two-thirds of the trip in the shotgun seat next to me. I asked him one question and was regaled with horror stories about his stepmother and stepsister, some of which didn't really sound believable. From the back seat, his sister finally asked that we change the subject because she was done with all of that....yet Ryan continued with his stories. In a receptive moment, I asked him if any of his stories were, perhaps, embellished. He asked if "embellished" meant "exaggerated". I said yes. His response? "Maybe a little."
Ryan is somewhat oppositional. If you say it's a beautiful day, he'll say no...it's awful. He pulls all kinds of dramatic stunts, ending with "nobody likes me"...then continues with whatever behavior led to the conclusion. He's sharp as a tack but says he will play dumb at his new school so he won't be put in advanced classes because it's too much work. You get the picture! But take him away from an audience, and he becomes human. I'm somewhat skilled at reading between the lines. He recently said that he guessed it was okay that his parents divorced because "we got Denis out of the deal". He adores his stepfather, and his stepfather works his pants off to provide for his family of six. Ryan thinks they are rich. They aren't. I am just unable to convince him of that.
On my last alone trip out with Ryan, he asked, "So, what do you do when you are at home alone?" I explained that I watch a lot of TV, read things on the Internet, play a lot of computer solitaire, cook to feed myself, run errands, and do some cleaning and laundry as I can, etc. He said it sounded pretty boring. Oh, Ryan! If you only knew!
I came home from Lindenhurst, IL, on Saturday. Sunday night, into the early hours of Monday, my daughter reported that everyone's favorite bunny, Giblet, was found dead in his cage. (The cage--a purchased habitat enclosure--is in Ryan's bedroom.) Ryan--Mr. Tough Guy who acted like he didn't care about the rabbits--wept. A box was found to serve as a bunny casket, and Ryan put a small stuffed rabbit in the box with Gibby "so he won't be alone". I lost it. I don't weep for the rabbit; I weep for my grandson. In his 11 years, so much that he loved has been taken away from him. I think this is the first time he has really had to deal with death. He spent a lot of the day watching funny videos just to distract himself (which is a mature thing to do). He's trying to grow up. It's just so hard!!
Ryan is a tough nut to crack. I try to connect with him, but he has his own agenda that doesn't always mesh with mine. Still, we have something going, and nothing will ever take that away.
God bless my grandson. He has issues. He demands a lot of unconditional love. That is not to take away from Robin who is on point. I love them both dearly! I've come to understand that I am no longer a driving force in their lives, but my heart will always be with them.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
The Worth of an Antique
Many people are of the mistaken idea that something that is old is worth a lot of money. Not so! The worth of any item depends on a number of things: condition, demand, rarity, etc. Bottom line: something is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. Without a buyer, it isn't worth nuthin'!
I'm afraid the same thing applies to grandparents.
A couple of days ago, in an alone moment, my grandson asked me what I do when I am home by myself. I explained that I watch TV, play a lot of computer solitaire, nap some, and spend time cleaning, doing laundry, and feeding myself. He said it sounded boring. It is! I tried to explain to him that my life is different than it used to be, but I'm not sure he got it.
When I was up at my daughter's, the only "demand" there was for me was for cooking and occasional babysitting. I tried to make myself fit in but it didn't always happen.
My "condition" isn't good. I keep the rollator in my car to use if I am in any situation that requires much walking.
"Rarity" isn't much of an issue. I visit more than most grandparents. Maybe too much.
Who will buy this person? I think many would hope to have a grandparent back for just one day. I'm not stupid enough to be that emotional...but the feeling is there. I'm an antique. Whether or not I am worthy of some kind of value isn't up to me!
I'm afraid the same thing applies to grandparents.
A couple of days ago, in an alone moment, my grandson asked me what I do when I am home by myself. I explained that I watch TV, play a lot of computer solitaire, nap some, and spend time cleaning, doing laundry, and feeding myself. He said it sounded boring. It is! I tried to explain to him that my life is different than it used to be, but I'm not sure he got it.
When I was up at my daughter's, the only "demand" there was for me was for cooking and occasional babysitting. I tried to make myself fit in but it didn't always happen.
My "condition" isn't good. I keep the rollator in my car to use if I am in any situation that requires much walking.
"Rarity" isn't much of an issue. I visit more than most grandparents. Maybe too much.
