A Rusting Steel Magnolia

 I once had an elderly friend, the great-grandmother of my daughter's high school boyfriend, who lived with him and his adopted mom, who was his grandmother.  The g-grandma's name was Gertrude.  She was my kind of woman.  (Actually, both g-grandma and mom/grandma were, but Gertrude was a character that I grew to love.)  Gertrude was in her late 70s when her g-grandson and my daughter were dating.  I was in my late 40s.  We were going somewhere together--probably a high school band competition--when we needed to walk across some slushy/icy pavement.  I instinctively linked my arm into hers as we walked, to help steady us both.  She looked at me in total disdain and said, "Don't put me in that category yet!"  I chuckled and let go of her arm, telling her that I was hoping she would hold me up, but I got her message loud and clear.  She wasn't ready to be considered an old person.  Kinda like my own grandmother who somewhat resented being put into a nursing home after surgery, saying she didn't like being around those old people.  She was in her 70s at the time and had been in a wheelchair for years.  

All my life, I have been fiercely independent.  While I thought I should be able to rely on people to help take care of me, they never did.  I always ended up, by design or consequence, taking care of them.  When I divorced my daughter's father, I was convinced that I could have another mate if/when I wanted one, but I didn't look.  I never, ever, was afraid of being alone.  I'm not easily frightened.  Never have been.  And then I got old.

Disability kind of crept up on me.  I retired two years earlier than I should have, but there were needs at home with my daughter and grandchildren living with me.  I wanted to be there to help them out, and I did.  The bottom fell out shortly after retirement, and I have struggled since with family issues and physical problems.  I'm doing what I can but there are communication obstacles that I can't control, and old age concerns that can't be fixed. 

In all of my independence of former years, I never understood that there would come a time when I could no longer take care of myself.  The time is now.  Fortunately, I have a helper.  She can't do everything, but she does a lot.  Every day on my own is both a blessing and a curse.  This old steel magnolia is rusting.  I'm in a limbo, of sorts, scarcely knowing what to do about the tough questions because my next of kin is so far away and seemingly out of touch.  Every new day brings new questions.  I consider each revolution around the sun to be a blessing, but I need to be tending to details while I still can.  The pandemic has turned me into a lump, and I'm not happy about it!  But...but...I keep plugging along.  

Can't keep a steel magnolia down for long...I hope...even with rust.       

Then What?

 A dear friend of mine, now deceased, used to tell me that he was weary of his children taking advantage of him and his wife.  They lived in a large parsonage with all three of their adult children, plus three grandchildren, but no one contributed anything to the pantry or the housekeeping.  Each time we talked by phone--which was daily, except Sunday--he complained about how irresponsible everyone was, and vowed that he was just going to write a letter to all of them to lay down the law.  This fellow was a Salvation Army officer (minister), used to giving directives that would be followed at the corps (church), but was frustrated that he didn't have the same clout at home.  I heard about it every day on the phone.  Every day, he was going to write that letter to his children to make his demands, yet every day, he didn't.  Finally, I asked the inevitable question:  then what?  So you write the letter and deliver it to your children, but they don't do as you ask.  Then what?  What will you do then?  He never had an answer, which I suspect is why the letter never got written.

The situation is like a dog chasing a car.  Obviously, it can't catch a car, but suppose it did.  Then what?  What is a dog going to do with a captive car?

In the US last week, a mob of demonstrators, egged on by our country's president (POTUS for President of the United States), stormed the Capitol building while lawmakers were present and had to hunker down for safety.  At issue was the election result that the POTUS lost.  He had already stated, months before the election, that the election was "rigged" if he lost.  He spent a lot of time laying the groundwork for his cult-like followers to have no trust in the votes.  Why call for a demonstration on that particular day?  It was the last perfunctory election business of Congress, to read and debate or accept the totals, then vote to accept or reject the Electoral College votes.  The POTUS decided that his Vice President should step in and somehow disrupt the process--a power that the VP does not have, according to the US Constitution.  Trump didn't agree...and so he sent his goons to lay siege to our capitol building.  

A lot of bad stuff happened.  Six people died.  Our nation's leaders had to scramble for shelter.  It appeared to some that the DC Police were in cahoots.  In the end, when order finally was restored, the Congress went on to finish their business at 3:45 AM, Eastern Standard Time.

