It's Just Another Day!

The holidays are coming, and with those come the memories of holidays past, many of which are rooted in childhood.  Thanksgiving, for instance, is so much a part of our social consciousness that traditional meals of turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, etc., are offered for free for the poor, the homeless, and the lonely--just so they won't miss out.  I'm not sure society understands that the food that goes into our bellies cannot replace family connections, but at least our hearts are in the right place.

Christmas is even worse.  We just can't stand the notion of our loved ones being alone on Christmas!  But it happens, sometimes.  The first Christmas after my divorce, my ex somewhat demanded that our daughter be with him and his family on Christmas Day.  We had already planned to drive to IL to be with my father for the day, but Meg was already suffering from feeling disjointed from her McNary family, so I changed plans and delivered her to Greencastle--a 30-mile one-way trip-- early in the day.  It was my decision to treat myself to a crab leg dinner somewhere that day, in her absence.  Never having been on my own for Christmas before, I did not understand that there are NO restaurants of consequence open on December 25th!  I ate a hot dog at home.  Along about 3:00 PM, my daughter called and asked me to come pick her up.  When I said I thought her father was supposed to bring her home, she said, "I thought so, too, but they left for Florida at noon."  So much for that!

What I learned from that day was that the celebration of the birth of Jesus needs no calendar date.  One does not need to be surrounded by family or eat special food--or even exchange gifts.  The hot dog I ate that day was enough, and even though I was angry that my daughter had felt misled and rejected, she still came home to me.  And guess what?  The next day was December 26th--just another day.  I survived unscathed.

I have been invited to go to Florida with my daughter and family this Christmas.  I would love to, but circumstances--many of them--just don't feel right to me  I've already told my sister that I will be with her for the holiday.  Haven't been with them for Christmas at least since my grandchildren were born.  In an attempt at a guilt trip, I think, Megan asked me if this were to be my last Christmas on earth, would I rather spend it with my demented brother-in-law, or with her and my grandchildren?  That's not the point.  I'm not given my "druthers" whether this is my last Christmas or not.  If it were, my choice would be to have everyone here, on MY turf, to attend beautiful Christmas Eve services at my church and observe traditions that were changed so many years ago to meet everyone else's needs.  As the only single person in the family constellation, I get pushed around a lot.  I also get included a lot. 

This year, my daughter and grandchildren will spend the holiday in Florida with Denis's parents from Russia, and her father/stepmother.  I'm sure they will have a great time!   I will spend it with my sister and her family, and we will have a good time, too.  And if I die between this Christmas and next, so what?  I have endeavored to live my life with no regrets.  Christmas will come again.  It's just another day!