Who will buy this person? I think many would hope to have a grandparent back for just one day. I'm not stupid enough to be that emotional...but the feeling is there. I'm an antique. Whether or not I am worthy of some kind of value isn't up to me!
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Suicide by Internet
What are the normal methods of killing oneself? Slitting a wrist. Hanging. Gunshot. Deliberate drug overdose. Falling on a sword. Drawing a weapon on police. Deliberately driving the wrong way on an interstate highway. Have I missed any?
But what if you have no intention of killing yourself, yet do something stupid and public, and have your name and face plastered all over the Internet as a Bad Guy unworthy of redemption? Child molesters--or people merely accused of child molestation--are prime targets and become guilty in the Court of Public Opinion regardless of the facts. Lock him up and throw away the key! Hang him by his genitals--or even cut them off! I give you the case of the Jon Benet Ramsey murder. The little girl's parents were under so much suspicion that their lives as wage-earning citizens were basically over. The case has never been solved. The mother died of cancer before further DNA evidence exonerated the parents...but not before they had already been tried and convicted by the public. How does one carry on in life with that much of a bull's-eye painted on him/her?
The latest trending story on the Internet is about a Minnesota dentist who paid big bucks to an African safari company for a trophy hunt. He claims that, for all he knew, permits were obtained and all was well. He bagged a male lion and had it beheaded (probably for taxidermy purposes). I haven't followed the story closely because, frankly, I don't know how anyone could kill an animal as endangered as lions. Turns out that the lion he killed was a favorite in a preserve...collared and followed regularly. The lion was even named: Cecil. And the dentist's name is now Mudd!
He has issued an apology of sorts--to his patients--because guess what? This has received so much attention on the Internet that he can no longer conduct business. I suspect there have been threats on his life. His website has been taken down. He's had to refer his patients to other dentists. He's probably gone into hiding. He says he had no idea that the creature that he killed was a local favorite...but it doesn't matter. The animal is still dead, and the Internet is still humming about it. All of the animal rights people are irate. Essentially, the guy has committed virtual suicide, and the Internet was the weapon--all in the interest of his hunting hobby. (Reports say that he paid $50k Euro for the opportunity.)
There are lessons to be learned here. One is that we aren't alone. The Internet sees all. We can no longer assume that what we do isn't viewed by surveillance cameras or reported on Internet sites. Another is that we are no longer free in the world community to spout our Freedom of Speech rights without drawing the wrath of other countries who don't view us in the same way we view ourselves. Yet another--and this is a tough nut to crack--is that we, as a nation, have a chip on our shoulder. I shudder to think about how many Facebook posts I have seen from people who stand their ground, no matter whom they are offending, saying (in essence), if you don't like me, or our country, or our way of doing things, or the way I am raising my kids...or whatever...you can just LEAVE. I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen, so what is the message? Don't mess with me? You don't count? I'd rather have a trophy lion head than a career?
I'm not judging the guy. Whether or not he was aware of what he was doing when he killed that lion, life as he knew it is over, thanks to the Internet. Maybe we'll ALL learn something from it! The speed and connectivity of social media has changed society before we were ready for it, perhaps, but it is now the lay of the way things are. May God have mercy on all of us!!
But what if you have no intention of killing yourself, yet do something stupid and public, and have your name and face plastered all over the Internet as a Bad Guy unworthy of redemption? Child molesters--or people merely accused of child molestation--are prime targets and become guilty in the Court of Public Opinion regardless of the facts. Lock him up and throw away the key! Hang him by his genitals--or even cut them off! I give you the case of the Jon Benet Ramsey murder. The little girl's parents were under so much suspicion that their lives as wage-earning citizens were basically over. The case has never been solved. The mother died of cancer before further DNA evidence exonerated the parents...but not before they had already been tried and convicted by the public. How does one carry on in life with that much of a bull's-eye painted on him/her?
The latest trending story on the Internet is about a Minnesota dentist who paid big bucks to an African safari company for a trophy hunt. He claims that, for all he knew, permits were obtained and all was well. He bagged a male lion and had it beheaded (probably for taxidermy purposes). I haven't followed the story closely because, frankly, I don't know how anyone could kill an animal as endangered as lions. Turns out that the lion he killed was a favorite in a preserve...collared and followed regularly. The lion was even named: Cecil. And the dentist's name is now Mudd!
