Each day is another adventure in sadness. I don't know what I...or my grandchildren...did to deserve what we got, but life goes on, dammit. The sun came up this morning. I went to cardiac rehab and got my hair cut. Tomorrow, Grandma Judy is coming over to render support in getting the house ready for the children.
The children! Robin and Ryan are to be allowed to be here from this coming Saturday morning until Sunday morning! Ryan had wet the bed the last night he was here, so I need to get his bedding washed. Need to get food in the house. Already contacted Jack to make sure he would be here. Need to do more laundry to get the children's clothes packed for Muncie. I miss them so much! Everything in the house speaks of my loss. I hope to make it a place of welcome to my grandchildren. They deserve better than they got.
I'll stick around for awhile. Have thought about leaving this place, but can't imagine leaving the grandchildren. They don't need any more trauma. God will provide the direction. Thank Him for my friends. I don't know how I could continue were it not for them, and my sister. Can't speak for my daughter...
I just survive. As Megan would say, "so dramatic".
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Emotions
Megan, if you are reading this, move on. I won't say anything you'll like.
I spent all day alone in my bedroom again, watching mindless television and giving myself permission to cry. I'm eating only a little better...mostly just so I can take my pills. I get hungry but can't choke stuff down. I'm not sure all of this stress is good for my diseased heart, but I just laugh at people who talk about "stress management". Yeah, right!
I have had a lot of personal talks with myself today, trying to work through the many emotions that I am dealing with right now: hurt, anger, fear, sadness, betrayal, and embarrassment, to name a few. There are other issues, but I can only handle one at a time. I will always love my daughter, but I don't like her very much right now, and I cannot tolerate the way I've been treated. Dr. Phil says, "You teach people how to treat you." If that is true (and I believe it is) then I have failed as a parent. I told Meg that if she gave up custody of the children (especially the way she did) that she would have to divorce me and find another place to live. She lowered her horns and bulldozed her way through, disregarding everyone but herself. She's on her own now. Her choice. I hope she knows what she is doing because this decision is irreversible. Thank God the children have a good father.
My thinking has been tainted by my raising. I was a Navy Brat. We moved a lot. I was ripped out of homes and schools on a regular basis. Had been enrolled in eight schools before 6th grade, but I always had my parents and my grandparents, together. Also, my mother (who had lost a child to a tragic accident) had sided with society that stigmatized mothers who gave up custody of their children. All I wanted, when I became a mother, was stability for my daughter. A couple of moves and a divorce changed that, but when I bought this little house-on-a-slab, I thought we had it all figured out. Then Meg and kids moved in. We remodeled. Now this.
Poor me? Yeah. Give me a little more time. I'm trying to rationalize something that is irrational. I am so thankful to all those who have propped me up in my grief. My daughter categorizes it as "dramatic". She simply doesn't get it... I have to let her go. She has already done that to me.
I spent all day alone in my bedroom again, watching mindless television and giving myself permission to cry. I'm eating only a little better...mostly just so I can take my pills. I get hungry but can't choke stuff down. I'm not sure all of this stress is good for my diseased heart, but I just laugh at people who talk about "stress management". Yeah, right!
I have had a lot of personal talks with myself today, trying to work through the many emotions that I am dealing with right now: hurt, anger, fear, sadness, betrayal, and embarrassment, to name a few. There are other issues, but I can only handle one at a time. I will always love my daughter, but I don't like her very much right now, and I cannot tolerate the way I've been treated. Dr. Phil says, "You teach people how to treat you." If that is true (and I believe it is) then I have failed as a parent. I told Meg that if she gave up custody of the children (especially the way she did) that she would have to divorce me and find another place to live. She lowered her horns and bulldozed her way through, disregarding everyone but herself. She's on her own now. Her choice. I hope she knows what she is doing because this decision is irreversible. Thank God the children have a good father.
My thinking has been tainted by my raising. I was a Navy Brat. We moved a lot. I was ripped out of homes and schools on a regular basis. Had been enrolled in eight schools before 6th grade, but I always had my parents and my grandparents, together. Also, my mother (who had lost a child to a tragic accident) had sided with society that stigmatized mothers who gave up custody of their children. All I wanted, when I became a mother, was stability for my daughter. A couple of moves and a divorce changed that, but when I bought this little house-on-a-slab, I thought we had it all figured out. Then Meg and kids moved in. We remodeled. Now this.
