Eric

Slightly more than just a year ago, my former stepson, Eric, was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma, a very rare cancer of the liver bile duct(s).  He was 43 at the time and was very "yellow".  He had bile drains surgically installed and was told that when the toxins in his bloodstream came down to acceptable levels, they would do surgery to remove his gall bladder, part of his liver, etc...in hopes of  a cure.  Unfortunately, this cancer is a "sleeper", meaning that it is often not discovered until it is too late to cure.

On my birthday in very early March, he was scheduled for surgery.  When they opened up his belly, they discovered that the cancer had spread too much to put him through it all, so they sewed him back up and gave him a few months to live, without treatment, and a couple more, with.  He opted for chemotherapy which made him sick for two days after each treatment.  (He called it "Two Days Toxic" which we all thought would be a great name for a band, since he was so into the music world.)  Eric et. al. was told that he would be "lucky" to make it to Christmas this year.  He and his wife did their dead-level best to keep life as normal as possible for him in the meantime.  One of his last broadcast messages was, "I refuse to get depressed."  And guess what?  If he who was suffering the most refused to get depressed, the rest of us should, too!

Eric's wife, Diana, started a Caring Bridge Journal a few weeks ago...one that Eric contributed to...so we could all keep up on how things were going.  The plan was for Eric and Diana to fly to Vero Beach, Florida, to visit with his father (my "ex") and other family for Christmas.  Diana just wanted to get Eric on a beach one last time.  Eric's sister flew down from Dallas; his mother and stepfather flew down from Arizona; Diana's parents flew down from Indiana (just before or just after the blizzard)  Megan--(my daughter and Eric's half-sister), had just been there with her Russian in-laws. 

Unbeknownst to everyone at a distance, Eric had lost so much weight that he looked awful and was quite jaundiced.  On the packed plane down, he got very sick to his stomach--something that had been going on for some time--and was in such pain that the people in the seats next to him stood awhile to let him stretch out.  I guess other passengers were wondering why he was allowed on the flight.  When they finally landed, Eric's father was appalled at how bad he looked.  Eric was too weak to walk the 50 feet to the beach and could barely talk.  Everyone came to understand that he wasn't going to be able to make the trip back to Detroit on a plane.  Arrangements were being made to find a way to rent a van and drive him back to Detroit at the end of the Christmas stay so he could make the trip in a reclining position. 

Eric couldn't make it to the Christmas celebration for which his mother had made traditional Slovak food.  (His heritage.)  They brought the celebration to him.  Megan and Denis talked to him on Skype, as best they could.  The day after Christmas, it was decided to send Eric to a hospice center in Vero Beach because he was so dehydrated, etc.  He went by ambulance.  I think his wife hoped that they could rehydrate him and send him home.  It was not to be. 

In the morning of December 27th, Eric passed away, with his wife holding one hand and his sister holding the other.  Everyone else was present.  Had it not happened just this way, some family members could not have been there with him.  If there were ever a perfect way to die, this was it.  Eric was 44. 

I was sitting at my computer at Megan's in the early hours when the message came through.  When she emerged from her bedroom, we hugged for a bit.  No words were needed.  Thankfully, Eric was cremated and his memorial services will take place in the spring/summer when winter travel problem potentials have passed. 

Eric's long battle with cancer is over.  He is now without pain.  I will be meeting his wife in Indy for "coffee" tomorrow.  (She's in town for a music "gig".)  Thus endeth a long saga that did not have a happy ending, but couldn't have ended better.  If that makes any sense at all...