He has issued an apology of sorts--to his patients--because guess what? This has received so much attention on the Internet that he can no longer conduct business. I suspect there have been threats on his life. His website has been taken down. He's had to refer his patients to other dentists. He's probably gone into hiding. He says he had no idea that the creature that he killed was a local favorite...but it doesn't matter. The animal is still dead, and the Internet is still humming about it. All of the animal rights people are irate. Essentially, the guy has committed virtual suicide, and the Internet was the weapon--all in the interest of his hunting hobby. (Reports say that he paid $50k Euro for the opportunity.)
There are lessons to be learned here. One is that we aren't alone. The Internet sees all. We can no longer assume that what we do isn't viewed by surveillance cameras or reported on Internet sites. Another is that we are no longer free in the world community to spout our Freedom of Speech rights without drawing the wrath of other countries who don't view us in the same way we view ourselves. Yet another--and this is a tough nut to crack--is that we, as a nation, have a chip on our shoulder. I shudder to think about how many Facebook posts I have seen from people who stand their ground, no matter whom they are offending, saying (in essence), if you don't like me, or our country, or our way of doing things, or the way I am raising my kids...or whatever...you can just LEAVE. I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen, so what is the message? Don't mess with me? You don't count? I'd rather have a trophy lion head than a career?
I'm not judging the guy. Whether or not he was aware of what he was doing when he killed that lion, life as he knew it is over, thanks to the Internet. Maybe we'll ALL learn something from it! The speed and connectivity of social media has changed society before we were ready for it, perhaps, but it is now the lay of the way things are. May God have mercy on all of us!!
Sunday, July 26, 2015
The Sting in Texting
My grandchildren are in town this week, without parents. This time is a little bit different than normal visits, however, in that they are under the supervision of their paternal grandparents who live just a mile from here. (This is a first!) Grandma Judy orchestrated the visit and has gone to great lengths to plan things for them all to do. I see myself as a grandparent pop-off valve for when the honeymoon wears off and everyone needs a break. I can take one as a divide-and-conquer strategy, or I can take them both for tag-team efforts. How do you spell relief? M-O-V-I-E! We'll see how things go.
Meanwhile, it should be noted that the children really didn't want to come. (Ryan especially resisted.) But doggone it, Grandma Judy and Grandpa Phil don't often get a chance to have the kids in their own clutches. While they appear to be in good health, they are both in their 70s. (Nuff sed on that!) And Megan and Denis don't often have a chance to be kid-free for a whole week. I encouraged her to send them, which she did....but she still frets about how the experience is going for them. And, unfortunately, she really is NOT kid-free this week. Why? Texting!
Understand that circumstances over the past few years have made a better parent out of my daughter. She needs for her children to feel comfortable enough to tell her things about their lives and their feelings so she will know how to help them. We all applaud that; HOWEVER, the advent of the cell phone has made it far too easy for kids to reach mama. I'm convinced that this generation is losing the ability to entertain themselves and/or figure out what to do in situations in which they find themselves...and FAR too easy to complain!
Today, the children complained to their mother that they were forced to go to church. This is true. Phil and Judy are stalwart members of our church, both as regular attenders and leaders. They made their own children go to church; why should their grandchildren be any different?? (There is also a brag-factor at play here. Other people's children/grandchildren live closer and show up at church often. Ours are only around a couple of times a year. I know I am so proud to have them with me in worship. I imagine the other grandparents feel the same.) The kids complained even more about having to go to Sunday School because Judy and I attend the adult version of that, too. Guess what? Nobody died! After church, Ryan came home with me for the 1 1/2 hours before we were all to meet at a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant...then the kids were taken swimming at Splash Island here in Plainfield (which, btw, made a "best pools in the country" list).
But the complaints didn't stop. Apparently Ryan was pestering his sister, and she was indignant. Not sure if she complained to her grandparents, but she sure did tattle to Mommy in text. Mommy is 200 miles away. Grandma is somewhere in the same house. What's the point? Do they just need to complain to see who is listening, or do they really expect Mommy to be able to fix it?
I'm torn. I want the best for my grandchildren, but I'd also like to see my daughter and her husband also enjoy life with the kids. I would die for them all. I would die without them. But does the cell phone represent the real part of life? I don't think so.
