The Andy Griffith Show, one of my all-time favorites, had an episode in which Andy was lecturing his young son Opie about sportsmanship-like behavior. Opie had lost a race that he had dearly wanted to win and was visibly angry about it. Some other kid was wearing the medal that, in his mind, should rightfully have been his. He refused to admit that someone else had beaten him, fair and square. Andy had to get tough with Opie. "Winning is no problem. Winning is easy. You don't have to do anything special to be a good winner, but not everyone can win. Someone will have to lose, and if you are that person, you have to be gracious about it. You don't have to be happy to lose, but you need to learn how to lose." (I'm paraphrasing, but that was the message.)
My own family had a lesson in winning and losing back in the late 1980s. My then-husband lost his principalship in a small school district of three schools in a Trumpish political move by the Superintendent who endeavored to save his own skin by convincing the Board of Education that two of the three school principals needed to go. (He didn't outlive us by much.) We had been in that community for eight years, and my husband had been principal in one of the elementaries, then moved to the junior high, over the course of his employment there.
Losing his position was a major blow to us as a family. We were internally bitter but never spoke of it outside our home. Still, we didn't want the public to see the reality of what had been done because...well...the School Board had made its decision, and it was final. There should be no hint of sour grapes from us.
With my husband's permission, I prepared an exit statement and took it to the local newspaper to print (or not) as they saw fit. (Thankfully, no one in the local press had stuck a microphone in Joe's face asking for a reaction, as they do now.) The statement was short and sweet. It said something about moving on, and about how the students who had just graduated from the junior high had been kindergarteners when we came to the district...and what a joy it was to be there to watch them grow up.
The newspaper did print the statement. One of the members of the School Board was also a mover-and-shaker in our church, also related to a local judge. I heard through the grapevine that the mother of that family showed the exit statement to her teenage children who had been through the school district with my husband as their principal and me as the church Youth Director and told them: "THIS is how to lose gracefully. THIS is how to leave with honor."
I wish to God that the President of the United States had received this lesson. The votes are still being counted...again...and Joe Biden is clearly the winner (although it is close). Donald Trump is pulling out all the stops to try to change the election results--law suits, unsubstantiated claims of voter fraud--anything to hang on to an election he believes he deserves and is being stolen from him. No matter the results, he will not leave with grace. America prides itself on the smooth transition of power from one election to the next. It AIN'T gonna happen this time. Our great nation is still going to suffer from the wrath of a narcissistic man who can't/won't believe that the American vote--even with the awful Electoral College deal that put him in power in 2016--applies to him.
I'm still too worried to be assured. Donald Trump is and has been a dangerous person to have at the helm of a strong nation. It's going to take every bit of strength to get through this. At least I am a little bit hopeful that our long Trump Nightmare will soon be over, but it won't be pretty.
Stay tuned.
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