Poor me? Yeah. Give me a little more time. I'm trying to rationalize something that is irrational. I am so thankful to all those who have propped me up in my grief. My daughter categorizes it as "dramatic". She simply doesn't get it... I have to let her go. She has already done that to me.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Stuff
Yesterday, I dropped by Van Buren Elementary to tell them that my grandchildren would no longer be in attendance. I called the transportation people to tell them that Ryan would no longer be on their Kdg route. I called the soccer coach to tell him that Ryan would no longer be there. I was somewhat angry about it because I felt it was my daughter's job, but she had already abdicated parent responsibility. Close to bus time, I went out to meet with neighbor Jack and his mother. Jack was so sad... His mother was hugging him. I could only relate that Ryan yelled through the car window, "I love you Jack!" on Friday, on our way to soccer. He had no clue that it would be his last official contact with his buddy.
This afternoon, I met with the other grandparents for a late lunch, to talk about things. Interestingly, they are as devastated as I am. We ate, talked, cried, and managed to find a way to keep it all together for the children.
Meg dropped by to pick up some stuff just at the time that the children called me back from a previous call. Ryan said that he had heard that Mommy was moving out. He wanted to know where. I said I didn't know. (Truth) Megan went ballistic. Since she was right there (but only for a moment) I guess I was supposed to hand the phone over to her so she could answer. She left in a total huff. I called her down the road to tell her she was unfair, but I'm not at all sure that she understands. And the truth hurts.
Everywhere in the house, there are reminders of the children who are no longer here. Every day, I ask God for the strength to get through the pain. I can do this! My grandchildren will always know that Grandma Peggy is there for them. I'm not sure what they will know about Mom. That is up to her.
Each day, one day at a time...sometimes one minute at a time...I am surviving. Thanks be to God!
This afternoon, I met with the other grandparents for a late lunch, to talk about things. Interestingly, they are as devastated as I am. We ate, talked, cried, and managed to find a way to keep it all together for the children.
Meg dropped by to pick up some stuff just at the time that the children called me back from a previous call. Ryan said that he had heard that Mommy was moving out. He wanted to know where. I said I didn't know. (Truth) Megan went ballistic. Since she was right there (but only for a moment) I guess I was supposed to hand the phone over to her so she could answer. She left in a total huff. I called her down the road to tell her she was unfair, but I'm not at all sure that she understands. And the truth hurts.
Everywhere in the house, there are reminders of the children who are no longer here. Every day, I ask God for the strength to get through the pain. I can do this! My grandchildren will always know that Grandma Peggy is there for them. I'm not sure what they will know about Mom. That is up to her.
Each day, one day at a time...sometimes one minute at a time...I am surviving. Thanks be to God!
Monday, September 21, 2009
All I Have Left
Well...let's see. There is laundry. Meg left without doing that for herself or the children.
There are toys. Toys everywhere. Insignificant stuff that the children didn't care about but is left to remind me that they aren't here.
Thanks be to God for Phil and Judy (Nathan's parents) and Tiffany (Megan's friend) and my own friends (especially Ryan) who have helped me to TRY to understand what has transpired in my life.
I find it amusing that the children are now enrolled in a Catholic school...and Megan, who is so very opposed to organized religion, has said nothing.
I am forcing myself to survive. Made myself go to cardiac rehab today. Ate a tub of applesauce to take my pills, and had a can of spaghetti and meatballs. I'm hungry, but I can hardly choke things down. Meg wants to come and pick up her tent. Her tent??? Wow. Sounds like she is really suffering about giving up her children. I will never, ever understand.
It's pretty quiet around here, but I am beginning to perceive reality. I am finally taking control of my own life. It will take awhile. Meg will have to do the same with hers. God provides.
I am asking Almighty God for enough time to find ways for the children to understand before I am taken. So many lives so affected. It's not fair...but life happens.
There are toys. Toys everywhere. Insignificant stuff that the children didn't care about but is left to remind me that they aren't here.
Thanks be to God for Phil and Judy (Nathan's parents) and Tiffany (Megan's friend) and my own friends (especially Ryan) who have helped me to TRY to understand what has transpired in my life.
I find it amusing that the children are now enrolled in a Catholic school...and Megan, who is so very opposed to organized religion, has said nothing.
