On Friday, I had before me a beautiful three-day weekend. What better way to spend it than going up to see my grandchildren? With three days, I figured Meg and I could work on a project or two...to make a dent in things...and I could maybe get my grandchildren out of the house for an hour or two, since they have all essentially been snowed in together since the "lizard". Decided to go up on Friday in order to miss the 2-4 inches of snow that was going to move in on Saturday. I got there without difficulty. We all stayed up too late. Robin and I fell asleep in each other's arms. (She's my bedmate when I am there. Rather than sleeping in her own bed, she likes to sleep with Gramma on the futon in the living room.)
Alas, the trip was cut short on Saturday afternoon due to an "incident". There were unfortunate words, and I decided that the only way to save the weekend for everyone was to go home...which I did. I cried most of the rest of the day. Today, I have sat like a lump all day. I still have tomorrow to redeem myself, if I can. What happens in the future remains to be seen...
Today, I've been considerably down. It is at times like this that I realize that I have to get a life. My daughter and family have been my whole focus and raison d'etre. In the absence of that, I lose direction and purpose. Paralysis sets in, and I'm too young to give up. So I guess it's time to set some goals for myself and manufacture artificial motivation and strength to work on them until I get the motivation for real. Keeping mind and body busy is probably the answer. I'll make a list--starting with shoveling the snow at the end of my driveway that hits bottom on my car. (Thank you, Town of Plainfield!)
As Scarlett O'Hara said, "After all, tomorrow IS another day." I'll try to be better tomorrow!
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