Now, THAT'S a Daddy!

Over the last month or so, there has been a change in the family dynamic.  My granddaughter is now living with her mother and stepfather in Lindenhurst, IL.  Big changes for a young gal!  Of course, all eyes have been on Robin to see how she fares in her new school situation, etc....but Ever Watchful Grandma Peggy has also had her eyes on the rest of the family to see how they react.  I have been particularly interested in my son-in-law who has no children of his own, although he has been stepfather to my grandkids for over four years now.  He's done very well.  Still, being a weekend stepfather isn't the same as having one of the children actually living in the house on a daily basis.  How would he handle it? And now, after seeing it first and second hand for myself, I wonder what I was worried about!

First of all, Denis refers to the children as "my daughter" and "my son".  He does not make the distinction that they are "steps"...and doesn't like it if someone else does, except in obvious situations. This indicates to me that he is dedicated to being the best parent he can be to them.  Ryan adores him--thinks of him as the "fun master" because they play together: Nerf guns, video games, pool...even soccer.  Ry is reluctant to let Denis shower or sleep in because those cut into their time together. (Poor Denis!)

Denis is a VERY patient man.  I have never heard him raise his voice in anger, even though he probably has had reason to--with or without the children.  (The only time I have seen him totally frustrated is when his parents were here from Russia and he had to do translation duty, Russian/English and English/Russian...and one other time when his wife had a meltdown.)  Now that Robin lives with him, she goes to him for help with her algebra homework (something I wasn't taught until 9th grade, btw...and she's only in 7th).  As a computer programmer, Denis is a whiz-bang in math.  That, coupled with his patience and ability to explain, makes for calm and peaceful homework help.  He doesn't do the work for Robin--just answers her questions.  Tonight, I guess she said, "Thank you for making my homework so much easier."  She has no clue how much worse things could be...or maybe she does.  (I was a teacher, but my daughter and I had what I called Homework Wars every night.)

Robin and Denis are doing Tae Kwon Do together.  Robin had expressed a desire to do it, and Denis wanted the exercise...so they complain about their sore muscles together.

Denis is not Robin and Ryan's father, but he does his best to be what they need from him when they are there.  Having been a stepparent myself, I am aware of the pitfalls that come with the territory. My then-spouse never, ever thanked me for treating his children like my own.  Once he actually said that I cared more about something else than his kids, even though I worked my fanny off for them.  I got the recognition I felt that I deserved from his parents, however, when Grandpa Artie told me how much he and his wife appreciated that I never drew divorce lines that kept them from seeing their grandchildren and us at the same time.  I never forgot that.  And I will never forget Denis for his efforts to be the best daddy possible, having been thrust into the role by way of marriage.

God bless the stepparents of the world who are actually putting the well-being of the children at heart.  Denis is truly a daddy, even though he has never had a child of his own.  I love him even more for that!