I am forcing myself to survive. Made myself go to cardiac rehab today. Ate a tub of applesauce to take my pills, and had a can of spaghetti and meatballs. I'm hungry, but I can hardly choke things down. Meg wants to come and pick up her tent. Her tent??? Wow. Sounds like she is really suffering about giving up her children. I will never, ever understand.
It's pretty quiet around here, but I am beginning to perceive reality. I am finally taking control of my own life. It will take awhile. Meg will have to do the same with hers. God provides.
I am asking Almighty God for enough time to find ways for the children to understand before I am taken. So many lives so affected. It's not fair...but life happens.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
It's All Over
My daughter has given custody of the children to their father. Not much warning. No conversation. I had a couple of days' notice. The children got maybe an hour. They came here this evening looking very confused to pick up a few things before being taken to Muncie for good.
When Meg first told me about her decision, I didn't react well. It isn't that Nathan is a bad father. He isn't. It's just that I can't fathom what the children must be thinking, especially since they had no voice and no warning. I kicked Megan out. I didn't know how the two of us could sit at the same table and pretend that nothing had happened. Of course, my reaction has made me the bad guy. I've thought and thought about that. She would be in Terre Haute with her boyfriend, anyway...so I haven't lost much.
I am now, very slowly, trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.
When Meg first told me about her decision, I didn't react well. It isn't that Nathan is a bad father. He isn't. It's just that I can't fathom what the children must be thinking, especially since they had no voice and no warning. I kicked Megan out. I didn't know how the two of us could sit at the same table and pretend that nothing had happened. Of course, my reaction has made me the bad guy. I've thought and thought about that. She would be in Terre Haute with her boyfriend, anyway...so I haven't lost much.
I am now, very slowly, trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Rehab
Went to cardiac rehab again today after canceling on Monday. (Canceled because there were too many things to do--too many places to be at once.) On Friday, I was told that they wouldn't "up" the time or reps on the equipment because my BP went up too high with exercise, although it came down nicely when done. (I believe the top number was 200.) Today, although I dread going because it interrupts my day, the BP stayed down and it all felt better. Easier. No rubbery legs afterward. Not so much huffing and puffing (although I did break a sweat). So...next time (Friday) I will have an extra minute on the treadmill and the bicycle. I can do this! What doctors say about endorphins and exercise is 100% true. The exercise DOES up my mood considerably. Of course, I can't keep going to rehab forever because it is expensive, so I need to substitute it with something I CAN afford. In the meantime, I am learning a little about taking care of myself. Now all I need is a reason to.
More later. Time to get the children in for supper.
More later. Time to get the children in for supper.
Monday, September 14, 2009
My Heart Is Broken!
Patrick Swayze has died. I knew he would. It was only a matter of time...but I still hoped the best for him. *Paragraph break.* I am not much of a groupie, but I love serious performers. Performers who seem to be having fun doing what they are doing. Dancers, of course, are the best for me. In the "sexiest men alive" category, I can only list three performers: Richard Gere from An Officer and a Gentleman and Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing and Ghost, and John Travolta from Grease. But my clear favorite of the three was Swayze. *Back in the mid-80s, when Meg was about 5, Hollywood came to our little town in Illinois (Pontiac) to make a film. The stars were: Jamie Lee Curtis (then only known for her horror films), Patrick Swayze (who was an unknown), C. Thomas Howell (who was in E.T. the Extra-terrestrial and many other films, Elizabeth Gorsey, Troy Donahue (an aging star), a tiny first-appearance by a young man named John Cusack, who went on to star in a lot of films...and a couple of other character actors that you would recognize by face but not name. I was hired as an on-site tutor for a 13-year-old gal who was also in the film. (Hired because the producers called my then-husband who was the principal of the junior high then...and he suggested me!) Thus, for the one week that Melissa was in filming, I was on the set, rubbing elbows with famous people! *The movie was a pot-boiler, Grandview, USA. I'm not even sure it shows up in Swayze's list of films. Perhaps he would like to forget it...but it was the biggest thing to happen to Pontiac--and to me--in a very long time! I learned a lot about Hollywood that week. (That's a whole other blog post!) In any case, Mr. Swayze's death hurts me because he was one of the good guys...and he was only 57. Can't say that about too many Hollywood figures! It's so weird that he died today, though, because I spent an hour last night watching him on Youtube with "Dirty Dancing" videos. *Meg is in Terre Haute with a fever of 102, vomiting and diarrhea. I told her not to come home! Thus I did double duty with the children this evening in an effort to get everyone to their various activities (soccer and Brownies) in time and with supervision. Had to cancel out on cardiac rehab in order to get everything done, and missed my radio club meetins (again) but we all survived. * I have the Black Eyed Peas' flash mob performance on Oprah's opening show for her 29th year emblazoned in my brain. My grandchildren know the song! *Good night, and God bless...
