Stuff

Yesterday, I dropped by Van Buren Elementary to tell them that my grandchildren would no longer be in attendance. I called the transportation people to tell them that Ryan would no longer be on their Kdg route. I called the soccer coach to tell him that Ryan would no longer be there. I was somewhat angry about it because I felt it was my daughter's job, but she had already abdicated parent responsibility. Close to bus time, I went out to meet with neighbor Jack and his mother. Jack was so sad... His mother was hugging him. I could only relate that Ryan yelled through the car window, "I love you Jack!" on Friday, on our way to soccer. He had no clue that it would be his last official contact with his buddy.

This afternoon, I met with the other grandparents for a late lunch, to talk about things. Interestingly, they are as devastated as I am. We ate, talked, cried, and managed to find a way to keep it all together for the children.

Meg dropped by to pick up some stuff just at the time that the children called me back from a previous call. Ryan said that he had heard that Mommy was moving out. He wanted to know where. I said I didn't know. (Truth) Megan went ballistic. Since she was right there (but only for a moment) I guess I was supposed to hand the phone over to her so she could answer. She left in a total huff. I called her down the road to tell her she was unfair, but I'm not at all sure that she understands. And the truth hurts.

Everywhere in the house, there are reminders of the children who are no longer here. Every day, I ask God for the strength to get through the pain. I can do this! My grandchildren will always know that Grandma Peggy is there for them. I'm not sure what they will know about Mom. That is up to her.

Each day, one day at a time...sometimes one minute at a time...I am surviving. Thanks be to God!