Still Another School Story...Yet Again

 When I was teaching high school--sophomores, I think--I had an issue that started before class even began.  As the kids entered the classroom, one young man put another in a headlock and wouldn't let go.  The other kid was struggling and fussing, and I was in a quandary about what to do.  Single female teacher alone in a classroom with two boys about to get into real fisticuffs before class even started.  Whoa!

The offender said, "I'm not gonna hurt him, Ms. McNary.  I just want him to stop running his mouth!"  I had no clue what had gone on in the hallways to cause all of this.  All I knew was that it was up to me to stop this, somehow, before it escalated with class about to start.  

I was considering my options in the few seconds I had.  I gathered my courage and went over close to the boys and said, "I'm going to ask this in the nicest way I know how:  Please stop!"  To my total shock and surprise, the aggressive kid let the other one go, and the one who was released didn't fight back.  The incident was over.

Wait.  That WORKS?  All I have to do is ask them to stop, and they will????  Wow!  I felt so powerful in the moment, but in reality understood that the result only happened because of the one kid who respected me enough to let go when I asked.  I got lucky!  I had to write him up for the encounter.  He took his punishment like a man.  He went on to become a Marine after high school, and a union welder after that.  

That same young man, while still in my class, said something disrespectful to another English teacher as our classes shared the Media Center one day.  She told me about it, and I knew that it was my job to fix it.  I asked her what she would consider an acceptable outcome.  She said an apology might be nice.  Wow...how to get this kid to apologize for something he felt righteous about seemed impossible.  Nevertheless, I tried.  I hauled the young man into the hallway with me and the offended teacher.  As we talked, he came full circle to say he'd screwed up and was sorry for being disrespectful to her.  He fully apologized to the other teacher, and my jaw dropped to the floor and stayed there for a very long time.  I hadn't even asked him to do it!  Of course, it didn't hurt my pride that the other teacher was impressed with the way I had handled the situation, but the truth is that I was flying by the seat of my pants.  Sometimes there are surprises!  I am a Facebook friend with this fellow now.  God works in mysterious ways!