Back in 2009, just before I retired from 40 years of teaching, my daughter asked me to think about my dearest dreams about what I wanted to do or see or have in retirement, if I could. I was stymied. All my adult life, my "dreams" were always tethered by my pocketbook. Surely she wasn't suggesting that she could provide me with the things on my bucket list! Worse yet, I didn't really have a bucket list.
Sure, I would have loved to go to the Holy Land, to stand in places where Jesus stood. I had interest in ancient Rome and ancient Greece, too...and the pyramids of Egypt. Those all would have been nice. I also understood that the United States has so many treasures to be seen that one never needs to leave the country in order to be dazzled by wonderful sights and experiences. Thus, when my daughter Megan asked about my retirement heart's desires, I was mostly focused on what was possible rather than what I knew was financially impossible. I think I blurted something like, "I've always wanted a piano."
Funny thing about pianos. They are big and hard to move. I've had a piano before but had to sell it before moving because my then-spouse didn't want to move it. (That was also part of why I never got to do the ancient cities and places while married. With him, vacation was camping/fishing. Anything more or less than that was unacceptable.) The other issue about the piano deal is that I don't really play. I had, maybe, three months of lessons back in fifth grade. After that, I was self-taught. I only played well enough to bang out a few favorite hymns, but I kept trying. It soothed me; entertained me for hours. And probably annoyed the daylights out of my family from fifth grade on. Asking for a piano would have been unreasonably silly, so that came off my retirement bucket list early on.
To this day, I'm not sure what my daughter was after when she was asking me about my heart's desires upon retirement. I retired a couple of years earlier than I should have because she and my two grandchildren were living with me, and I felt that my presence was needed at home. Four months after retirement and three months after my heart attack, she knocked the slats out from under me by giving up custody of the children to their father and leaving for California with her then-boyfriend. It threw me into a years-long depression that I am not totally over to this day. Things have changed so much for the better. We are good now, I think. Still, the closer I get to my own demise, the more I wonder about what I want to do or see before I croak.
Thus, I have compiled a reverse Bucket List. Instead of talking about what I haven't done or seen, I want to talk about what I have. My early life as a Navy dependent provided many of these. Some were purely accidental. In any case, observe Peggy's Reverse Bucket List, in no particular order (and probably very incomplete).
1. Have seen a for-real bullfight in Tijuana, Mexico.
2. Lived in Japan for nearly a year, a mere 12 years after the end of WWII. (Sasebo.)
3. Stayed at the Frank Lloyd Wright (earthquake proof) Imperial Hotel in Tokyo.
4. Walked the grounds of the Japanese Imperial Palace in Tokyo.
5. Had a Japanese friend who couldn't speak English (nor could I speak Japanese.
6. Ate Omochi at my girlfriend's house during the Japanese New Year.
7. Saw a street sumo wrestling match in the middle of downtown Sasebo, Japan.
8. Learned a Japanese folk dance and have a custom made kimono with accessories from those days.
9. Crossed the Pacific Ocean four times, (over and back twice), on Navy ships. Crossed the International Date Line twice.
10. Have been to a Japanese pearl farm.
11. Saw flying fish and porpoises following our ships.
12. Lived in Hawaii for three months while my dad's ship was in dry dock there. (The USS Arizona was still just a wreck in the harbor. No memorial yet.)
13. Have seen Diamondhead Crater, the Pali, and the Blow Hole in Hawaii.
14. Learned a traditional Hawaiian hula. Little Brown Gal.
15. Have sailed under the Golden Gate Bridge three times--once on our way out to sea for Japan, and twice on a tour boat, under and back.
16. Have seen the Blue Angels practicing their air maneuvers over the ocean in California and in air shows. Have seen stealth bombers several times; the Thunderbirds in air shows. Experienced B-52 bombers flying over our house in California almost daily.
17. Have seen both oceans. Atlantic as a visitor; Pacific as a resident.
18. Have seen the Rocky Mountains, the Appalachians, the Smokies, the Bighorns, the Cascades, and the Olympics. Have also seen four of the five Washington State volcanoes.
19. Have been at the top of Pike's Peak and the summit of Mount Evans.
20. Have been to Disney World and Kennedy Space Center twice.
21. Have been to Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, Death Valley (where is was 120 degrees), Hoover Dam, Yellowstone, Arches, Monument Valley, Mesa Verde, Mono Lake, Glacier, Mount Rushmore, the Badlands, Niagara Falls, Starved Rock, the Petrified Forest, Big Basin Redwoods, Hoh Rainforest, Olympic--all national or state parks and/or places of interest.
