Too Much

Was in my granddaughter's bedroom today, changing bed linen and cleaning up the mess from the last time she was here. There is WAY too much in that little room. Ryan's room has a toy rack with bins in it to store stuff. (I found the missing bin, by the way.) Robin's room doesn't because they don't make one in the size she needs for the only available space. I just started pitching things...little things that don't seem to be attached to anything. She has craft kits that we haven't really done anything with. She has books that she hasn't read. She has candy left over from last year's Valentine party at school. There are drawers full of outgrown clothing and lots and lots of things like rocks, sea shells, beads, little dolls, big dolls, pencils of all sorts, crayons, Bendaroos--you name it, it's in there. I filled up one garbage bag. More to come.

I've been trying to clean and organize for the kids' visit. Five minutes after they hit the door on Friday night, I will ask myself why I bothered. Still, I keep thinking that it helps if I start out with a clean slate. Maybe!

Last night, I just cried and cried. One of my radio friends came to pick up the turtle sandbox and the princess booster seat that I had offered for his grandchildren because mine had outgrown them and are no longer here often enough to take advantage of them. I wasn't weeping over the loss of those things. Was actually glad to see the sandbox go. What caused my tears were memories of a little girl in the back seat of my car who wept pitiously when we drove by Hummel Park without stopping. She sobbed, "Bye bye s'ide." (Slide.) And I remembered the day that Grandpa Phil and I drove to Walmart in Muncie with his "big brue truck" to buy the sandbox and sand. Happier days...simpler days. I hate growing old and feeling this sense of loss, but I hate it more that my grandchildren are growing up and no longer have memories of those days. They were such adorable babies. I pray to God that they become adorable adults. I won't be here to see it, but that's my prayer.

We have a busy weekend planned. Actually, weekends with the children plan themselves. By the time we have opportunity to play with the neighbor kids, visit with the other grandparents, go to Sunday School, eat our favorite foods, do something creative, watch a movie or whatever, the weekend is gone. My biggest challenge will be the trips up and back, twice. The children just don't seem to be able to get along in the car these days...

I still have a lot to do around here in order to feel good about a visit, but I'm still pluggin'.