To be brutally honest, I did the same thing to my own mother, except I was an adult when I did. When my husband was being a jerk, I called her to talk about it. In time, I noticed that she got quieter and quieter. I think she realized that things were more critical than her guidance could help, yet I still looked to her for relief. And then she died and I was thrust into being a Big Girl before I felt ready. Thank God we didn't have texting in those days! She probably would have shut her phone off!
The week has only just begun. The grandkids will feel inconvenienced because they aren't in their own surroundings and can't control what goes on. I was a kid once. I get it, but it's time to suck up for just a little bit. Maybe it's time to text the fun and happy things??
Meanwhile, it should be noted that the children really didn't want to come. (Ryan especially resisted.) But doggone it, Grandma Judy and Grandpa Phil don't often get a chance to have the kids in their own clutches. While they appear to be in good health, they are both in their 70s. (Nuff sed on that!) And Megan and Denis don't often have a chance to be kid-free for a whole week. I encouraged her to send them, which she did....but she still frets about how the experience is going for them. And, unfortunately, she really is NOT kid-free this week. Why? Texting!
Understand that circumstances over the past few years have made a better parent out of my daughter. She needs for her children to feel comfortable enough to tell her things about their lives and their feelings so she will know how to help them. We all applaud that; HOWEVER, the advent of the cell phone has made it far too easy for kids to reach mama. I'm convinced that this generation is losing the ability to entertain themselves and/or figure out what to do in situations in which they find themselves...and FAR too easy to complain!
Today, the children complained to their mother that they were forced to go to church. This is true. Phil and Judy are stalwart members of our church, both as regular attenders and leaders. They made their own children go to church; why should their grandchildren be any different?? (There is also a brag-factor at play here. Other people's children/grandchildren live closer and show up at church often. Ours are only around a couple of times a year. I know I am so proud to have them with me in worship. I imagine the other grandparents feel the same.) The kids complained even more about having to go to Sunday School because Judy and I attend the adult version of that, too. Guess what? Nobody died! After church, Ryan came home with me for the 1 1/2 hours before we were all to meet at a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant...then the kids were taken swimming at Splash Island here in Plainfield (which, btw, made a "best pools in the country" list).
But the complaints didn't stop. Apparently Ryan was pestering his sister, and she was indignant. Not sure if she complained to her grandparents, but she sure did tattle to Mommy in text. Mommy is 200 miles away. Grandma is somewhere in the same house. What's the point? Do they just need to complain to see who is listening, or do they really expect Mommy to be able to fix it?
I'm torn. I want the best for my grandchildren, but I'd also like to see my daughter and her husband also enjoy life with the kids. I would die for them all. I would die without them. But does the cell phone represent the real part of life? I don't think so.
To be brutally honest, I did the same thing to my own mother, except I was an adult when I did. When my husband was being a jerk, I called her to talk about it. In time, I noticed that she got quieter and quieter. I think she realized that things were more critical than her guidance could help, yet I still looked to her for relief. And then she died and I was thrust into being a Big Girl before I felt ready. Thank God we didn't have texting in those days! She probably would have shut her phone off!
The week has only just begun. The grandkids will feel inconvenienced because they aren't in their own surroundings and can't control what goes on. I was a kid once. I get it, but it's time to suck up for just a little bit. Maybe it's time to text the fun and happy things??
Sunday, July 19, 2015
What Every Politician Knows...
Here we go. We are beginning a presidential campaign year, and I'm not sure I will survive it without shutting off the TV and not looking at Facebook. My blood pressure goes up significantly when I hear about insane commentary from people who would be president. And I wonder, "Is this for real???"
Before I became an adult, the only things I knew about politics came from my parents. We were not a political family. The first lesson came from my dad who stated, without question, that the Commander-in-Chief of the nation was The Boss, regardless of political party. Dad was an officer in the Navy. He never, ever, voiced his displeasure at decisions coming from The Boss. (At least not in front of us kids.) Long after he retired and the rest of us became adults, he would defend presidents under attack by saying, mostly, that the Prez didn't do anything that others hadn't done, etc. It seems that Dad's whole "thing" in life was about respect. I understood.
