By Accident of Birth

Let's assume, for the purpose of my missive here, that if you are reading this, you are a WASP--white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant.  In other words, the assumed "norm" for Americans.  Let's also assume that you were born in the United States and take for granted the rights and privileges that go with that. You probably are older than 30, and have formed lots of opinions about society, politics, mankind, religion, relationships, etc., all based on your experiences in life and the American culture in which you were raised.  You have established your fears and biases, also based on those, and are surrounded by people who believe as you do because THEY are American, too.

Now, suppose for a moment that, by accident of birth, you weren't born in the U.S. of white parents. Or that, by accident of birth, you were born with a physical/mental handicap.  Or that, by accident of birth, you were born to drug-addicted parents.  Or your family fell on hard times and you were homeless.  Or you were born gay.  Or...or...or...  How would your reality change?  And what could you do about any of that?  The answer is: nothing.  You certainly didn't choose those circumstances.

I had a 4th grade student once whose mother and one brother were killed in a car accident.  He was the cutest thing, but he was lost.  His father was in prison somewhere in Florida.  When Mom died, no one had custody of him.  Stepdad tried to help, but had no legal rights.  Sometimes, he didn't know what bus to get on at the end of the school day.  Was he supposed to go to his aunt's?  His grandmother's?  Who knew?  At recess one day, he came to me to complain that someone had treated him badly.  Whatever the issue was, the other kid had said, "Well, at least I have a mother!"  Words cannot express the anger I felt toward the other child.  He had broken no playground rules by which I could punish him, but all of the love and hugs I could give to James would not change the hurt he had experienced with those words.  It certainly wasn't his choice that his mother was dead.

I had another student in 8th grade who was autistic and stuttered.  He was very bright--in fact had the highest grade in that class one term--but the other kids taunted him mercilessly because he was different.  I provided preferential seating to keep him away from his tormentors but had to keep a watch on him at all times because, when he reached the end of his tolerance, his eyes would get wild, and he would explode.  Most of the time, it was easier to work with just him than it was to deal with the tormentors, which just wasn't fair.  One day, I took Sean to the hall to try to calm him down because the other kids had driven him to distraction.  I tried to explain to him that people who put him down were just insecure about their own reality, and that the problem was with them and not him.  His response floored me.  He said, "If they are insecure and unhappy, then they must know how it feels to be me".  It broke my heart.  I wept in front of the child.  Sean didn't choose to be born afflicted.  HE couldn't change how he was, and I couldn't change how he was.  I sent him to safer surroundings that day, then lit into the class about their treatment of him.  Did it make a difference?  I don't think so.

I wish I could attribute these things to immature minds.  Kids.  Yeah, kids.  Unfortunately, it isn't so. I've seen worse from adults.  Adults who are so egocentric that they don't get it.

Don't like black people?  Better be grateful that you weren't born black.  That means don't go to the tanning beds to make your skin darker and don't get collagen injections to pump up your lips, or butt implants to give you a booty.

Don't like immigrants?  Don't look too far back into your own history.  Unless you are a Native American, you are the product of immigrants.

Hate gays?  Why?  How many do you know well?  What have they done to you?  Do you think it will rub off on you?  Do you honestly think that people would choose to be someone that society shuns? And what business is it of yours??

We can't choose how we were born or what happens to us in life.  We should NOT judge others by conditions not of their choosing.  God didn't bless me with a lot of hair.  I didn't choose it.  I can't change it.  If you judge me by what's on my head...or the color of my skin...or my sexual preference...it's YOUR problem, not mine.

If, by accident of birth, you were lucky enough to be born in a sanitary hospital somewhere in the U.S. instead of in a dirt-floor hut in the Congo, you are blessed, indeed.  But you need to understand that we are ALL children of God, in need of care and concern.  Before you judge others for whatever they do that counters all of your beliefs, make sure you understand the culture.  Because--guess what? Being American does not excuse you from being a world citizen.

Even if your birth was an "accident", you are special.  The accident of your birth has changed the world.