I hate cancer. It is such an ugly disease. Not only physically. it also causes you to question your strength, your courage, your beliefs. It breaks you down to practically nothing. You are left wondering if it is Karma? or fate? Or God's will? But, then you can't help but think that any real God would not do such a thing. No real God would put people through such torment and pain. And Why is... it that some of us make it? And some don't? We all fight. We all give everything that we have to come out the other side. I don't know the answer to most of these questions. But, I do believe in God. I do believe that some of us are destined to fight these battles and unfortunately, some of us are destined to lose them. I am so grateful, blessed and fortunate to be one of the lucky ones. I don't know God's plan, but I know that giving me a second chance was part of it. I will do everything I can to make the best of it. For me, my family, my God and all the beautiful warriors that can't do it for themselves!!!! God bless everyone EVER effected by the ugly "C"!!
Certainly, Ashley asks the right questions. They are the ones that we all ask whenever something bad happens to people who don't deserve it--usually us. Where is God when all of these awful things occur? I've mulled this over in my feeble brain for decades. I think it's a test--not a test from God, but a test to provide us with answers about ourselves, sometimes before the questions even come up.
We human beings are short-sighted and selfish animals. We live for ourselves, for today, with rarely a thought to how bad things can get. If we live long enough, divorce happens. Car accidents happen. Disease and infirmity happen. It is part of the human experience, but who do we blame? God? Yes, sometimes.
Consider my sister. She and her husband of well over 50 years married young, had their family young, and have lived a full life. They have traveled all over the world. They've had boats and snowmobiles and party friends. They are people of means, with their Corvettes and beautiful home, complete with swimming pool, and just about every amenity that one could ask for. I have often been envious of the "pretties" that they have. But now, her husband has Fronto-Temporal Dementia with Primary Aphasia--meaning that his memory is going and he forgets words, etc. His emotions are affected. These people should be living the Life of Riley, but every day is a challenge that defies reason. And every day, it gets a little worse. Her husband is terrified but tyrannical. She is trapped by his ailment but willing to stay by him every step of the way. It isn't right. It isn't fair. But it is.
My own life is a mirror of some of this. I married a man that I knew was a cheater, but I married him anyway. I believed things would be different with me in the picture. (How blind can one be??) Thirteen years later, I was in a divorce that has affected the rest of my life. By ignoring the facts, I created my own fate. Whose fault is that? My life after that has been The Test. God didn't do this--I did.
The Test is this: Where does your faith lie? Do you believe that God controls everything and "lets" bad things happen to you because you need to be punished? Or do you believe that you have free will to make your own decisions, and that your decisions determine what happens to you? And what about the things you didn't ask for but happened--the heart attack, the ruptured brain aneurysm, and all of the other occurrences that happen when you aren't paying attention? You can ask and you can struggle with it, but the result is that believing in a power greater than ourselves is only lip service to a deity that rules the cosmos. So you stubbed your toe and broke it. No gripe, right? But when your heart started acting up, you began to beseech God for intervention.
Pray without ceasing, but do not believe for a second that God has forsaken you when things don't work out your way. That's part of The Test. Believe...or don't. Just don't blame the Almighty for things that go awry with the main scheme of things. Blessings!
Consider my sister. She and her husband of well over 50 years married young, had their family young, and have lived a full life. They have traveled all over the world. They've had boats and snowmobiles and party friends. They are people of means, with their Corvettes and beautiful home, complete with swimming pool, and just about every amenity that one could ask for. I have often been envious of the "pretties" that they have. But now, her husband has Fronto-Temporal Dementia with Primary Aphasia--meaning that his memory is going and he forgets words, etc. His emotions are affected. These people should be living the Life of Riley, but every day is a challenge that defies reason. And every day, it gets a little worse. Her husband is terrified but tyrannical. She is trapped by his ailment but willing to stay by him every step of the way. It isn't right. It isn't fair. But it is.
My own life is a mirror of some of this. I married a man that I knew was a cheater, but I married him anyway. I believed things would be different with me in the picture. (How blind can one be??) Thirteen years later, I was in a divorce that has affected the rest of my life. By ignoring the facts, I created my own fate. Whose fault is that? My life after that has been The Test. God didn't do this--I did.
The Test is this: Where does your faith lie? Do you believe that God controls everything and "lets" bad things happen to you because you need to be punished? Or do you believe that you have free will to make your own decisions, and that your decisions determine what happens to you? And what about the things you didn't ask for but happened--the heart attack, the ruptured brain aneurysm, and all of the other occurrences that happen when you aren't paying attention? You can ask and you can struggle with it, but the result is that believing in a power greater than ourselves is only lip service to a deity that rules the cosmos. So you stubbed your toe and broke it. No gripe, right? But when your heart started acting up, you began to beseech God for intervention.
Pray without ceasing, but do not believe for a second that God has forsaken you when things don't work out your way. That's part of The Test. Believe...or don't. Just don't blame the Almighty for things that go awry with the main scheme of things. Blessings!
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