The second lesson came from Mom when I was running for JCL (Junior Civic League) President at my elementary school. At first, I was just going to run for secretary, but Mom urged me to go for the gusto...so I did. In the process of campaigning against several other candidates--all boys--she advised me that I would win. When I asked her how she could be so sure, she said, "The girls will all vote for you, but the boys' vote will be split among the male candidates." She was right. At least she was right in the notion that I would win because I did, although I never was privileged to know exactly how the vote went. That was, however, my first clue that election results are not merely based on the merits of who is the best person for the job.
I was a sheltered and naive kid, raised during the Cold War with the USSR. I believed that God was on our side and that "right makes might". MY country would never be involved in espionage. MY country would never torture prisoners. MY country would not use propaganda to tweak the public's thinking. See where I am going with this? I was a patriot, and still am, although I'm not as oblivious now. It never occurred to me back then that people in other countries felt the same way about their own governments and wanted the same things that Americans did/do. Duh!
And now I am learning what every politician already knows:
1. Take advantage of the media. Every chance you get, use it to your advantage.
2. Religion and patriotism gain votes. If you use God and Country in your campaign, you will find an audience, regardless of what that means.
3. Find out who your supporters are based on whose ox is gored. Big money lobbyists hold a lot of power. The NRA and the NEA, et al, are forces to be reckoned with.
4. Use every single bit of dirt that you can find on any opposing candidate and play it out in the media. Make a big deal out of it.
5. Do whatever you need to do to disarm the voting public so that they are forced to do their homework, knowing that most won't.
Yesterday, I read with interest the brain dribblings of Donald Trump, would-be presidential candidate for the Republican Party. He has shot off his mouth over illegal alien issues in the past. (A knee-jerk domestic topic.) Yesterday, however, he said that John McCain, a veteran and former POW and former presidential candidate, was only a hero because he got captured during Vietnam. This from a candidate who claims to be standing up for veterans. And it occurred to me that he was doing more damage to the GOP than they would probably allow a candidate from their party. I mean, no one in their right mind would vote for the dude, but he is at the top of the polls for GOP candidates. (Not sure how many others have thrown their hats in the ring yet.)
And then it hit: the GOP is letting Loose-Cannon Trump do his thing because he is bringing free media attention to them. He is the decoy against whom the other potential candidates can claim reason and logic. He is "drawing the foul" for the rest of the team. There is no way he could win the GOP's nod as their candidate because there is no way that he could win the election. But can he create diversions and make the nation focus on domestic issues rather than international ones? You betcha!
What else do politicians know? They know that the voters will not do their homework and vote for someone who actually stands for their issues. I'm not assured that voters actually know what their issues are! I know mine. I consider myself a political independent, but I have seen enough of the GOP to know that I will not vote Republican again until they address my issues. What are my issues? I am female...was a single parent...mother of a female who was sometimes in need of welfare..and grandmother of a female. A woman who wants abortion rights...retired teacher in American public education under attack...supporter of female-led families who can't make ends meet.
God blessed me with a brain. Come election time, I intend to use it. Not every politician knows about me!
Before I became an adult, the only things I knew about politics came from my parents. We were not a political family. The first lesson came from my dad who stated, without question, that the Commander-in-Chief of the nation was The Boss, regardless of political party. Dad was an officer in the Navy. He never, ever, voiced his displeasure at decisions coming from The Boss. (At least not in front of us kids.) Long after he retired and the rest of us became adults, he would defend presidents under attack by saying, mostly, that the Prez didn't do anything that others hadn't done, etc. It seems that Dad's whole "thing" in life was about respect. I understood.
The second lesson came from Mom when I was running for JCL (Junior Civic League) President at my elementary school. At first, I was just going to run for secretary, but Mom urged me to go for the gusto...so I did. In the process of campaigning against several other candidates--all boys--she advised me that I would win. When I asked her how she could be so sure, she said, "The girls will all vote for you, but the boys' vote will be split among the male candidates." She was right. At least she was right in the notion that I would win because I did, although I never was privileged to know exactly how the vote went. That was, however, my first clue that election results are not merely based on the merits of who is the best person for the job.