Saturday, September 12, 2009
It's Lonely Out...
'Tis a gorgeous day. I love these pre-autumn days when the days are warm and the nights are cool.
Yesterday, September 11th, I allowed myself to watch The History Channel's stuff on the 9/11 events. And, just like when the actual event happened eight years ago, I finally had to say "enough!". There is only so much about that day that a human can handle. Why did I watch? Because I don't ever want to lose my perspective. I don't want those feelings to get so far away that the day is trivialized. I bought a new flag to fly just for the remembrance. Hung it from the gutters...then watched little Ryan put his LEFT hand over his heart and say the Pledge of Allegiance, perfectly, and without prompting! What a champ!
Robin and I have always been close. Ryan has been a bit more of a challenge, but I think we are beginning to understand each other a bit because we have more time together. I'm figuring out his sense of humor and motivation. He doesn't think like a female! In any case, he has had one discipline note from school. I am now checking his book bag when he gets off the bus to determine if he gets to play after school or not. Robin, meanwhile, got a really good mid-term report card. (Can't believe it is midterm time, already!!!!) She met her reading goal ahead of the other kids in her class and only got a "B" in English mechanics. The rest were A's and/or S's. She is quite proud of herself...and we are proud of her! This is especially good since Plainfield elementaries are 4-star schools.
When I went to cardiac rehab yesterday, I was somewhat dreading it. An interruption of my day! Well...the first person I ran into there was someone I knew...related to my ex...then found out that the "trainer" for the day was yet another parent of a former student. That makes TWO of the nurses parents of former students... I think it works in my favor because we can relate. After the Wednesday session, my legs were like rubber all evening. After Friday's session, I didn't have any residual effect. I was told, however, that they weren't going to increase my "work" because my BP went up to 200 during exercise, and they don't want it to go over 180. I said, "How will we do that?" The gal said, "Exercise." So...my goals for rehab have to do with weight loss and exercise. I don't have a clue how much this is going to cost me, but I will stick with it because it is good for me.
With Meg and the children gone for the weekend, I am lonely. Have trouble keeping initiative when it is so quiet around here. I just keep wondering what I am here for... If you figure it out, tell me, will ya?
Later...
Ciao
Yesterday, September 11th, I allowed myself to watch The History Channel's stuff on the 9/11 events. And, just like when the actual event happened eight years ago, I finally had to say "enough!". There is only so much about that day that a human can handle. Why did I watch? Because I don't ever want to lose my perspective. I don't want those feelings to get so far away that the day is trivialized. I bought a new flag to fly just for the remembrance. Hung it from the gutters...then watched little Ryan put his LEFT hand over his heart and say the Pledge of Allegiance, perfectly, and without prompting! What a champ!
Robin and I have always been close. Ryan has been a bit more of a challenge, but I think we are beginning to understand each other a bit because we have more time together. I'm figuring out his sense of humor and motivation. He doesn't think like a female! In any case, he has had one discipline note from school. I am now checking his book bag when he gets off the bus to determine if he gets to play after school or not. Robin, meanwhile, got a really good mid-term report card. (Can't believe it is midterm time, already!!!!) She met her reading goal ahead of the other kids in her class and only got a "B" in English mechanics. The rest were A's and/or S's. She is quite proud of herself...and we are proud of her! This is especially good since Plainfield elementaries are 4-star schools.
When I went to cardiac rehab yesterday, I was somewhat dreading it. An interruption of my day! Well...the first person I ran into there was someone I knew...related to my ex...then found out that the "trainer" for the day was yet another parent of a former student. That makes TWO of the nurses parents of former students... I think it works in my favor because we can relate. After the Wednesday session, my legs were like rubber all evening. After Friday's session, I didn't have any residual effect. I was told, however, that they weren't going to increase my "work" because my BP went up to 200 during exercise, and they don't want it to go over 180. I said, "How will we do that?" The gal said, "Exercise." So...my goals for rehab have to do with weight loss and exercise. I don't have a clue how much this is going to cost me, but I will stick with it because it is good for me.
