Mother's Day Traditions?

All of the mothers of my life are long gone.  My grandmother, mother, mothers-in-law--all of those who influenced me in my own journey as a mom have departed.  I had great relationships with all of them.  I truly cannot complain about anything in that regard!

My maternal grandmother was the matriarch of our family.  In her later years, she was confined to a wheelchair, so doing things to honor her on Mother's Day generally consisted of converging on the two-bedroom farmhouse where she lived.  Mom did it, of course...so the rest of us did, too.  Taking my grandmother away from the homestead was out of the question.  And then, when my parents retired to that same farmhouse after my grandmother died, the tradition stayed the same.  "It's Mother's Day.  We need to go and be with Mom to let her know how much we love her!"

We meant well, but you probably can read between the lines on this one:  if we were all there, sleeping arrangements were tight, entertainment for the children was short, and the meals were all on Mom!  She probably fell into a dead heap at the end of the weekend!  It never occurred to us to take our mother out for a meal in those days.  Most of us could hardly afford taking ourselves out, much less tack on the price of Mom and Dad's meals.  It also never occurred--to me, at least--to contribute financially or in-kind for the holiday visits.  What was I thinking??  It had always been this way.  I just fell into the cracks.  And to be honest, I don't think Mom would have had it any other way.

I think the most peaceful Mother's Day I ever had was when my daughter was 6-months pregnant with my first grandchild.  (I've written about this before but had my details wrong when I did.)  She and her husband were living and working at the Friendswood Golf Course, and Meg was working the clubhouse that Sunday morning.  It was easy/slow work for her.  I took her a McDonald's breakfast and a gift of some maternity shorts and a top to match.  She wasn't expecting it, so it was extra special for me.  I think she said something like, "You really do love me!"  Well...yeah!

One Mother's Day when Meg was in middle school, she decided to surprise me with breakfast in bed.  She had prepared pancakes--or tried to.  (She wasn't adept in the kitchen yet.)  What she delivered to me in the bedroom was what she called "pancake pieces".  And so they were, complete with a burn on her arm from touching something she shouldn't have touched.  (I think she still has the scar from that!)

So here we are.  Before I even left my daughter's place a few weeks ago, she asked if I wanted to meet up halfway between here and there for a Mother's Day meal together.  And just yesterday, she was bemoaning the fact that she hadn't bought anything for me for MD.  So??  Since when did MD become another gift-giving "holiday"?  It was meant only to be a day to honor one's mother.  I don't need flowers or gifts to know that my child loves me.  She is a mother in her own right now.  Time to pass the baton to the next generation!  I don't need "stuff".  What I need is attention, and I get that.  Can't complain!

A couple of years ago, my daughter and family were here for MD, combined (if I remember correctly) with my son-in-law's birthday.  Meg, God bless her, had a very elegant brunch planned for me and Grandma Judy.  She had a delicious fruit salad, baked blueberry French toast with homemade blueberry syrup, other goodies, and homemade Mimosas to drink.  She worked on it for two days, and we endeavored to make the table look as elegant as the fare.  It was all very delightful, but I'm quite sure that she forgot that the day should honor her, too....and that she was probably exhausted when she finally arrived home to the Chicago area.  I wouldn't trade it for anything....but I wouldn't ask for it, either.  It was priceless!

I'm rambling here.  I think my whole message is that Mother's Day is a nice way to remember those who are/were our cheerleaders in life and that we owe them our undying love and gratitude, but doing that needs to happen every day of the year, not just on Mother's Day.  The other part of my message is that, by the very nature of motherhood, moms don't need to be feted on MD.  When they gave birth, they accepted the responsibilities of being mothers.  Why do we need to be celebrated for changing diapers and being there every step of the way?  It came with the job!

Happy Mothers Day to those of you who took on the job, whether you are a female mom or a dad doing both jobs.  If you don't have any kids, Happy Mother's Day anyway!