22. Have been to the top of the Sears/Willis Tower in Chicago, the St. Louis Arch in St Louis, and the Space Needle in Seattle.
23. Have been in Washington, DC, on July 4th. Have toured the White House, been to the Vietnam Memorial, Arlington National Cemetery, the WWII Memorial, the Holocaust Museum, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Ford's Theater, the house where President Lincoln died, have seen the original copy of the Declaration of Independence, the National Archives, the Library of Congress, and General Washington's Mt. Vernon home. The Aerospace Museum, and the Smithsonian.
24. Have seen the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial in OKC, and was present with The Salvation Army in Terre Haute, Indiana, when Timothy McVeigh was executed for perpetrating the event.
25. Survived a ruptured brain aneurysm (2007) and a heart attack (2009), with no lasting effects.
26. Explored Plymouth, MA, complete with "the rock" and the Mayflower replica.
27. Have had many successful vegetable gardens and have canned/frozen the fruits of my labors for future consumption.
28 Have spent many hours in a fishing boat, and just a short time as a crab fisher-person.
29. Birthed a baby.
30. Survived a bad divorce.
31. Explored primitive caves in Central Indiana--cave country.
32. Was employed as an on-set tutor of a minor actress in a Hollywood movie being filmed in my town at the time. (Town: Pontiac, IL. Student: Melissa Domke.) Rubbed elbows with Jamie Lee Curtis, Patrick Swayze, Raymon Bieri, Troy Donahue, Johnny Cusack, C. Thomas Howell, and others. Movie title: Grandview USA. (Pretty much a Grade B flick...or worse.)
33. Was the first woman in the USA to attend National Camp School for the Boy Scouts of America. 34. Became an amateur radio operator, Tech License, in 1997. Achieved Extra Class status a couple of years later.
35. Bought a small house in Indiana that has been my roots for 26 years.
36. Ate dinner in a private home in Oak Park, IL, with the entire Vienna Boys' Choir.
37. Have taught English and speech to American children for 40 years...and it isn't over yet. I still get requests from former students to help them form their thoughts and feelings in writing.
38. Am the mother and grandmother of beautiful people, and mother-in-law to one. They are my life and my raison d'etre.
39. Have been to New Salem State Park in IL, several times, plus Lincoln's Tomb. Also went to the Lincoln Presidential Library a couple of times, and Lincoln's home several times.
40. Weathered a typhoon in Japan and the near-hit of a tornado in Indiana.
41. Have served as a Sunday school teacher (both children and adults), Vacation Bible School teacher, chairwoman of a church long-term planning committee, Youth Director, Choir Director, choir member, and Assistant Church Historian.
42. Have had lead roles in four musicals and three plays, and a solo in an Easter cantata.
Endured the assassinations of the 60s, the bombings of the 90s, the World Trade Center horror of the 2000s, and oh so many more historic disasters of the USA and the world.
43. Was a Girl Scout from 2nd thru 9th grade, and a GS leader for two years.
44. Have been to the Indianapolis 500 race dozens of times, in the same glorious seats.
45. Have seen Fujiyama in Japan several times, and magnificent Mount Rainier many times--both volcanoes of particular grandeur and recognizability.
46. Have seen the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean at Vero Beach, Florida, and set over the Pacific Ocean at San Francisco, California.
47. I have officiated at the funerals of two loved ones.
Looking back, I am in awe of all that I have seen and done. Of course, there are so many other things I wish I could have done in life, but I gratefully accept that I have had so many more opportunities than others have ever had. My poor little list doesn't do justice to my experiences, and now that I am mostly disabled, whatever bucket list I might have had is now moot. I can even find all kinds of excuses why those remaining experiences are no longer necessary. I have never seen the Statue of Liberty, for instance, but I have convinced myself that I would be disappointed were I not approaching it as a refugee/immigrant on a boat by sea. Considering the disappointing attitude of the current governmental administration in the US right now, I fear the statue would look too small and representative of hypocrisy. Do I need it on my Bucket List? Not anymore!
No...if I were to die today, I would have no reason to feel cheated. I haven't done it all, but if we become wise from our experiences and opportunities, I surely have wisdom! Life hasn't always been easy, but I have been blessed. My Reverse Bucket List reminds me that I can die happy!
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