Nocturnal Injuries, Self-Inflicted

I have subconsciously always been a procrastinator.  I mean, I don't do it on purpose.  At least not on CONSCIOUS purpose.  Who the dickens knows what goes on in my brain when I'm asleep?  Apparently, a lot.

I've reached the stage in life in which, if I sit down and get quiet for a few moments, I fall asleep.  Sitting up.  Lying down.  Doesn't matter.  And while I'm asleep, bad things happen.  Some mornings, I get up to a sore knee, sore hip, or sore shoulder/neck, apparently related to my positions in bed.  They usually work themselves out in a few days, but what a crock!  

I have noticed that the bulk of my nocturnal injuries, however, happen in my mouth.  It seems that I clench my jaw in the night and grind my teeth.  One morning, years ago, I woke up to TMJ so bad that I couldn't close my jaw.  Chewing was almost impossible.  I didn't seek medical attention because I reasoned the remedies and decided just to be nice to my jaw and see what happened.  It took months, but eventually, the situation reversed itself. 

Many are the times I woke up to having my teeth feel weird.    It seems that they were responding to bite problems in my sleep and were moving.  Seriously.  My teeth were moving in my old age.  Many--MANY--crumbled or broke.  I have never replaced three of them because they are far back in my mouth, and I think that a much larger prosthetic dental situation will need to be performed soon enough.  And this is where my tongue gets involved.

One time, I got up to find the left side of my lower lip swollen and floppy.  Not a single sign of a bite or trauma...but something had happened during the night.  That one took two days to go away.

Last night, I went to bed at 2:00 AM after falling asleep sitting up on the couch.  When I woke up from the snooze on my way to bed, I realized that I had chomped down on the right side of my tongue.  I mean, everybody bites his/her tongue once in awhile, right?  It's never a cause for concern.  I woke up at 4:30 AM with a tongue so swollen and sore that swallowing was a problem.  It took concentration not to choke.  And under my tongue on the left side was what looked like a big blister--also sore.  

The worst part is that this isn't the first time it has happened.  I think this is at least the third time that I have had to wait for the swelling in my tongue to go down before I feel "normal" again.  And that's the only lucky thing about all of this: the swelling usually does go down before the day is over.  What causes it?  Likely missing teeth and mouth tension during sleep.  How to fix it?  I have no clue!

I have met the enemy, and he is me!  (With apologies to Pogo.)