The crapper. The potty. The loo. The latrine. The commode. The wee-wee house. If you're going to where it is in any location, the rest of us largely know what you will do there. The toilet is probably on the top of the list as most-used appliances in the house, and the most private. (Or should be.)
When I moved into my house in 1992, the bathtub had holes in it. It didn't leak, but it didn't look good. Thus, I scraped funds together to have a former relative in the construction biz replace the tub, surround, and toilet. The old commode worked fine but was heavy on water usage. The new one was annoyingly shorter in flush time. Over the years since then, it also became a major user of flushing mechanisms. The flush guts were replaced and adjusted over and over again. In the end, the flush handle had to be jiggled 99% of the time, just to keep it from running.
Sometime in the last five or so years, I blew out the meniscus in my left knee. I eventually had arthroscopic surgery to fix it, but it was almost two months before I could scream loud enough for doctors to order the correct tests for a diagnosis. (Don't get me started!) In the time before surgery, I was using that toilet by hanging onto the doorknob to lower myself slowly and pull myself up again when finished. In time, I was convinced that I should invest in a toilet with a higher seat that will accommodate people with bad knees. (Not sure why those toilets aren't standard issue in homes. Sooner or later, they will be needed!) Thus, my housekeeper told me that her son, who is a plumber, could bring me the potty I needed and install it for $100. It took awhile, but it finally happened a couple of weeks ago. (Turns out that the commode cost him more than expected, and our agreed-on price really wasn't enough. I will make it up to him, somehow....)
So, how has life been with the new toilet?
*The new one is taller and narrower than the old one, revealing gaps in the paint job on the wall behind it. *The new one is elongated rather than round, so I have to adjust my sitting position, but it is so much easier to sit due to the height. At least I'm not hanging onto the doorknob! *The new one has two push-button flushes--one for liquids, and one for solids. TMI! *The new one does not require handle-jiggling in order to stop it from running. It doesn't have a handle. (Guess I need to figure out how the flush-guts work in case something goes wrong.) *The new one is CLEAN! The old one had hard water/iron stains that would NOT come out. It looked like it didn't have sanitary care at all. If for that reason alone, I'm glad it's GONE.
Has anyone else ever felt such joy in having a new bathroom appliance? I've been in my house for 30 years. I've replaced the toilet not once, but twice. Most people don't ever replace a home toilet. I'm not sorry I did.
How do you spell relief? T-O-I-L-E-T!
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