As the seditionists were storming and vandalizing the capitol, my question was (and still is) "then what"?  What did they intend to do once they got in?  (And they DID get in.)  Some were carrying flex cuffs.  Some had stun guns.  Someone erected a gallows with a noose.  They carried Trump flags, American flags, Don't Tread on Me flags, and Nazi flags.  There was evidence that they were looking for the Vice President and the Speaker of the House.  What would they have done if they had found them?  Couldn't happen in America?  Think again!  It can, and it did.  And it's not over yet.  

The House of Representatives voted to ask the Vice President to apply a part of the Constitution to have the President removed from office for being "unable" to carry on presidential duties.  Mr. Pence has declined.  The House then acted quickly with articles of impeachment, which passed.  (The House has a Democrat majority.)  That issue immediately goes to the Senate, which has a Republican majority, and they are dragging their feet.  We are only days to the end of Trump's term in office.  Removing him now by a conviction in the Senate would be somewhat useless, except legally.  Actual removal from office, even this close to the end, would be a first for America but would also prevent Trump from running for office again--something he has already alluded to.  Still, the Trumpers are out there and still believe that they are being cheated out of something.  What, I don't know.  President-Elect Biden will be inaugurated on Jan. 20th, at noon.  The Trumpers have vowed to attack seats of government in every state, including Washington, DC, on the 20th.  So...if they do...then what?  What will they gain?  Terrorizing America is a dictator thing, not a democratic republic thing.  We have always prided ourselves on being a civilized nation of laws.  Yeah...we should have known better.

I don't have a clue what will happen.  I suspect that Donald Trump will "skate".  He has suddenly become Mr. Law and Order in front of the cameras with prepared speeches that he obviously didn't write.  I don't want him exiled or assassinated.  I just want him to evaporate.  **POOF** Gone.  I'm not stupid enough to think that will happen because narcissism is forever, but I will continue to hope that this dinosaur, who is only a few months older than I, will just fade into the woodwork.  

Now that many of the so-called demonstrators at the Capitol last week are facing legal charges, I am in hopes that some will ask themselves "then what?" before they or their comrades act again.  Consider consequences.  

One more note worth mentioning.  On the day of the riot, sources close to the President mentioned that he was unhappy about how "low class" his supporters appeared.  So many of us on the other side of the fence have noticed that his supporters don't appear to be all that intelligent, but I haven't said so before.  If his comments about those who are doing his dirty work are true, his followers don't realize how very much he has exploited them.  He now pretends that he didn't expect what happened last week.  Insane.  He has been abetting these behaviors for the entire length of his presidency.  Even I--naive little citizen that I am--has seen through the shenanigans since before the 2016 election.  Others did, too...even politicians who are now trying to save their own political ambitions.

So here we are on the brink of civil war.  What is it that you want, Trumpers?  And if you should, by some chance get it, then what?                        

O Lord, Save Us From Poinsettia Plants!

 I haven't done my research.  I have no idea where poinsettia plants come from, or why they are tied to Christmas.  I DO know that the red flowers are actually leaves, and that they need hours of darkness in order to propagate, but they hate cold, and they hate dry.  Enter Midwest weather which is cold outside and dry inside.  I also know that they are poisonous to pets, which is a good reason for households with critters not to have the plants.  Yeah...that's my story for not sending them to others at holiday time.

God bless me, I've never met a poinsettia I couldn't kill.  Understand that every time I ever received one, it was my full intention to keep this one alive.  To my knowledge, I've never actually purchased one for myself.  I did, however, after some personal experience, buy a realistic-looking fake poinsettia to have in the house for festivity.  Still, over the years, I have been given poinsettias as special gifts, and as much as I love the silly things, I groan inside because I know it will soon drop leaves and die, no matter what I do.  I can (and have) grown just about any kind of vegetable that can sprout in the Midwest.  I know quite a bit about local houseplants--and even some outside perennials--as long as all they need is occasional food, water, and trimming.  But poinsettias?  Yeah...no.  For this reason, and this reason alone--saving myself from feeling like a plant murderer--I stay away from poinsettias!

So WHY is there a huge poinsettia plant in my living room, dropping leaves like crazy and looking like a plucked chicken?  It is a tradition in my church for people to purchase poinsettias at Christmas and Easter lilies at Easter to decorate the sanctuary, all in honor or memory of others.  Even with the COVID shut-down, our Christmas service was held online with all of those beautiful plants to help things appear normal.  People are supposed to pick up their plants soon after the last service so the church doesn't have to deal with them.

