Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Which Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?

A friend of mine asked me the other day if I wanted a "social life".  It gave me pause.  I don't have a clue what a social life is...and I don't have a clue if I actually want one!  I am so far removed from the real world that I'm not sure of anything anymore.

When I divorced my daughter's father (because he left the marriage for his secretary, who was looking for someone to stray with), I figured I could just run out and find someone to share my life.  But I was quite busy trying to make a home for my daughter and me...and maintaining a job...new territory.  There were a couple of occasions when someone entered my life and I was smitten...only to discover that they didn't want a relationship.  They wanted a sex partner.  (One actually told me that!)  It didn't take me long to figure out that I wasn't going there... 

I became a Show Choir Mom...and then a ham radio operator...and then a grandmother.  The advent of my grandchildren replaced the loss of my daughter in my life.  Now, they are all back, living with me.  If I had a life, perhaps it would bother me that they are here.  As it is, I don't mind.  Having them here, with all of the foibles, is better than living alone.  With that, I understand that I am in a "love me, love my dog" situation.  Yes, my house is chaos.  Yes, my life isn't my own.  Meg relies on me to do certain things that I have agreed to, day by day.  She pays her way.  It isn't the best situation here, but at least I am part of my grandchildren's lives. 

So...everyone knows that I have given up my life for my family.  Did I have a life before that?  I was freer, if that counts....but after my brain deal, I have new priorities.  I may be making major mistakes now, but I don't care.  Still, it's time to make a bigger house out of where we are...  We can't live forever sharing beds and space. 

Life goes on.  I just keep up as I can!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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