Letting Go.

It has mostly been decided that I am fixing up my house for sale for a move to Seattle to become a burden on my family.  For years and years, I have worried about what would happen to "things" if I died before I had taken care of the cleaning out process.  So now, the time has come.  I have my Russian friends here to help me clean up, paint up, fix up, etc...  It is a long and torturous process that has needed to be done forever.  Having them here to assist has been a godsend.  They are virtual whirlwinds!  Hard and willing workers.  I'm taking advantage of them as best I can.

Of course, there are things they simply cannot help me with in the whole sorting process.  What to keep?  What to pitch?  What to donate?  There are stories behind all of my worldly possessions.  It gets hard to decide the distribution of each little thing, especially since many of them aren't even mine.  My daughter left them behind...so now I try to communicate online daily about what she wants me to bring and not bring.

In going through what was my granddaughter's room, I came upon the Raggedy Ann doll that my mother made for my daughter when she was a very little girl.  Meg didn't play with dolls much, yet Raggedy Ann has a dirty cloth face and removable clothes, all made by Grandma Covill.  Fourteen years ago, I found my pregnant daughter sitting in a rocker in the nursery that we were preparing for her first-born, and she was weeping.  Raggedy Ann was in her lap.  Megan had taken the doll's clothes off and saw the embroidered heart on her chest that said, "I love you".  Meg was in tears because she realized that, even though Grandma had died when Meg was only 7-years-old, she was being reached beyond the years and the tears with the message that she was loved by someone who couldn't be with us.  I'll never forget that.  I will also never forget that the expected baby arrived on Grandma Covill's birthday.  Coincidence?  I don't think so!  Obviously, Raggedy Ann will move with me.

In going through files and papers, I ran into things from the bad old days of my divorce.  Most of them are just amusing to me now.  I've trashed much but have kept the important things in my ex's handwriting.  Something for my daughter to remember him by...

I'm trying not to get too involved in the sorting process of keep, pitch, donate, choosing to handle each piece just once....but I hate to give away things that cost so much to begin with.  I'm offering things to people I know can probably use them...not just randomly giving everything away to Goodwill.  I hope others can appreciate the history behind what I have to bestow on them.  Whatever!

My help will be leaving on March 28th, so I need to step up my game.  Going tomorrow to get paint supplies.  I hate this!