"I'll Be Me"

On Sunday of this week, the ET network and the CNN network aired a documentary-type program about Glen Campbell's good-bye tour.  I watched it, and I hope you did.  Everyone needs to see it.

Glen Campbell is a country music singer who brought country to the "pop" level back in the 70s.  He was always a favorite of mine, although I'm not much of a country fan.  He had good looks, a fine singing voice, and excellent guitar skills.  (I never cared much for his personal life, but that has nothing to do with his talent.)  Glen is now in his 70s and is, unfortunately, suffering from Alzheimer's disease.  At present, he is living in a "memory support" facility, mostly unable to communicate, at the end stage of the disease.

The film, however, didn't go there.  Most of it is about his final tour which started in 2011 and lasted almost two years with 151 concerts.  His family decided when to pull the  plug on the tour...when his performances were getting dicey to the point of knowing they were pushing things to expect more. He needed a teleprompter to help him with lyrics and would forget the key a song was in...and sometimes would stop a performance to talk about nonsense and silliness.

But then there was the reality of what was (and was not) going on in his brain.  Through his entire good-bye tour, the whole Glen Campbell-loving audience knew they were looking at a man with Alzheimer's.  One wonders if they showed up just to watch what kind of train wreck he would be. But he wasn't.  I was fascinated by the fact that this man, who couldn't think of words in his cognitive mind could still play the guitar like a whiz.  His voice had not left him.  AND, the showmanship in him was so very obvious onstage when the rest of life's stage was passing him by.

And I cried.  I cried because all I could think was "What a waste!"  The Glen Campbell we all knew and loved is now gone forever--not dead but unable to even remember the names of his wife and his children.  I cried because I saw so many parallels between Mr. Campbell and his wife, and my brother-in-law and my sister.  I cried because this thing happens to people without regard to gender, societal status, race, creed...rich or poor...and there isn't a blasted thing we can do about it.  Even Former President Ronald Reagan died of it.  And so it goes.

Dealing with the disease is a drain on everyone who is charged with caring for the sufferer.  Sadly, it doesn't stop until the sufferer dies, which doesn't happen quickly.  All that can be left in the wake of Alzheimer's or dementia in general is the hope that the damage isn't more than the caregivers can handle.

Here are the lyrics to the last song he recorded:

I'm still here, but yet I'm gone
I don't play guitar or sing my songs
They never defined who I am
The man that loves you 'til the end

You're the last person I will love
You're the last face I will recall
And best of all, I'm not gonna miss you
Not gonna miss you

I'm never gonna hold you like I did
Or say I love you to the kids
You're never gonna see it in my eyes
It's not gonna hurt me when you cry

I'm never gonna know what you go through
All the things I say or do
All the hurt and all the pain
One thing selfishly remains

I'm not gonna miss you
I'm not gonna miss you

May God bless Glen Campbell and those who are providing his care.  And may God bless all of the dementia sufferers and their caregivers.  I don't know what else to say about that.

And no, my brother-in-law did not pass the written driver's test yesterday.