With Meg and the children gone for the weekend, I am lonely. Have trouble keeping initiative when it is so quiet around here. I just keep wondering what I am here for... If you figure it out, tell me, will ya?
Later...
Ciao
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Global Warming Solved!
You saw it here first, folks! My brilliant grandchildren have come up with the solution to the global warming problem! They simply leave the front door open on hot days...and we cool the entire outdoor environs with our central air conditioning! Now, if we could just convince every household to do the same, we could lower Earth's temperature by a degree or two... I know I've done MY share!
It's amazing how fast a day goes by. After Grandma Duties today, there was time to clean out the refrigerator, do a little grocery shopping, and go to cardiac rehab. Period. HOWEVER, cleaning out the refrigerator was a major job. There was unrecognizable stuff in there! Black things. Soupy things. Things that had expiration dates of three months ago. Yuck!
The last time I went to cardiac rehab was an "admissions" session. They went easy on me. Today, they didn't...and my muscles feel it. Not sore, but weak...as in WORKED. I will be doing this three days a week for a little bit, then have to find an acceptable substitute. The advantage of this is that my heart and BP are monitored, as is the amount of exercise I can take before doing TOO much. I think I am doing okay. One of the gals that works there is the mother of a former student. Fortunately, he was one of the better ones, so it works in my favor!
Let's see...Robin and Ryan took several blankets/pillows outside to play with this evening...and tonight, with one of those blankets, Robin has had a couple of little bugs in her room. I hope she has learned something, although I have admitted her to my bed for the night. Maybe I'M the one who needs to learn! I only had to kick Ryan out of Robin's room once. As he was being escorted back to his lair, he asked me when I was going to go to sleep. Kids think we are stupid!
Haven't heard from him since, btw. He's had a busy day.
So have I...so I'm signing off.
Ciao.
It's amazing how fast a day goes by. After Grandma Duties today, there was time to clean out the refrigerator, do a little grocery shopping, and go to cardiac rehab. Period. HOWEVER, cleaning out the refrigerator was a major job. There was unrecognizable stuff in there! Black things. Soupy things. Things that had expiration dates of three months ago. Yuck!
The last time I went to cardiac rehab was an "admissions" session. They went easy on me. Today, they didn't...and my muscles feel it. Not sore, but weak...as in WORKED. I will be doing this three days a week for a little bit, then have to find an acceptable substitute. The advantage of this is that my heart and BP are monitored, as is the amount of exercise I can take before doing TOO much. I think I am doing okay. One of the gals that works there is the mother of a former student. Fortunately, he was one of the better ones, so it works in my favor!
Let's see...Robin and Ryan took several blankets/pillows outside to play with this evening...and tonight, with one of those blankets, Robin has had a couple of little bugs in her room. I hope she has learned something, although I have admitted her to my bed for the night. Maybe I'M the one who needs to learn! I only had to kick Ryan out of Robin's room once. As he was being escorted back to his lair, he asked me when I was going to go to sleep. Kids think we are stupid!
Haven't heard from him since, btw. He's had a busy day.
So have I...so I'm signing off.
Ciao.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Busy Day
After I got Robin on the school bus this morning, Ryan and I ran an errand or two. He wanted new "crocs"...you know...those rubber shoes that make your feet sweat and stink? Meg and I both have issues with them; however, Ryan can at least play in mud puddles with them. Maybe investing the few $$ in those will save the school shoes??
This was one of those "how to be in two places at once" afternoons. The children had Grandparents' Day at school from 5:00-6:00. If I waited to feed them until we got back, there would be no play time. (They get off the bus at 4:00.) I decided I'd fix supper early and feed it to them as their after-school snack, then leave the rest on the stove for Meg when she gets home (usually about 5:45). That would allow some time for homework and play when we got back. Well...it WOULD have worked had Ryan known that friend Jack wouldn't come out to play right after school. Ry basically didn't eat, but wasn't allowed to go out until Robin and I were finished, and by then it was just about time to leave. (The boy eats all morning, but has virtually nothing at suppertime because of Jack. We've had to make rules...)
