Sundowning, Peggy Style

There is a psycho-neural event in the lives of people with dementia called "sundowning".  It is a period toward the end of the day when sufferers exhibit signs of agitation and anxiety, and the only reason I know this application of the word is due to the fact that my sister is the primary caregiver to her husband who has, at the very least, Fronto Temporal Dementia (FTD). They have been told that his condition could be the forerunner to full-blown Alzheimer's, but it hasn't happened yet.  (Doesn't matter.  The end result is the same.)  Roger is fully aware of what he calls his "brain condition".  He is terrified of it, and I think angry about it.  For someone who has been in control of things all his life, it's tough to admit that he can't even remember what foods he likes or what special occasions are all about.  Yet, every month, he slips a little bit more into memory loss--and it affects his emotions.   He has become more and more childlike, and not always in a nice way.  He is under the care of specialists who can only assess where he is without the ability to stop it.

My sister (Shari) reports on "sundowning" events with Roger to me on a regular basis.  The so-called experts seem to think that it has something to do with circadian body rhythms, changing daylight hours, etc. I have my own theories because, quite frankly, I have a Peggy Version of sundowning, and I don't have dementia.  Yet.

I believe that scientists have identified a condition called Seasonal Depressive Disorder, caused by the lack of sunshine during the winter months for some.  I'm one of those.  I do everything I can to open the blinds, turn on bright lights, expose myself to illumination every chance I get in the winter months.  (This winter has been especially bad.)  Still, I find myself slipping in the evenings.  Here are my thoughts.  Scientists, take note!

1.  Bad things happen in the dark.  Children are born with a natural fear at night.  Put in our own beds, away from the hugs and safety of our parents then, it is the one time of day--no matter what--that we are alone and faced with fright over things that could "go bump in the night".  I sleep with the TV on and a fan for white noise.  I've lived alone for a lot of years and have never been afraid--except since my heart attack when I came to understand that things can go wrong in an instant.  My daughter and sister are both four hours away.  I'm not comfortable calling friends and neighbors in the middle of the night--especially if they use cell phones.  Who knows if they will even wake up when the phones are on charge??  If something happens in the daytime, the world is alive and awake.  After dark?  Not so sure.

2.  Think about it: by the end of the day, regardless of what you were doing, you are tired and ready for bed.  I spend my days doing, basically, nothing...but I can still sleep.  I don't care how young or old you are, fatigue takes over, whether you accept it or not.  How many times have you said--or heard someone else say--that you should "sleep on it" when a problem works on you?  Humans aren't designed to function well all the live-long day.  Sometimes at sundown, we are just tired!

I'm not willing to start new projects late in the day because I know I'm not fresh.  When I finally give up and go to bed, I pray that the troubles of the day and fears of the night to come will fade away. So far, so good.  But rest assured, it is sundowning!  I believe we all have it to some degree when we get older.  There comes a time in every average day for me that I am just all in.  I have to lie down whether it's bedtime or not.  I may not fall asleep, but I know that just the act of changing positions for awhile helps to relieve my stresses.

I don't have answers.  I just wish life weren't so doggone full of questions!