It has now officially been one year since the World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 virus to be a pandemic. World-wide. It has now officially been one year since the world started to shut down in order to stop the spread of the virus, and it has also officially been one year since the President of the United States (POTUS) decided to downplay the virus and make it a political issue. Thousands were dying every day. He was playing mind games. I was disgusted.
The school district from which I retired years before had a group of teachers, parents, and students touring Europe one year ago. This was not school sponsored but was offered by a tour company to teachers/students/families interested in a chaperoned tour. A couple of days before their scheduled flight to come home, they were stranded. European borders were closing. Flights and trains and bus transportation were quickly drying up. Parents and teacher friends in the US were in contact with the group. They were begging for us to start pulling political strings at home to help them leave Europe. (They were prepared with numbers to call, etc., making it easy for us to let our Indiana lawmakers, including VP Pence, that they needed help.)
I was a 10-year-old kid when I lived in Japan (1957-58). Many is the time that I worried about my safety as an American in 12-year-post-war Japan. I needn't have worried. I had the US Navy behind my being there, but who knew about that, then? Thus, when I got word that 19 adults--some of whom were former colleagues of mine--and 20 kids of middle-to-high-school age might not be able to get home from Europe, I became part of the team to do my part. Somehow, things worked out. Embassies were involved and money with which to bribe bus drivers. The crew reached Frankfurt, Germany, with enough time to get on the last flight to Chicago out of Germany. Whew!
As a high-risk person in the pandemic's target range, I became a hermit. No one came in my house, and I went nowhere unless absolutely necessary. I have a decorative bench just outside my front door. That bench became the place for me to receive things or send things out. I am blessed because people did things for me. I usually didn't even have to ask. It's not in my make-up to ask for help, but I have learned to accept it with gratitude.
Over the past four or five years, I have learned to keep track of the weather. When a snowstorm approaches, I have made sure that I go out in advance to make sure that I have everything I need to make it through for a few days. In short, I've always been prepared to be a hermit for a week at a time, perhaps. I just never thought about how that would work over a whole year, and counting.
As Christmas of 2020 approached, I became inconsolable. It had been a year since I last saw my family, and that represented the most time I had ever been away from them. I became convinced that I would never see them again due to my own failing health, and that destroyed me. For the first time in my life, I was alone. Yes, I have lived alone for many years, but I always had the freedom to come and go. This time, I wasn't the only one restricted. The whole world was, with no immediate light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn't even pretend that all was sunshine and flowers. In spite of all of my presumed strength to make it through, I became uncomfortably aware that I was not okay. My Positive Mental Attitude no longer existed. I was weeping all day, every day...so I began to seek help. I wasn't suicidal, just in so much pain that living wasn't convenient. I was chiding myself for feelings I didn't think myself worthy to have. I reached out to my doctor about my "old age depression" made worse by the pandemic. My doctor put me on low-dose Zoloft, and it has helped. It doesn't make me happy, but it does level my moods. At least I'm not crying all the time.
All the while, I have been battling health problems. Tests. Blood draws. Dr. visits. And finally...FINALLY...vaccinations against the virus. Which is where I am now. I am still, perhaps, overly-cautious because I think people are acting carelessly in an effort to make life normal again. There is absolutely NOTHING normal about life in Indiana or even the US right now. Thank God we have a new president who is not a narcissist. We have a lunatic fringe, but I'm seeing more common sense than I have seen in awhile. Hallelujah! We have learned a little more about how to take care of each other. Maybe. We'll see.
This is not my first pandemic. The last one I endured was in the late 50s, called the Asiatic Flu. When I got it, however, I was 10 years old and healthy enough to get over it. This time around, I was 72 when it hit. I don't have enough time left to be burning daylight, waiting for herd immunity to take place. I'm 74 now, with even less time. I'm considering my priorities every day. Every day is a new hurdle, but I'm still in the fight!
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