Ryan was dressed in navy shorts and a navy-and-white-striped polo shirt, so I decided to put Robin in a little outfit that Grandma Judy had bought for her...also navy blue. Truth be known, it was probably too warm for the sweater, but Robin wanted to gussy-up, so we went with it. I wanted Judy to see Robin in the outfit. (She buys things but doesn't always get to see the kids in them.) We met Grandma Judy and Grandpa Phil at the front of the school so we could all go in together. Went to Robin's room first, then Ryan's, then to the cafeteria for Ritter's ice cream. Then home. It's a whirlwind tour, but I think it's good for the children to be able to show off their grandparents...and for us all to be together, for them. (The other grandparents weren't available but would have been invited, had they been in town.)
Friends Ryan and Bonnie Holly have a new grandchild today! The young-un was born this morning by C-section a little early due to complications, but I am told that mother and son are doing well. Their other grandchild is 15, so it's been a long time since they have had a baby to spoil. The down side of this is that the little one and parents are moving to Tennessee. Not fun!
I have another cardiac rehab session tomorrow afternoon. This will go on until whenever... I don't mind doing it, if I can afford it...except that it takes up virtually all of my free time three days a week. I want to stick with it. Can't hurt me...right?
Oh...on a continuance of the "keeping humble" post of a few days ago...Robin told me this afternoon (with a smile on her face) that I'd have to do my hair before we left for Grandparents' Day...but I'd already done it! Then she kissed me on the cheek and asked if that helped. She's a skunk!
This was one of those "how to be in two places at once" afternoons. The children had Grandparents' Day at school from 5:00-6:00. If I waited to feed them until we got back, there would be no play time. (They get off the bus at 4:00.) I decided I'd fix supper early and feed it to them as their after-school snack, then leave the rest on the stove for Meg when she gets home (usually about 5:45). That would allow some time for homework and play when we got back. Well...it WOULD have worked had Ryan known that friend Jack wouldn't come out to play right after school. Ry basically didn't eat, but wasn't allowed to go out until Robin and I were finished, and by then it was just about time to leave. (The boy eats all morning, but has virtually nothing at suppertime because of Jack. We've had to make rules...)
Ryan was dressed in navy shorts and a navy-and-white-striped polo shirt, so I decided to put Robin in a little outfit that Grandma Judy had bought for her...also navy blue. Truth be known, it was probably too warm for the sweater, but Robin wanted to gussy-up, so we went with it. I wanted Judy to see Robin in the outfit. (She buys things but doesn't always get to see the kids in them.) We met Grandma Judy and Grandpa Phil at the front of the school so we could all go in together. Went to Robin's room first, then Ryan's, then to the cafeteria for Ritter's ice cream. Then home. It's a whirlwind tour, but I think it's good for the children to be able to show off their grandparents...and for us all to be together, for them. (The other grandparents weren't available but would have been invited, had they been in town.)
Friends Ryan and Bonnie Holly have a new grandchild today! The young-un was born this morning by C-section a little early due to complications, but I am told that mother and son are doing well. Their other grandchild is 15, so it's been a long time since they have had a baby to spoil. The down side of this is that the little one and parents are moving to Tennessee. Not fun!
I have another cardiac rehab session tomorrow afternoon. This will go on until whenever... I don't mind doing it, if I can afford it...except that it takes up virtually all of my free time three days a week. I want to stick with it. Can't hurt me...right?
Oh...on a continuance of the "keeping humble" post of a few days ago...Robin told me this afternoon (with a smile on her face) that I'd have to do my hair before we left for Grandparents' Day...but I'd already done it! Then she kissed me on the cheek and asked if that helped. She's a skunk!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Maybe It's the Rain, But...
I just don't have a lot of initiative today. There are a zillion things to do, but I haven't done any of them. I did make a big pot of chili for me. (I fixed it for me because no one is here.) You'll be proud that I haven't eaten it ALL....yet!
Have been watching a lot of TV today...Ocean Force, which is reality TV that follows lifeguards at various beaches in the US. I've never been on Spring Break in Florida, but it sure looks insane. Maybe not quite as bad as the Cops shows that take place during Mardi Gras, but still pretty wicked. Youth is wasted on the young! Methinks the police show a lot of restraint. Must be a little like the Indy police during Race Weekend...
