Upside Down World

I had occasion to be talking to my sister about learning responsibility as children.  Looking back, I really had it pretty easy.  First of all--and this is important--the age of majority was 21, not 18 as it is now.  Things were different back then.  Sometimes, I think we should go back to that!

In those days, men were the breadwinners and women took care of the home and children.  Children were expected to be children...to play outside with friends until it was dark or homework time...then come in to do what was expected (homework, bath, bed).  Men generally took pride in providing for their families and did not want their wives to have to work.  My mother taught school for a few short years during WWII, but when Dad got home from overseas, she became what is now known as a stay-at-home mother.

For my generation, the natural progression of life went like this:
A.  Go to school and get good grades.  No need to get a job, even in high school.
B.  Go to college for an education that will set you up for your future.  Parents would pay for this.
C.  Get a job, in case you never get a husband or something happens to the man who is supposed to take care of you.
D.  Save money for a home and family.
E.  Get married when you are financially secure.
F.  Have children.

I wasn't expected to have a job in high school.  I had  no car to feed.  My "job" was to do well in school.
I wasn't expected to do my own laundry.  I WAS expected to keep my room clean, set the dinner table, do the dinner dishes, and help out as asked.
I wasn't expected to pay for my college education.  I don't think the folks had a fund for that, but it was always their intention to pay for my college.  We weren't rich...
I WAS expected to begin to pay my own way after I graduated from high school.  My dad delivered me and picked me up from my first real job, for which he asked $5 a week for gas.  My mother made it clear that I would always be welcome to live at home after college but would be expected to pay rent.  (Secretly, I was offended by that, but remember that I was still yet young!)

Somewhere along the line, society began to mess up on the natural progression.  More and more girls were getting pregnant out of wedlock in (or just after) high school and deciding to keep their babies. More and more young fathers were abandoning their pregnant girlfriends, or marrying them, only to leave later.  (Hence the modern term "baby daddy".)  Families adjusted, but the children were born into poverty that will most likely follow them through life.  The lucky ones who actually have both parents are often left to themselves to figure out how to get through each day because both parents have to work outside the home.  I have many former students who are trying to get an education to better their financial situations while trying to keep a home and take care of children that shouldn't be born yet.  It's backwards to me.  I applaud those who are able to make it all work!

With the "new" progression, I have questions (and, of course, opinions).
At what age should a child be made to do his/her own laundry?
At what age should a child be required to get his/her own breakfast and make his/her own lunch?
At what age should a child be left alone in a house with no one answering texts or phone calls?
Inquiring minds want to know!  

And it all goes back to questions I have had forever about nurturing vs. enabling. We do what we do for reasons that work for us but don't always help the ones we love.  To me, the modern world feels upside down, and that is totally the reason why it's probably best that I am no longer in charge!  My wisdom isn't always welcome, but I sure do care!