Slow...but Sure

Went to church this morning in spite of a desire just to veg out. All my life...well, at least since second grade...I was a regular church attender. And most of the time, I attended alone. Even my parents didn't go with me. Then, in the mid-1990s, my father got sick in Illinois. I spent so many weekends there that I couldn't go to church. Then there was the divorce...and my daughter to finish raising...and I became fiercely protective of my weekend time. After Megan and my grandchildren moved in with me a few years ago, I became even more protective because the weekends were Daddy's visitation and my only opportunity to do the week's laundry and cleaning after all week at work. Now that I am retired AND neither Megan nor the children live with me anymore, one day is just like the next. No need to protect the weekend, yet a definite need to reconnect with my spirituality. I wouldn't wish what I have been through these last six months on my worst enemy, but I have recognized that only I, with God's help, can pull myself out of the depression and anger that have plagued me. Going back to church NO MATTER WHAT has been a discipline I have tried to re-invent for my life.

When I got home, I started working on the kitchen project again, but had a grouchy belly and felt tired. I laid down on the couch hoping for a nap, but noticed that South Pacific was on TV. I ended up watching the rest of that...and sleep was not forthcoming. Back to the kitchen. Washed the inside of the windows. (In that process, I discovered that one of the kitchen windows had been unlocked since...uh...four years ago? Scary!) Got the curtains put back up. (This is a big task because they are double windows and I am just one person!) Knocked down some cobwebs. Glued a broken piece back onto my hummingbird wreath for the front door. Fixed myself some rice. Blah, blah.

So, what do I have to show for two afternoons of sporadic work? One whole wall of the kitchen--walls, baseboards, blinds, curtains, and china cabinet--is clean. Am I done? Not even close!

And so it goes. As Scarlett O'Hara once said, "After all, tomorrow is another day!"