I was a sheltered and naive kid, raised during the Cold War with the USSR. I believed that God was on our side and that "right makes might". MY country would never be involved in espionage. MY country would never torture prisoners. MY country would not use propaganda to tweak the public's thinking. See where I am going with this? I was a patriot, and still am, although I'm not as oblivious now. It never occurred to me back then that people in other countries felt the same way about their own governments and wanted the same things that Americans did/do. Duh!
And now I am learning what every politician already knows:
1. Take advantage of the media. Every chance you get, use it to your advantage.
2. Religion and patriotism gain votes. If you use God and Country in your campaign, you will find an audience, regardless of what that means.
3. Find out who your supporters are based on whose ox is gored. Big money lobbyists hold a lot of power. The NRA and the NEA, et al, are forces to be reckoned with.
4. Use every single bit of dirt that you can find on any opposing candidate and play it out in the media. Make a big deal out of it.
5. Do whatever you need to do to disarm the voting public so that they are forced to do their homework, knowing that most won't.
Yesterday, I read with interest the brain dribblings of Donald Trump, would-be presidential candidate for the Republican Party. He has shot off his mouth over illegal alien issues in the past. (A knee-jerk domestic topic.) Yesterday, however, he said that John McCain, a veteran and former POW and former presidential candidate, was only a hero because he got captured during Vietnam. This from a candidate who claims to be standing up for veterans. And it occurred to me that he was doing more damage to the GOP than they would probably allow a candidate from their party. I mean, no one in their right mind would vote for the dude, but he is at the top of the polls for GOP candidates. (Not sure how many others have thrown their hats in the ring yet.)
And then it hit: the GOP is letting Loose-Cannon Trump do his thing because he is bringing free media attention to them. He is the decoy against whom the other potential candidates can claim reason and logic. He is "drawing the foul" for the rest of the team. There is no way he could win the GOP's nod as their candidate because there is no way that he could win the election. But can he create diversions and make the nation focus on domestic issues rather than international ones? You betcha!
What else do politicians know? They know that the voters will not do their homework and vote for someone who actually stands for their issues. I'm not assured that voters actually know what their issues are! I know mine. I consider myself a political independent, but I have seen enough of the GOP to know that I will not vote Republican again until they address my issues. What are my issues? I am female...was a single parent...mother of a female who was sometimes in need of welfare..and grandmother of a female. A woman who wants abortion rights...retired teacher in American public education under attack...supporter of female-led families who can't make ends meet.
God blessed me with a brain. Come election time, I intend to use it. Not every politician knows about me!
Saturday, July 18, 2015
50th Class Reunion
When did I get old? I can remember when my mother was part of the planning committee for her high school class's 50th reunion, and all I could think was, "Dang! That's old!" And now, my turn came. The Class of '65 of Oak Park-River Forest High School in Oak Park, IL, had it's 50th reunion last month. A good time was had by all....I guess. I didn't go.
Why didn't I go?
Let's start with the fact that it's a 4-hour trip to Oak Park. The reunion was for the entire weekend. I could have stayed at my daughter's overnight both nights and driven back to OP for the activities, but I had just been up there. I would have had to go alone, and since alcohol was offered, I knew I wouldn't be able to imbibe and still drive after. I haven't really been back to OP much since my parents retired back in 1975, and although I think I could probably still navigate the community (with help), I wasn't confident that I could do so easily.
I looked at the "who's coming" list and didn't see a single person I was close to back then. Why? I wasn't close to very many people! There were 830+ kids in my graduating class. I was in classes with 100% of the reunion attendees over the four years of high school, but I can count on the fingers of one hand the ones I was "social" with...and most of those, unfortunately, were on the "In Memory" list. A couple of others were on the list of "Missing Classmates".
And then there is the issue of health and appearances. I knew that my attendance at the reunion was going to be a mobility challenge for me, plus the fact that I look NOTHING like I did back then. I didn't need the indignity of people not recognizing me...not that they would, anyway! (The only reason anyone would know I existed is due to the fact that I had the lead role in both plays and the musical during my Senior year. I was pretty quiet in those days.) It's just not the same as being part of a class in a smaller or more rural area. Thus, I stayed home.
Yesterday, I got a notice that reunion pictures were posted online. I went through them all. What did I see? I saw a bunch of old people that I would not have recognized had they not been labeled! The one that was most surprising to me was a pic of our "star" tenor in A Capella Choir. He is HUGE! I saw him back at the 25th reunion which I did attend. What a change! Then, too, there was the football hunk that my best friend had a crush on way back when. He looked like a charicature of Caspar Milquetoast. Obviously, life hasn't been any better to him in appearance than it has been to me!!
