The Return of School Stories

 These stories just hit me at the oddest moment.  I haven't repeated any, so far.  The hits just keep on coming!

Sarcasm when dealing with students, even almost-adult students, is never a good idea.  Still, there are times when only sarcasm works.  

Usually, at the end of each period--but always at the end of the day--when the last kid left the classroom, I would go around picking up the trash, pencils, and whatever other stuff the kids had left behind before it was left to the custodians.  One day, I picked up a worksheet that had been handed back, graded, to a senior in my last class.  This particular kid was the son of a police officer.  I'll call him Tyler.

On the trashed paper, which had a failing grade on it, were the words, "Fuck you Ms. McNary."  The words weren't on the paper when I graded it, so I assumed that was Tyler's disapproval of the grade he got.  And then, somehow, he managed to leave it on the floor in the back of the room where he sat.  Did he want it to get found?  Was he just careless?  I don't know, but I decided to keep the paper.

I'd had some minor problems with Tyler.  Nothing much...just not necessary.  The next day, sure enough, Tyler did something to bring negative, smart-aleck attention to himself.  I dealt with it, then said: 

 "Oh...by the way, Tyler, I got your love note yesterday.  You know...the one that said, 'F--- you, Ms. McNary'?  Thank you!  That's probably the best offer I've had all week.  I AM single, you know."

The kids around him were now reacting:  "Ewwwww...Tyler...busted!"  They were all quite attentive now.  Tyler's face got red.  He asked if he could have the paper back.  I said no.  When he asked why, I told him I was keeping it for evidence.  

And that was the end of it.  I never did another thing with or about that paper, but he had to have spent at least a couple of days waiting for the school or his parents to drop the bomb on him.  The anticipation should have given him a little malaise.  I hope he learned something from it.  I know I wasn't proud of myself but did get a great deal of personal satisfaction from FINALLY being able to one-up a smartass!

That same year, or close, our district broke ground to build a new elementary school.  The old elementary was attached to the Jr-Sr High, and my seniors watched the destruction of what once was THEIR playground from my classroom windows at the beginning of each class.  I took advantage of the occasion and assigned a theme--a memoir of their youngers days on that playground.  What I got were some of the most heart-felt and personal experiences of their young lives, already looking back at themselves when they were less mature and happy.  I loved reading those themes!  Obviously, I didn't grade them, but I did read them in class without using the names of the authors.  The kids enjoyed them, too.  It was special!