A dear friend of mine is at the church every Monday, cooking nutritious soups for the homeless in Indianapolis.  Christmas was on Friday.  There was an unclaimed poinsettia still hanging around the church on Monday afternoon, so this person brought one to me as a gift.  What a blessing!  What a curse!  It was/is a beautiful plant that someone spent money on as a holy gift to decorate God's House, and now it graces mine.  I would never intentionally do anything to contribute to its demise...but...it's already on its way out.  

I have decided--in my own wisdom and no one else's--to treat poinsettias as consumables in the same way that I treat Christmas cookies and candy.  Love it.  Enjoy it.  Rejoice in it.  Then let it go, whether by ingestion or elemental exposure.  

I'm still quite thankful that others think enough of me to send me these once-beautiful plants.  I hope they will also understand when the plants goes on to their inevitable heavenly reward.  Are there poinsettias in Heaven?

New Year's Resolutions

The saying is that rules are meant to be broken.  Of course, if you makes rules for yourself and break them, you admit to weakness and move on with your previous behavior.  Thus it is for resolutions we make for ourselves each new year.  

I haven't done a study on the types of behaviors people intend to change at midnight on December 31st.  I think many vow to lose weight, stop smoking, not drink alcohol, etc.  Beyond that, I have no clue.  Personally, I gave up making New Year's Resolutions many years ago because I understood that I would only be letting myself down.  The rest of the world wouldn't care, so why set myself up for failure?

This year, however, I somewhat jokingly made a resolution that I would stop reading the public comments posted after every news article posted on Facebook or respond to them.  I get bored, ya know?  I venture into what people are saying about posted articles.  One hundred percent of the time, no matter how uplifting the content of the article, the public comments turn dark and ugly within, oh say, ten comments.  Then the fights start.  Name calling.  Fallacies in reasoning.  I'm better than you are.  Free speech.  Blah, blah.  Then my blood pressure goes up and I get depressed and discouraged at my "fellow Americans" who seem to have lost all common sense and logic.  

I had the audacity to post a response on a site called 22 Words, where Michelle Obama had defended Dr. Jill Biden's use of the title "Dr".  The Trump supporters got ugly, saying she wasn't a medical doctor and was being pretentious by using her PhD entitlement, and holding up Melania Trump in their esteem.  It was insane.  People all over the world who have a PhD, and not an MD, are called "Doctor".  What I said in my response was that while I am sure that Mrs. Trump is a lovely person, she doesn't exactly have the credentials to be held up as a role model for America's young women.  Responses to my words were instant and hilarious.  One person accused me of being jealous of Melania's beauty.  I laughed out loud!  If he/she only knew!  I've never had Melania's beauty or her money, so I don't miss it.  But yes, I am jealous.  I am jealous that I am 73 years old, and she isn't.  I'm jealous that she can walk, and I'm close to immobile.  She may ring bells in terms of beauty, but she will get old, too.  Are you kidding me??  I've never in my life been jealous of what others have that I don't.  I'm especially not jealous of a First Lady who has exposed her naked body for all to see, for money.  I'm not one to judge publicly, but if the general population prefers Melania Trump's beauty over Jill Biden's brains, there is something wrong with us!  

Another time, I had the nerve to respond to a parent complaint on a local chatter site about a football coach that was cussing out the players.  Many of the respondents were siding with the coach, saying that the complaining parent was off-base by complaining.  Life isn't fair.  Toughen up the kids. Don't raise wussies.  Let them experience life in the real world, ad nauseum.  (Most of the respondents were male.)  As a retired teacher, I felt that I had the qualifications to respond, so I did.  In essence, I said that the coach was wrong, and that these people would never accept this treatment from a teacher/coach were it aimed at a daughter rather than a son.  Apparently, I hit a nerve.  I was accused of being a "karen" and a "bitch"--all by men who never met me.  I did what I usually do when met with trolls who want to argue: I disengaged.  Silly me for responding in the first place!

So, here I am on January 1, 2021, having vowed not to read or respond to comments on the news.  I have already failed.  I HAVE read comments but proud that I haven't given the trolls reason to continue the nonsense.  Hope I can keep up my resolve.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!