As I mentioned, I did go to the 25th reunion with my then-husband. He was hot-and-heavy into his affair with his secretary back then and really didn't want to be there with me. He came from a very small school in Fillmore, IN, and could neither understand my big-school experience nor give me any props for what I accomplished there. His one comment was that he could see how "someone" could get a big head from a place like that...meaning me. (Gee thanks!)
Because of my nomadic childhood as a Navy kid, I didn't make friends easily because having friends meant leaving them painfully behind at the next transfer. Like my mother, I never looked back. So when it came time for the 25th class reunion at OP-RFHS, I was looking at things as if they were magic. I think my thoughts were, "This really did happen. This place truly exists. I didn't just make it up in my mind." My parents left OP in '75, and I never went back after that. To this day, I think about those days as if they were something that no one else would comprehend. I get weary of trying to help others understand what it all meant to me when I'm not sure I get it myself. Oak Park was the first place I could call home (besides the family farm) because it was where we landed when Dad got on inactive duty with the Navy. I loved it.
Am I sad that I didn't attend the 50th reunion? Nope. Not even a little. Looks like they had a good time, whoever they are. God bless them all!
Why didn't I go?
Let's start with the fact that it's a 4-hour trip to Oak Park. The reunion was for the entire weekend. I could have stayed at my daughter's overnight both nights and driven back to OP for the activities, but I had just been up there. I would have had to go alone, and since alcohol was offered, I knew I wouldn't be able to imbibe and still drive after. I haven't really been back to OP much since my parents retired back in 1975, and although I think I could probably still navigate the community (with help), I wasn't confident that I could do so easily.
I looked at the "who's coming" list and didn't see a single person I was close to back then. Why? I wasn't close to very many people! There were 830+ kids in my graduating class. I was in classes with 100% of the reunion attendees over the four years of high school, but I can count on the fingers of one hand the ones I was "social" with...and most of those, unfortunately, were on the "In Memory" list. A couple of others were on the list of "Missing Classmates".
And then there is the issue of health and appearances. I knew that my attendance at the reunion was going to be a mobility challenge for me, plus the fact that I look NOTHING like I did back then. I didn't need the indignity of people not recognizing me...not that they would, anyway! (The only reason anyone would know I existed is due to the fact that I had the lead role in both plays and the musical during my Senior year. I was pretty quiet in those days.) It's just not the same as being part of a class in a smaller or more rural area. Thus, I stayed home.
Yesterday, I got a notice that reunion pictures were posted online. I went through them all. What did I see? I saw a bunch of old people that I would not have recognized had they not been labeled! The one that was most surprising to me was a pic of our "star" tenor in A Capella Choir. He is HUGE! I saw him back at the 25th reunion which I did attend. What a change! Then, too, there was the football hunk that my best friend had a crush on way back when. He looked like a charicature of Caspar Milquetoast. Obviously, life hasn't been any better to him in appearance than it has been to me!!
As I mentioned, I did go to the 25th reunion with my then-husband. He was hot-and-heavy into his affair with his secretary back then and really didn't want to be there with me. He came from a very small school in Fillmore, IN, and could neither understand my big-school experience nor give me any props for what I accomplished there. His one comment was that he could see how "someone" could get a big head from a place like that...meaning me. (Gee thanks!)
Because of my nomadic childhood as a Navy kid, I didn't make friends easily because having friends meant leaving them painfully behind at the next transfer. Like my mother, I never looked back. So when it came time for the 25th class reunion at OP-RFHS, I was looking at things as if they were magic. I think my thoughts were, "This really did happen. This place truly exists. I didn't just make it up in my mind." My parents left OP in '75, and I never went back after that. To this day, I think about those days as if they were something that no one else would comprehend. I get weary of trying to help others understand what it all meant to me when I'm not sure I get it myself. Oak Park was the first place I could call home (besides the family farm) because it was where we landed when Dad got on inactive duty with the Navy. I loved it.
Am I sad that I didn't attend the 50th reunion? Nope. Not even a little. Looks like they had a good time, whoever they are. God bless them all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)