Maybe I'll get more energy as the day progresses. Hasn't happened so far!
Have been watching a lot of TV today...Ocean Force, which is reality TV that follows lifeguards at various beaches in the US. I've never been on Spring Break in Florida, but it sure looks insane. Maybe not quite as bad as the Cops shows that take place during Mardi Gras, but still pretty wicked. Youth is wasted on the young! Methinks the police show a lot of restraint. Must be a little like the Indy police during Race Weekend...
Maybe I'll get more energy as the day progresses. Hasn't happened so far!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Hummers and Ground Squirrels and Cats. Oh My!
It has been awhile since I've posted on here. Have been in a terribly sad/upset state of mind which has made it tough to come up with things to write.
There are still some good things in life, however. For one thing, I was out on the patio this morning when a hummingbird came along and stared me in the face for a few moments before moving on. I would have suspected that they would have already left for places south. It was a treat to see the little thing. Then moments later, a little ground squirrel came scurrying around the back yard, looking very much like he had business to attend to. He finally ran under the fence, but not before I talked to him for a little bit.
I also learned something new about cats this morning. A friend of mine and I were talking on the phone about cats when he asked if it's true that calico cats are all female. I had never heard that before, so I looked it up on the trusty Internet...and yes, it is partially true. The vast majority are, indeed, female...except for a rare male that has two X chromosomes and one Y chromosome, and are virtually sterile. I didn't know that! (A calico is only a calico if it has three colors in "blocks": black, orange, and white.)
On another note, I did an introductory session of cardiac rehabilitation on Thursday, recommended by my cardiologist. I had to take a 35-question quiz about heart knowledge, and only missed one (the last one). The gal that scored it said she had never had anyone score that high. Good for me! I was happy that I got through the whole session without falling apart, physically, and no sore muscles the next day. Fortunately, I have good knees and no arthritis anywhere (that I know of), so that helps. I will continue with the sessions as long as I (and insurance) can afford them. I guess they go on anywhere from four to twelve weeks...
I will be having a late lunch/early supper with "Big Ryan" and his wife today at a local Mexican restaurant. Nice diversion! I have a lot to do here at home, but I don't mind breaking bread with friends when I can. Works for me!
There are still some good things in life, however. For one thing, I was out on the patio this morning when a hummingbird came along and stared me in the face for a few moments before moving on. I would have suspected that they would have already left for places south. It was a treat to see the little thing. Then moments later, a little ground squirrel came scurrying around the back yard, looking very much like he had business to attend to. He finally ran under the fence, but not before I talked to him for a little bit.
I also learned something new about cats this morning. A friend of mine and I were talking on the phone about cats when he asked if it's true that calico cats are all female. I had never heard that before, so I looked it up on the trusty Internet...and yes, it is partially true. The vast majority are, indeed, female...except for a rare male that has two X chromosomes and one Y chromosome, and are virtually sterile. I didn't know that! (A calico is only a calico if it has three colors in "blocks": black, orange, and white.)
On another note, I did an introductory session of cardiac rehabilitation on Thursday, recommended by my cardiologist. I had to take a 35-question quiz about heart knowledge, and only missed one (the last one). The gal that scored it said she had never had anyone score that high. Good for me! I was happy that I got through the whole session without falling apart, physically, and no sore muscles the next day. Fortunately, I have good knees and no arthritis anywhere (that I know of), so that helps. I will continue with the sessions as long as I (and insurance) can afford them. I guess they go on anywhere from four to twelve weeks...
I will be having a late lunch/early supper with "Big Ryan" and his wife today at a local Mexican restaurant. Nice diversion! I have a lot to do here at home, but I don't mind breaking bread with friends when I can. Works for me!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Keeping Humble
Maybe it's time for me to pay more attention to my appearance. I don't always put myself together when I know I'm going to be home all day. At supper last night, Ryan was talking about who he might marry. He made it sound like there weren't many choices. He told his mother, "I can't marry you...and you're beautiful!" Knowing that my hair wasn't done and my face wasn't on, I asked, "What about me? Am I beautiful, too?" His quiet little comment was, "I think you used to be..." Megan laughed, darn her! Just wait until SHE gets to be my age and discovers that beauty fades and things sag, and there ain't nuthin' she can do about it!